Backstory - Hubby left just over 3 years ago to live with OW. DD was then 7, she had to move school to where I work as her dad used to do all school runs & I couldn't afford childcare. Just before starting her new school our dog died so she had a pretty shit summer. It took her a long time to settle in her new school, & even now she doesn't have many friends as she's quite shy & can lack confidence. She loves drama & has joined 3 different drama groups but always ends up leaving after a few weeks. She left brownies & dancing too.
I got a counsellor to come & visit her for 6 weeks, shortly after starting her new school...this did help.
Moving to current day, I'm having problems with her behaviour. She complains about so much & never seems truly happy.
I met my bf 2 years ago, he is a widower with a son (will call him R) 2 years older than my DD10. We don't live together & mostly just see each other at weekends. Every other weekend DD is at her dads. On the weekend she's with me we have Friday night for just us. BF & R come over some time on the Sat & leave Sun pm.
Sometimes the kids play together really well, sometimes they wind each other up - just like siblings.
Lately my DD is telling tales on R a lot, he feels she is always trying to get him into trouble. She says he never gets wrong (he does), & they end up arguing & pushing each other around...often started by my DD.
We are on holiday together at the mo so the problem is seeming worse than usual.
DD has said she wants to start going to her dad's every weekend, or could my Bf & R only come over every other weekend. Thing is when she hasnt seen R for a while she misses him. I took her away for a few days a couple of weeks ago & she wished R was there.
Would counselling help her? Or is this just normal teenage angst and hormones making things worse? I realise she doesn't like sharing me, but I can't just put my life on hold till she leaves home.
Any advice or suggestions gratefully received.
And sorry for such a long post, thanks for reading.