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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask you if there is anyone who can reassure me...

1 reply

officecat · 07/08/2019 14:24

I NC for this. I had no idea where to put this, so I thought here, as there is more traffic and maybe there are other mums who have been in this situation.

I will try to keep it short. So not to drip feed, I had to leave a very abusive relationship and I took my youngest son with me (my two older DCs were already off doing their own thing). My only option was to move near my family about 10 hours from my DS's father. It has been four years since our move and it has been very difficult for all of us, especially my DS, as seeing his dad has only been during the holidays.

Anyway, our DS is now 13 and has asked if he could live with his dad, at least on a trial basis. I would like to just say that DS and I have a wonderful relationship, he is open with me and he feels that he can talk about anything with me. I have always been his primary caregiver as his father often worked. Although I could be selfish and easily keep DS with me, my main concern is for his happiness and I am putting aside the relationship I had with his father and trying to focus on DS's relationship with his father.

But I feel sick. I can't eat. I can't sleep. As the departure date approaches, it feels just like when someone passes away and time seems to stop or become distorted, I don't know. Just putting aside the fact that I am his mother, I will miss him as a person, he is the most caring wonderful human being. As I said before he is my third child and I have never tried to keep my children near when they were ready to go, it is a natural part of life, but this is too soon. I love him so much, I am just wishing so hard that his dad will be understanding when this sensitive soul comes home from school and needs to talk.

I'm stopping now because writing this has just hit my eyeballs and I can't see through tears. Are there any other mums who have had to let their DC live with the other parent?

Thank you

OP posts:
ShawshanksRedemption · 07/08/2019 15:05

Has he said why he wants the change, to live with his dad? It is a big change, changing schools, friends as well of course family. With a 10hr travel distance, is it a different country too?

I know with my sisters DS, he wanted to live with his dad as he felt dad was lonely and struggling, and he wanted to support him and be there for him.

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