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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Accepting lies on Facebook

26 replies

Cloudyyy · 08/08/2019 09:49

AIBU not wanting to play along with lies on Facebook?

One recent example: last weekend we went to a wedding. I’ve met a particular group of friends several times at different weddings over the years and there’s one couple who always argue when drunk!! The wife is unusually beautiful but has seemingly low self-esteem and usually accuses her husband of looking at other women. It all kicks off and they slate each other to anyone who will listen the rest of the night! At the wedding on the weekend, she spent the entire night sulking in the corner shouting foul names at him across the room!! Anyway, she’s now added me as a friend on Facebook and her photos (from early in the daytime) are all of the two of them and she’s commenting all over them about what a fantastic night they had together. Not my business but thought it was strange. Now she’s tagged me in a post with a group photo and written about what amazing couples we all are and how we all had an amazing weekend together “full of live”. I mean really?! I’m planning to just not respond - is this the norm? Would you say anything?

OP posts:
Original poster
Cloudyyy · 08/08/2019 09:50

Full of love, sorry

OP posts:
AuntyMarysBigRedPants · 08/08/2019 09:52

Those type of people drain me. Just ignore her as planned

53rdWay · 08/08/2019 09:52

Weird. I wouldn’t say a thing, you don’t want to be in the firing line if she kicks off.

Jetlaggedandangry · 08/08/2019 09:53

With her self-esteem issues she clearly needs to maintain an illusion of a jappy life on FB. Taking this away would just crash her. What are you hoping to achieve?

OooErMissus · 08/08/2019 09:55

Just ignore it - don't like it, don't comment.

LagunaBubbles · 08/08/2019 09:57

Nope, don't say anything however tempted!

Kanga83 · 08/08/2019 10:12

Remove yourself from the tag and don't say anything.

RosesAndRaindrops · 08/08/2019 10:16

Just roll your eyes and think "whatevs" lol, you don't have to comment or like it.
Who's she harming by putting that? You know the truth and don't know what it'd achieve by pointing it out or anything.
She sounds a little low self esteem, let her crack on, as you say she was drinking she probably has rosier memories of the night than you Smile

Wishihad · 08/08/2019 10:19

Just ignore it.

I know a couple just like this. I coildnt sleep the other week and in the niddlebof the night she put a post up about how vile he was, that she knew what he was up to that he was lying snake, she was changing the locks etc etc.

The next day I woke up, the post had gone and there was a photo of them both on a night out with friends talling about how great it was and how much she loved him. I think, she thinks no one saw the post.

I know someone else through work who will post constant photos of her and her boyfriend. About how she has met the one. He is her sould mate etc.

Then she breaks up with him. Gets a new boyfriend and posts all the same stuff about the new one. And deletes all the old ones. Like we cant remember seeing them, if she deletes them.

Honestly, I would just feel a bit sorry for people like this. They are probably, for whatever reason unhappy and they want people to think they are happy. Just ignore and move on.

thecatsthecats · 08/08/2019 10:19

Blimey, what a thing to get worked up about.

I just ignore the bullshitty posts on Facebook. Why get het up about 'collaborating in lies'?

sonjadog · 08/08/2019 10:23

If they do this all the time, maybe for her it is an evening full of love?

BobbleHat102 · 08/08/2019 10:23

Gah she sounds exhausting. You're not being unreasonable at all! Just ignore.

My mental health is so much better since i disengaged from FB. I check it out maybe once a fortnight, rarely if ever post anything and am very much happier for it. Obviously there is nothing wrong with enjoying looking at social media but its not unreasonable to ignore it, or ignore anyone or thing that pisses you off!

CallmeAngelina · 08/08/2019 10:27

Never air laundry in Facebook or call anyone out on it. That way lies Jeremy Kyle behaviour.
Ignore, ignore ignore. And maybe "Unfollow" her. She won't know, and you don't have to be annoyed at her posts.

x2boys · 08/08/2019 10:35

Meh ,it's Facebook people usually only post good things in Facebook , my friends dh ,posts stuff about what an amazing time he has with her, I know she's had some problems with him recently ,you can't take stuff to seriously on facebook unfollow her if it bothers you too much.

x2boys · 08/08/2019 10:38

But if that's their usual behaviour why do they keep getting invited to these weddings has nobody ever told them how immature and rude they are being and not everything is all about them?

SignedUpJust4This · 08/08/2019 10:42

Newsflash. FB isn't real life.

Dutch1e · 08/08/2019 10:44

I thought this might be a post on challenging lies about immigration or climate change or something. But when it's personal like this I'd probably just ignore it - there's really no way to challenge this stuff without coming across badly.

HollysTeflonSeptum · 08/08/2019 10:44

There are plenty of people that behave like that on FB.

The amount I've seen of the apparent"perfect" marriages or families being tirelessly portrayed then poof...divorced.

I'm surprised you're surprised tbh.

SweetSummerchild · 08/08/2019 10:48

This sounds like my sister.

To hear her speak, my parents are the most neglectful, cruel and emotionless examples of parenthood to have ever graced the earth. However, come Mothers’/Fathers’ day and my parents anniversary she, without fail, posts photos of them on FB with some line about ‘to my wonderful and loving Mum/Dad/Parents....’ The irony of this is that neither of my parents are on FB, nor will they ever be.

Her FB feed is like her life - full of lies and half-truths that she has come to tell herself so often that she now believes are the truth.

I just scroll past, grit my teeth and ‘like’ an appropriate number of posts in order to keep the peace. Some arguments aren’t worth fighting simply for the sake of being ‘right’.

SignedUpJust4This · 08/08/2019 10:49

This is the same as picking the most flattering picture for your profile. There's real life and then there's the life you wish to portray to others called Facebook.

Countrybumpkin00 · 08/08/2019 11:08

Unfollow is great for this. I have a friend who gushes about her #happyfamily#forevertogether and all sorts of rubbish. In reality her relationship is t great so it’s a bit of a joke really.

RushianDisney · 08/08/2019 11:14

We all know people like this, I just feel very very sorry for them. They are obviously miserable and desperate for any sort of attention, keeping up the drama so they have something to talk about. It is always the sort of person who has no hobbies or interests

LynetteScavo · 08/08/2019 11:49

FB isn't real life though...it's the online representation of what people want others to believe about their lives.

One FB friend went on an amazingly loved up exotic holiday with her perfect husband one Christmas. In January she put their house on the market because they split up. Hmm

Someone else only posts about her DC at Oxford Uni...her other children at regular unis don't get a mention.

Oh and the perfect Christmas's....you never get to see their massive credit card bill the struggle to pay off.

Now I just roll my eyes at people's perfect FB lives.

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 08/08/2019 11:54

I know a similar woman, she is married to a lovely guy that works with my dh and when she is sober she is a respectable, classy woman but my god with some much as 1 glass of wine she changes and has at a few posh events called her dh a cunt/he was looking at others etc etc so embarrassing!

Then she tags us in pics and writes posts about what a good night it was, umm no Sandra not with your attendance it wasn’t.

I just don’t like or comment on any posts or pics from her

magicstar1 · 08/08/2019 12:06

Yeah, that's FB for you. I remember being on a night out and everyone sat bored, barely chatting - it was a crap night. The next day FB is full of post about what a great time they had, "stomach sore from laughing" etc.
Then there's the person who wishes her DH happy birthday / anniversary etc. with loads of gushing about how amazing he is. They fight all the time, and he's not even on FB so it's for everyone else's benefit.

I don't believe most of what's on there.