Am I a hypocrite?

[hereforit]

Discussion last night with my friend. I have a 9 month old. Single mum. Said next time I date someone I want it to be someone who doesn't have kids. Last 2 partners had kids. Was always difficult as they didn't live with him, and I have essentially decided I would like to be with someone who doesn't have children.

Apparently that makes me a hypocrite and I'm being an arse for excluding all men with children? (If I met the man of my dreams and he has kids, then so be it, it's not a total deal breaker).

It's not an insult. I have nothing against single parents (I am one!).

AIBU?

No, not being unreasonable at all. I never wanted kids. As I never wanted any of my own, why would I want to date someone who had kids? So I look for similarly childfree people.

You want to look for someone who fits in with your life. Same principle. Of course, like me, you may find it difficult to find that person. Or that person may find it difficult to adjust to you not being available due to sick child etc and may decide that life isn't for them.
But totally not being a hypocrite.

No, I don't think so. I would never date someone with kids (though happily married so moot point) and have plenty of male/female friends who feel the same. Too many complications and plenty of eligible people out there who haven't started families. Although, prepare yourself for the same discrimination from men without kids!

No, not a hypocrite. You have a child who takes up part of your time. If your future partner also has a child, he will need to spend time elsewhere, which gives you less time and more logistical issues in spending time together.

If you didn’t have children. Would you date a man who had? Probably. So it’s a realistic view of how much time you want to commit to a relationship, that’s all.

A bit but I can see where you’re coming from.

But it’s ok for your partner to put up with your dc and potentially issues that come with that eg ex partners, not being able to go out at the drop of a hat, dc having contact with ex and family etc so I can see what you’re friend meant tbf.

I have kids, but when I became single I would have avoided men with young children as I had no desire to be a step mother. It wouldn't have been fair on those hypothetical children.

I don't care if it's hypocritical.

Yanbu. Same as if a man would rather a partner with no kids, each to their own, your own situation doesn't change that.

All good in theory, but I find the men without kids much less understanding of my situation, also I don’t want anymore, I find the odds of finding a childless man who doesn’t want any in the future very low :/

If you want someone who has not wanted their own children, but will be happy to raise someone else's then what's your friend's problem?