to pull out of hen night?

[hereforit]

I haven't paid for it yet. It's one night away and costing £250 (and the rest for gowns, food, and also expected to chip in to pay for the hen). I initially said I would go, but am regretting that as I didn't realise it would add up to so much money. I'm not a bridesmaid, I'm a single mum to a baby and I've never left him on his own before. I initially thought I would express and my mum could have him and he could have a bottle, but I just don't feel comfortable bring so far away from him for two days. Is that pathetic? I know loads of mums are happy being away from their kids but I don't feel ready.

Should I put out? I haven't paid for any of it yet. Scared I'm being a crappy friend and also don't want to miss out of course, but it's all just making me feel anxious.

Being a single mum to a baby whose dad doesn't pay maintenance for is so hard 😅

Of you don't want to go then be honest and cancel.

Fine to pull out, don’t feel bad about it either.

You need to be up front about it and pull out now. Even if they haven't paid anything i expect the accommodation will have been selected based on a price per head and now that's gone up for everyone else as you aren't going. If it is a hotel then might be easier to cancel a room, especially if it has been booked in advance with free cancellation. Much harder though if the accommodation is a house for example. I think you should offer to pay for any extra costs incurred.
In future don't commit to anything before you know costs and set out your budget.

I completely agree with @Daddylonglegs1965 . These events have got way out of hand. I'm hearing of hen nights, hen holidays and hen meals all for one bride, with young women with children expected to pay up to the lot. That is bridezilla behaviour right there.

OP cancel and say you can't afford it. Or, say regretfully you can't be there and no more.

Just don't go. Honestly anyone that gets pissed off because of this is would be an arsehole. It's only a night out!!

@Daddylonglegs1965, i don't see a problem with someone organising the trip of their dreams for their special occasion and inviting friends. They must know that some people won't go, surely? OP didn't mention if she feels any pressure to attend.

I equally have an issue if someone puts pressure on a bride to rein it in so that person can go. It might be her last (even 1st) girly break, let her have some stress-free fun!!

Tell them now, don’t wait too long

@raysan1 we all have differing opinions. On my hen doo as most of my friends already had children I knew they would struggle being away for more than one night in terms of costs, childcare and missing their children. So I organised my hen night to one night away in the UK somewhere two hours away so everyone who wanted to go could afford to go and weren’t putting themselves out to much or in debt too much to go. Similarly when it was my 50th recently I settled for a meal locally in town rather than going somewhere more exotic for longer with just one or two friends. My choice but I think about others before suggesting something that I know some people I would like to go won’t be able to make because of cost, children, work etc.