To be pissed off at DH *lighthearted*

[whoami24601]

Sorry this is long!

We have 2 DS - 4 and 9 months. The baby is bf so I've done pretty much all the night feeds since he was born. That's fine as DH does all the mornings when he's not at work or when he's starting later.

The last few weeks the 4 yo behaviour has gone downhill (I think anxiety about starting school) which has ended up this week with him waking in the night several times and not wanting to go back to sleep. Then the baby wakes up once or twice for a feed. They've been tag teaming me!

DH is a super heavy sleeper and I'm the total opposite so by the time he's awake (but more likely he snores right through ) I'm already up and dealing with things.

Two nights ago I hit rock bottom - I went to bed late (fair cop my fault!) and then big DS was awake at 345 playing in his room. Sent him back but he wouldn't go back to sleep and then was up for the day at 5. Fine, I say, play quietly in your room. Then 515 (just as I'm getting in bed) baby wakes for a feed!

I really struggle to get back to sleep once awake so once DH is up I cry at him not ashamed. He offered to do last nights wake ups so I can get a decent kip. Fantastic! I made a bottle before I went to sleep so all ready to go.

So why am I pissed off? The little fuckers both slept all night!

DH gets the brownie points and doesn't even miss any sleep

AIBU to LTB??

That is just bloody typical isn’t it!!

Mine have done that

Hopefully you had a good nights sleep too

He’s controlling/he’s cheating on you/definitely LTB

But seriously- you’re exhausted. And it sounds like the nights need to be split more to allow you to sleep at night in the same way he is managing to. I’m not surprised you’re still pissed off!

I know you said you struggle to return to sleep once the kids have woken you, and DH snores through. I wonder if he snores through because subconsciously he knows you’ll see to the babes and he doesn’t need to hear them. If that makes sense? Can you put earplugs in when it’s his night to see to your kids?

Mine do this every time!

Sorry OP but that made me laugh.

Did you get a good night's sleep though?

Ah man that is just typical!

In all seriousness though, if DH is a heavy sleeper, he may not have been awakened by DS playing in his room/stirring, left him to it and DS went back to sleep himself?
Because you are a light sleeper, are you perhaps too quick to go to DS when he stirs, thus waking him up fully? Just something to think about.

Of course, it could just be a coincidence!

Ah they're all in cahoots!

I could have written this word for word 2 years ago. Would drive me crazy the nights he was doing all the work they were little angels!

Why do they always do that!!!! 😤

In our house that would mean its DHs night again tonight😋

This OP is known as "The Law of Sod".

I did, at least, get a good nights sleep. Small mercies! I honestly don't mind doing the baby - quick 10 mins and back to bed. But sorting out the 4 year old too is too much. Though I hate getting up in the morning so at least I avoid that! Honestly I think we share the lack of sleep as equally as possible given the circumstances!

Gaaah OP I feel your pain.

DH and I take it in turns to get up with the kids on the weekend.

My turn: consistently between 5.15-5.45
His turn: consistently between 7-7.30

Doesn't matter which order we do it in.

WHY WHY WHY

I would be seething with my children too! It's like they bloody know!
Do the same again tonight, he's in charge- there are no freebies in our house! A quiet word in the kids ears before bed should sort it 🤞🏼

My baby does this! My dh will do a feed after 6am the weekend days he is working. Baby woke at 5.30 and I was so exhausted I pretended that I didn't hear him moving around, hoping it's get to 6am and dh would have to do the feed! It worked though

@whoami24601

'DH is a super heavy sleeper'

Yeah right. Funny how men seem to sleep right through through babies and small children crying, and just don't seem to hear it.

I think YOU need to become a super heavy sleeper too!

Tell him it doesn't count as his night until he gets a bad night

Could he not to one night a week as standard ? Especially as you can prepare a bottle now?

My husband does one night a week as standard and I get one lay in a week as standard also... if he has a bank holiday he will do two.

I only have one baby aged 8 months and that’s night I get not getting up ( teething ) and to sleep in ( get up at 7am instead of 4am ) is the best day ever I get so much done. I still have the benefit of joint ds for naps as he is an only child with two it’s surely more Important you get a break

@bluegirlgreen

Yeah right.  Funny how men seem to sleep right through through babies and small children crying, and just don't seem to hear it.

I get where you're coming from but he honestly is! In one way I am grateful as the children have inherited this gene and would also sleep through a tornado! They slept at my mums this weekend and DS 4 slept through falling out of bed, and being put back in!

Just sometimes it's bloody annoying too! I know I started this thread to ask if I should LTB, but now I feel disloyal cos you all think he doesn't pull his weight!

He does let me sleep in whenever he can, and usually wakes me with coffee and toast in bed. He then keeps the children amused for an extra half hour so I can chill before getting up. I'd rather that than sharing the nights tbh!

Christ 4 YOA and 9 months and they've already learned that boys stick together!