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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just let my boss deal with this

48 replies

StrawberryCrunch · 06/08/2019 09:59

I am so stressed at the moment.

Work is ridiculously busy, I currently have nearly 500 emails in my inbox that are all expecting detailed responses asap, piles of post and files around my desk and phone calls coming in one after the other.

I have had enough. I have been in and out of hospital over the past few days finding out whether my pregnancy is going to continue or not (possible missed miscarriage). I now have to wait two weeks to find out if it has or not.

A client has called this morning very angry saying they are going to be in the office this morning and demanding to see me.

AIBU to say my boss will have to see them? I am ready to walk out at the moment, am on the verge of tears and will likely end up telling this person to go and fuck themselves.

Not very professional of course but I don't know what to do with myself at the moment, my head is a complete mess from stress at work and the stress of the pregnancy issues.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 06/08/2019 10:01

Can you get signed off for the two weeks? YANBU at all, you sound like you’re at breaking point. Sending all best wishes and hopes for you and your baby Flowers

IAskTooManyQuestions · 06/08/2019 10:02

Please go home, see your GP and take a week or two to catch yoru breath. You must be in a dreadful (MH) place.

Original poster
StrawberryCrunch · 06/08/2019 10:03

Can you get signed off for the two weeks?

I was thinking about this but if the worst does happen I feel like I'll probably need the time more then. I just don't know what to do with myself.

OP posts:
Notnownotneverever · 06/08/2019 10:05

You need time and less stress now. Go to the GP now. Worry about later ... later.

newmomof1 · 06/08/2019 10:06

You can get signed off for as long as you need. Please don't worry about work and take all the necessary time Thanks

And yes, absolutely let your boss deal with it!

Vibiano · 06/08/2019 10:08

Phone in sick

Littlewhitedove · 06/08/2019 10:08

Hi...I'm not sure what kind of business you work in so cannot be any help on a practical level. However first you need to take a few deep breaths and just try to find some calmness. This situation is what it is and nothing is going to magically make it go away. Your boss does need to step up and shoulder some responsibility for putting all these work demands on you in the first place. So...give yourself a gentle hug and start with prioritising what needs to be done and tackle one job at a time. Do NOT answer the phone and put an automated reply on your email to say that you will endeavour to reply to emails within 5 working days.
Your boss must be aware of the situation so lean on them for support.
Above all...be kind to yourself x

Forkingshirtballls · 06/08/2019 10:09

You can get signed off for 2 weeks now and also have your gp extend it if needed. Hopefully you wont Flowers

JonSlow · 06/08/2019 10:12

You get one shot at life - put yourself first. Go speak to a doctor, explain how you are feeling. Then take a few days to get everything straight. You will feel infinitely better for it.

BuffaloCauliflower · 06/08/2019 10:13

Does your boss/HR/anyone with power at work know what’s going on for you right now? If not please let them, they can’t support you if they don’t know. So sorry this is happening to you Flowers

Zebraaa · 06/08/2019 10:19

Definitely get signed off work. Not worth the stress and if you aren’t having a miscarriage, I’m sure this isn’t helping the pregnancy.

Original poster
StrawberryCrunch · 06/08/2019 10:20

Does your boss/HR/anyone with power at work know what’s going on for you right now?

No not fully. My female boss who I work with day to day is on holiday at the moment. The only one here is a man, very nice but I don't often deal with him much and would just find it incredibly awkward to discuss although I suppose it doesn't matter.

He just knows I had a hospital appointment which didn't go very well which is why I was off yesterday afternoon (after my appointment in the morning).

OP posts:
froggybiby · 06/08/2019 10:21

Flowers I wish you all the best. I agree with others, go and see your GP.

TSSDNCOP · 06/08/2019 10:25

The immediate issue is the irate client. Why are they going bananas? Talk to your manager, give them all the notes and ask them to chair or at least sit in on the meeting.

Book a GP appt. Get their advice.

Book a meeting with HR and your manager. Discuss a plan.

It sounds as though, miscarriage aside (and that’s awful enough on its own) you’re drowning. Can you pinpoint the cause of that and maybe even the start of a plan to get out of the cycle?

It sounds as though if you were off, things would be building up and that’s not exactly going to aid your recovery either.

Original poster
StrawberryCrunch · 06/08/2019 10:30

The client is going bananas because they don't think we're working fast enough (they may correct to be honest but we are just so busy I can't possibly reply to everyone straight away). I work in a solicitors office so it's very high emotion for a lot of clients.

Work is definitely one of the bigger issues. There is too much work and not enough staff, everyone is in the same boat but they never do anything about it despite complaints.

Before all this other stuff I kind of just had the attitude of 'whatever, if they don't care enough to sort it out then I certainly don't' but now when I've got the added stress of the pregnancy as well it's just making me want to get up and leave. I can't get stuck in because there's just too much to do it's overwhelming especially when my head is not all here. I just end up sat staring at all the shit around me not knowing where to start.

OP posts:
Nesssie · 06/08/2019 10:32

You need to deal with the immediate problem - go to your boss, explain how overwhelmingly busy you are at the moment, and now have a client coming in and you don't think you are in the best frame of mind to speak to him. Give your boss clear notes on the issue and why the client is angry. Explain you don't what to reflect badly on the company.

Then you need to go through all your emails, can you give some of the workload to other colleagues?

Reply to the oldest ones first - even if its just to say 'Thank you for your email, I apologise for the delay, and will have a response to you by the end of the week/next week' etc

Taking time of sick when you are this behind is not going to help the workload or your colleagues but speak to your boss about how behind you are and ask if any new clients can be given to other colleague whilst you work through your back log.

Original poster
StrawberryCrunch · 06/08/2019 10:39

My boss is dealing with the screaming client thankfully.

I do have an automatic reply apologising that we cannot always reply within X time due to the volume of incoming correspondence but we will endeavour to respond as soon as possible.

But the problem is everyone thinks their work is urgent so it can't possibly apply to them.

OP posts:
eddielizzard · 06/08/2019 10:47

I think you need to find out from your manager what the priorities are and then focus on them for the next couple of days. And tell them, again, that you have too much work to get through and they need to think about hiring someone.

CensorshipHereIsAJoke · 06/08/2019 10:53

Can you get signed off for the two weeks?

I was thinking about this but if the worst does happen I feel like I'll probably need the time more then. I just don't know what to do with myself.

Could you work from home instead and just plough through your emails & post?

That's what I did when waiting to find out what was happening and then during the week of the MC. They didn't expect me to be at my desk religiously, just do what I could, as I explained what was happening.

81Byerley · 06/08/2019 10:55

I'm glad your boss is dealing with the client, but honestly, you sound so stressed, I do think you should confide in him about your situation. You may be very surprised at his reaction. You need support from someone, you should start by asking for it from him.

ohcanada · 06/08/2019 10:55

You need to lean on the support of your boss here, but dumping it on them will only damage relationships, so I wouldn't advise just dropping out.

If I were your boss, I'd like you ask me for a meeting, lay it all out on the table. If they aren't fully aware of the situation or how they you are feeling, they can't help.

Being a boss (and being paid for it) is about giving support and picking up the slack when it comes to dealing with crazy clients, so don't feel bad about needing this extra help.

HelloBrass · 06/08/2019 11:09

I knew you were legal the minute I read your OP. This is so, so familiar.

You need to see the wood for the trees. Print off all the emails and sort through the documents. Send short acknowledgements if you can - people sometimes just want to know an email has been received etc and will then wait for a substantive response.

Match the emails and documents with each file, then line them up where you can see them clearly. Make a list of each file, and the work that needs to be done on it. You can then prioritise what needs to be done and when. The list is easier to look at than the stack of files, but at least then you can locate it easily.

I sometimes spend 30 mins or so dealing with the "quick" jobs. It helps psychologically to cross items off the list.

Take time off if you need it, but I know I would feel more stressed knowing the situation was getting worse in my absence.

I know how shit it is. When you're that swamped, the best solution is to bring in an extra body but we know that's easier said than done.

Wishing you lots of luck and I hope you have a happy outcome at your next appointment.

ohcanada · 06/08/2019 11:10

Print off all the emails is this a legal thing or are you a time traveller from the 90s?

ittakes2 · 06/08/2019 11:11

Get signed off for two weeks - you need rest. Good luck .

HelloBrass · 06/08/2019 11:14

@ohcanada - it's a legal thing. We still have paper files. We haven't reached the heady heights of being paperless just yet.

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