My 8 year old son cannot control his temper. We are a stable, happy household. We have never hit the children and rarely shout. My son has always been full on and hot headed. He is big for his age and very strong. When he is in a tricky situation his response will be to lash out. Today he hurt a similar aged boy at the park - the boy was trying to snatch his football but my son's response was to thump him in the neck. This afternoon he pushed his younger brother in an argument so hard he fell off a chair into a window. He is always really, really sorry after but in the moment he sees red and loses control. I always talk to him about the incident, how we should of dealt with it and the fact he will have consequences. For example, today he has lost his football day on Thursday, something he was desperately looking forward too and lost electronics for the week. I feel awful taking these things away but really don't know what else to do anymore.
We go outside a lot, he has lots of opportunity to run off energy. He eats a very healthy diet and we don't have any processed foods in the house. He has always struggled to manage his feelings, to the point of school raising queries about autism before than later dismissing it. He is bright, capable and happy all the rest of the time, maintains good friendships and is most of the time a lovely boy. He can reflect after how his behaviour was wrong and the harm he has caused and is always eager to make amends. He just sees a red mist when angry and it's like he loses complete control. I am not defending this behaviour at all - he cannot go around hurting other children but I'm at my wits end about how to get through to him and help him manage his anger better, I am terrified he will really hurt someone one day.