To think my mum could have helped?

[ajonesy]

I don't know if I'm being completely unreasonable and to be honest I expect to get flamed but here goes.

I recently moved back into my parents house after a difficult break up with my baby DC. Since being here I have still been hands on with my son and don't expect help from family just because I live with them.

Anyway, I've had a terrible headache all day and asked my mum if she could watch over baby (he was asleep) while I had a nap. It's rare that I ask but she said yes that it was fine. Anyway, I'd been lay down for about 10 minutes and I heard DS crying. Next thing she shouts me from downstairs and tells me to come down to tend to him.

I don't know if I have the right to be pissed off at her here but honestly I'm so tired and drained and I have no other help

Mabye she thought you only ment keep an eye while hes sleeping?

That's the kind of thing my DM would do just to drive home the point that she wasnt there to tend to the baby.

I think you need to be pleased she's taken you both in and prepare to be a single parent with no help.

You don't have a right to be pissed off. It's your child, your responsibility .

I'd have helped, but that's irrelevant. She didn't and this is her right.

She shouldn't have offered to watch the baby while you napped if she wasn't prepared to tend to him. That was odd / not very nice!

Hope you get some sleep soon.

@NotSoThinLizzy No, she definitely knew I wanted to have a quick nap while baby was asleep and she said yes it was fine, next minute she's shouting me to get up

I'd also assume she was making a point, and I'd ask myself just how rare is it you ask. Thr little things here and there. They all add up.

You’re not bu, but I guess she doesn’t want to look after him. It’s quite tough on you, but there’s nothing you can do.

Get some fresh air, take some paracetamol, get an early night tonight.

I think she could and should have helped. I hope you feel better soon.

Yes I think as she said she would mind the baby she should have minded the baby! She raised you she knows what to do.
If you were my child I’d be totally happy to look after the baby but I’m not your mum and you’ll just have to accept you won’t be getting that kind of help from her. But accept it otherwise you will make things very uncomfortable.

It seems odd to agree to at watch him, only to then wake you up anyway, surely he was sleeping safely, so the only watching to be done would be if he woke. But then it depends on the sort of relationship you had, my mum would have happily helped anytime with my son, and really enjoyed it.

I would sit down and have a good chat with her and see what's going on. She must have something going in to do this. It's best to get it all out in a conversation rather than her playing silly games to prove a point (again very strange). Maybe she feels "put upon", although i have never really understood that, but again depends on your relationship.

Good luck, hope all goes well with the split,your mum and your DC.
Most of us are stronger than we think. You will be fine 💐

She is possibly establishing boundaries.