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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Christmas... sorry it's so early...aibu to get my 4 yr old a gaming console for Christmas? 😬

111 replies

Sushi123 · 05/08/2019 23:41

That's pretty much it really...was thinking of Nintendo switch, or preferably something cheaper if anyone has any suggestions...I know pretty much zero about gaming etc

OP posts:
ASundayWellSpent · 06/08/2019 09:47

Nope, not necessary or age appropriate. 4YO doesn't have the ability to use gaming console properly (not talking about how "good" they are, but about limits, it not being real, emotion regulation etc), and it is more the sort of thing I would have thought of for a ten year old

FamilyOfAliens · 06/08/2019 10:10

We started forest school sessions for our children last year (small community primary).

It’s shocking how many children don’t know how to play outside, explore, be fearless about nature and living creatures, and use their imagination when there is no tech around.

User478 · 06/08/2019 10:14

How careful is your 4 yr old? We've sent 12yr old DS's switch off for repairs twice now (at £100+ a go) because he's dropped it...

TSSDNCOP · 06/08/2019 10:15

Doesn’t make any particular difference if it’s a console or a tablet or a phone. None of those things are suitable gifts for kids of 4.

People who buy these products for 4 Year olds have lazy attitudes to parenting. They will not bother to monitor the screen time or content. They will make excuses as to why the kids are playing with them rather than actual toys. The actual reason will be that if the kids are zoned to devices the parents can do their thing.

Vulpine · 06/08/2019 10:16

What happened to Lego and felt tips?

dinkystinky · 06/08/2019 10:17

AT 4 - yes. You'll spend the next decade saying "no you cant play on the console, play with your toys/go outside/do anything else"

Save yourself the trouble for a few more years

Hannahlouise4026 · 06/08/2019 10:22

My son had just 5 in the October and got a Nintendo switch for the Christmas that year. He loves it and plays Mario Kart and Mario Party on it.

Wejustdontknow · 06/08/2019 10:31

We are definitely a tech family, ds13 and ds6 both have ps4’s and iPads, ds6 bought himself a switch with saved money as well this year. I have never had a problem with them being addicted as such, they ask if they can play on them and respect when they can’t but I agree with the fact that they lose the ability to play ‘pretend’ as such. Ds6 is extremely sporty so is often busy with clubs but very rarely plays imaginatively anymore and struggles to play anything alone if it isn’t screen related so for that reason I would say to hold off until he is older

Frangipane · 06/08/2019 10:35

Don't do it. I held out with my eldest until he was 8, by which time he was obviously at school and more conscious of what other children had. From that moment to this (he is now in his 20s) the majority of his leisure time has been spent on one screen or another. I wish I had held out another year, just to have had the pleasure of watching him play with toys another year.

Damntheman · 06/08/2019 10:44

4 is too young OP. At 4 they should be sitting on parent's lap watching computer games like World of Goo or similar if they like gaming.

At 5 they could maybe start holding an xbox/playstation controller but I wouldn't expect them to do much with it. Games like the lego multiplayer series are decent for this but it won't do much for them.

7 or 8 is a much more reasonable age to expect them to have the competence to enjoy a switch in my opinion :)

GruciusMalfoy · 06/08/2019 11:08

I'd avoid it for as long as you can. At four there are so many great toys available for them, kids today are spending far too long sat on their backsides staring at screens.

SheSaidNoFuckThat · 06/08/2019 11:52

Mine have been able to play Wii since younger than that, we also have family game nights and all play together. Fun way of improving hand/eye coordination, just make sure they use the wrist straps!!

SheSaidNoFuckThat · 06/08/2019 11:52

Mine have been able to play Wii since younger than that, we also have family game nights and all play together. Fun way of improving hand/eye coordination, just make sure they use the wrist straps!!

Sushi123 · 06/08/2019 13:41

Thanks for all of your replies and suggestions. He has board games and developmental toys as well as footballs and a bike. He is a very active child and I was not considering giving any of that up... however, in the evenings when I'm making dinner or tidying up he watches his tablet so I just thought I'd swop it for something more interactive. I've no intention of turning his brain into mush or him into a fat zombie lump.

OP posts:
flirtygirl · 06/08/2019 14:09

If he has a tablet then get him more games on that. It's silly waste of money for a 4 year old.

theWarOnPeace · 06/08/2019 15:06

I’m of the belief that games consoles and tablets are completely unhealthy for any developing child. Children are losing their imaginations and social skills. My children don’t have them, but still do well in the various IT things at school, and are very good at coding etc so it really is not like they’ll be miles behind future technology or anything. I just don’t see the point in doing anything mindless when your brain is literally in the midst of a crucial stage of its development. What’s the point? If you’re cooking, have some craft stuff or colouring on the kitchen table?

There’s no good argument for kids being on screens for huge chunks of their day. None at all. People who shrug and just say “oh well it’s the age of technology isn’t it?” And insist that their child is somehow becoming a tech whizz because they play Fortnite and Mario, are bloody deluded.

No founder of any of the big tech companies grew up glued to iPads. You don’t need screens to understand technology, and if go as far as to say they are harmful to our childrens’ creativity.

NaviSprite · 06/08/2019 15:50

Well from a non console hating Mum I’d say if you’re thinking of something for rainy days and such get a cheap 2nd hand Wii console. That way you can get the party games that are multi player and get involved such as Wii Sports, Mario Party, Just Dance etc. Those games require movement and action (just be sure to use the safety straps attached to the controller!) allocate a set amount of time per week to use the console and remain firm about it. I’d avoid a brand spanking new console at 4 because it could very likely get broken or gather dust if your DC doesn’t take to it. Keep it in the living room so you can ensure those limits are kept to.

Oh and to those that accuse consoles of brain rot - I had my first console at 5 years old, Nintendo Entertainment System, then Sega Megadrive and so on. I still went out to play and rode my bike, played with toys, read loads of books, went blackberry picking when the season was right and would spend hours creating my own fantasy world through drawings and writing, helped grow veggies on my Gdads allotment and so on - because whilst my Grandparents (who raised me) were nice enough to get me and my brother the console they were also sensible about limiting our use of it. We didn’t scream about it either, we enjoyed having it but we didn’t immediately become zombies or slaves to the games console...

Studies have also shown that children who spend a small amount of time playing video games can actually benefit from them.

I attribute my still vivid imagination and creativity, in part, to some of the video games I’ve played in my life. Not all of them are shooting/gore fest/violent games.

I’m 31 and still enjoy playing video games to unwind (when my twin toddlers and DH are in bed usually haha). But I also go to the outdoors and do outdoors things 😂

Vanillelle · 06/08/2019 15:55

I wouldn't ever at four - seems like a very young age for something like that when even much older children find it incredibly difficult to self-regulate their time playing computer games.

nanbread · 06/08/2019 15:58

Most of the Silicon Valley parents who work at the big tech co's don't let their children use or seriously limit tech.

Says it all really.

TheGoogleMum · 06/08/2019 16:07

I think I'd be tempted to wait until the child asks for the console. Nintendo is a better choice for kids than PlayStation or Xbox as it has more child friendly games so if you do get one switch is a decent choice (or wii)

mmgirish · 06/08/2019 16:13

Please don't!

Mammyloveswine · 06/08/2019 16:29

My little boy will be 4 just after Christmas...he's getting a bike, small world sets, trains and extensions to his track, some books and probably some simple board games.

Once he starts to ask about a games console I'll dig out my old wii.

Pyperj12 · 06/08/2019 16:31

Get them one if they want one :) my youngest is 5 and he's had consoles for a good few years now, the 3dsxl is fantastic, as is the switch (and the ps4 has good parental controls too.. As long as you make sure they aren't sat on them allllll day, every day, a games console can be used for many education purposes. Can also help with problem solving, and in my case--has been a bonding exercise for my youngest and middle children.

MuddlingMackem · 06/08/2019 16:35

I don't know if you can still get them, but at that age our DC had Leapsters, which were basically educational games consoles - loads of maths and other educational games. Even when ours got Nintendo DSes at around 6 or 7 they would still alternate between those and the Leapster. Our kids had this style, but looks likes there was also a newer GS version.

stucknoue · 06/08/2019 16:35

I seriously would suggest you don't. By 6 or 7 they will start to ask, wait until they want one. Get active gifts, experiences to do together and if you do want something to do screen wise, educational pc learn to read games are far better