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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find this annoying

27 replies

MariaVonBratt · 08/08/2019 07:37

Have a few people on my social media who routinely post long statuses with endless pictures of themselves breastfeeding. Talking in great depth about their breast feeding 'journey' and how wonderful it's been etc.

I totally support every mother's right to feed their baby in any way that suits them. I congratulate those who can breastfeed especially for long periods of time (I never could do it) but I just don't get why such a personal thing needs to be splashed all over social media. When does normalising breastfeeding turn into stealth boasting? And why can't we all just feed our kids without it becoming a competition or something we feel the need to broadcast?

For me breastfeeding is to be celebrated and women shouldn't have to hide away but it's also personal enough that I wouldn't dream of splashing photos of myself feeding all over fb - even if I'd been able to. The fact I couldn't makes me feel a bit jealous and inadequate but even I had I still think I'd find this a bit much.

And yes the obvious answer is block or unfriend things that you find annoying on social media but these are otherwise intelligent and pleasant women who I respect which makes it even more annoying!

OP posts:
NotSoFrankly · 08/08/2019 07:38

What’s ‘personal’ about it?

emmaluggs · 08/08/2019 07:42

I agree, I breastfeed, it’s great it’s convenient it’s natural. But that’s what it is it’s natural I don’t need to take pictures and tell everyone about it! I’m in a couple of
Groups on Facebook for breast feeding support and the amount of pictures
I scroll by with an eye roll, usually they are captioned with ‘love how my boobs clam this one down’ good that’s great but just get on with it!

HulksPurplePanties · 08/08/2019 07:44

Because breastfeeding is promoted (quite wrongly) as an accomplishment and something to be bragged about. Like competing in a marathon, or climbing Kilimanjaro.

MrsGrannyWeatherwax · 08/08/2019 07:44

It sounds as though you ‘support’ breastfeeding as long as you don’t have to see it? I’m sure some mums post photos of themselves bottle feeding too, so not sure why breastfeeding is personal as it’s just another method.

I’m sorry you’re still affected by not being able too though Flowers

Original poster
MariaVonBratt · 08/08/2019 08:15

I have no issues seeing it. I fully support women being able to comfortably Bf in public. But there's a difference between doing that and plastering constant photos of it all over social media. It's personal because it's a bonding experience between mother and child (as well as a feeding experience obviously) and not something I would want everyone on my social media to be part of. Terms such as 'little boob monster' and 'the boob' also make my teeth itch.

We live in an oversharing world I get that. I also have no interest in what my fb pals are having for tea or how long their latest map my run was. But for me this is just a step too far.

OP posts:
OoohOnly90CaloriesIllhave10 · 08/08/2019 08:17

as an accomplishment and something to be bragged about. Like competing in a marathon, or climbing Kilimanjaro.

But that's exactly how it feels to some women.

Original poster
MariaVonBratt · 08/08/2019 08:24

It is an accomplishment for some people. But why does every accomplishment need to be all over social media for the likes and adoration of others? Isn't it enough to feel accomplishment within ourselves? Especially something so personal?

OP posts:
lovelilies · 08/08/2019 08:30

It's splashed all over because the women who splash it see it as a massive part of their lives right now, which it is. Some do, some don't. Just unfollow your BF boasting friends for a while if it annoys you

Beesandcheese · 08/08/2019 08:30

This is rather like the it's OK for people to be gay as long as there's no pda. Why don't you stop banging on about how you don't like it online?

WeatherSchmeather · 08/08/2019 08:33

I don’t think this is really about breastfeeding so much as it is about people in general publicising every moment of their daily life (carefully selected and curated as it is). I find social media very strange and avoid it like the plague. I don’t think posting a picture of yourself breastfeeding is a bad thing, but endless pictures would have me wondering what the point they are trying to make is. I’ve been an extended breastfeeder but find it a very personal thing so I don’t feel the need or want to broadcast it. Then again, I don’t feel the need or want to broadcast my life in general. Who cares about my breastfeeding “journey” (hate that term) besides me and my son?

Original poster
MariaVonBratt · 08/08/2019 08:34

@Beesandcheese well it's nothing like that at all really is it? Repeatedly said I don't have an issue with seeing it, I just don't get why women can't get on with feeding their babies however they see fit without putting it all over social media? I'd probably feel the same about any type of OTT PDA photos repeatedly plastered online too. Nothing is sacred.

OP posts:
LeZa · 08/08/2019 09:21

I mean this kindly....but it sounds like you are envious of the fact that you couldn't do it and that is clouding your judgement.... breastfeeding is a lovely thing to be able to do and is for some people a huge accomplishment. Maybe work on trying to be happy for those that are able to do and want to show their friends and family xx

MarthasGinYard · 08/08/2019 09:24

Is this what people post about?

They must have very little else going on, literally.

I'm glad I don't have any of that crap to sift through.

Bookworm4 · 08/08/2019 09:25

I think OP has friends who are likely to be the new wave of mummy’s who carry on like they’re the first person to ever give birth, we probably all know a few; it is wearing and cringey a lot of their behaviour. Even on MN my eyeroll goes into overdrive with some of the posts.

MarthasGinYard · 08/08/2019 09:26

There was another thread a while ago about school reports and cringe worthy quotes....

That's probably them in a few years Confused

Fatted · 08/08/2019 09:33

It's not the BF that would be annoying for me. It's the fact that they're making a big song and dance about doing something that most of the population are quietly getting along with without demanding recognition or praise for it. But that's the problem with social media full stop.

Original poster
MariaVonBratt · 08/08/2019 09:48

@Fatted yes that's what's annoying. Its not the fact that I'm against it or don't want to see it. It's just the oversharing culture of something I view as quite personal

OP posts:
bloodywhitecat · 08/08/2019 09:52

Don't we have some of the lowest breastfeeding rates in the world with something like 8 out of 10 women stopping feeding before they want to? I can see why people are using social media to promote their success.

RedPandaFluff · 08/08/2019 09:59

I agree, @MariaVonBratt - there's something quite sanctimonious about it which I think does the "cause" more harm than good. My cousin's wife (who is a lovely, warm, beautiful person in real life) posted a really long, slightly smug, preachy stream-of-consciousness about breastfeeding this morning. If I didn't know her for the lovely human being she is, I'd have rolled my eyes.

She's snared in one of the MLMs too so there are links to all the nutrition/lifestyle stuff she has to post as well . . . which I feel kind-of undermines and cheapens the valid points she makes.

SnuggyBuggy · 08/08/2019 10:00

To be fair we have just had World Breastfeeding Week

MashedSpud · 08/08/2019 10:03

Social media is mostly “Look at me!” type attitude. I wouldn’t be surprised if people posted photos of their shit with captions like “Exhausted now” with sympathy and praising comments underneath.

Glad I left fakebook years ago. Cafe World made it tolerable.

NotSoFrankly · 08/08/2019 10:05

You keep saying it's 'personal', but it's no more a private 'bonding' experience between mother and child than bottle-feeding is -- not so very long ago, middle- and upper-class women didn't breastfeed their own babies, but sent them out to a wetnurse from shortly after birth until they were weaned and walking. It was just something to outsource.

Like you, I wasn't able to BF (literally no more than a tiny trickle came out, ever, despite months of every possible advice, consultation and medication), and I found it desperately upsetting, to the point where I genuinely found it hard to watch other people BF their babies. But I recognised that this was my issue, and no one else's.

DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 08/08/2019 10:14

I BF DD for 20 months, am trying again with DS (5do) and I would absolutely say that is an accomplishment!
It hurts, to begin with, you're the sole source of food and comfort for some time, and it is quite a wonderful thing to be able to do, if you can.
However I didn't brag about it on social media.

What about people sharing their other personal achievements OP, should a runner not post their finish line shots in case their friends who can't/don't run find it annoying?
I guess it's a case of Like or Scroll past.

HulksPurplePanties · 08/08/2019 10:16

Feeding your child shouldn't be viewed as an accomplishment. It should be the bare standard of child care.

Original poster
MariaVonBratt · 08/08/2019 10:30

People can absolutely post what they like on their social media platforms and I am absolutely allowed to find certain things sanctimonious and annoying. It's not restricted to BF but I've seen a lot of it recently - probably due to it being breastfeeding awareness week as others have pointed out.

For those suggesting that it's my issue due to being jealous that I couldn't do it - there probably is an element of that. But I would find it annoying regardless. It's just not something I feel is necessary or appropriate to plaster over social media.

OP posts: