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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be pissed off at friend moaning about his YouTube video when so many of us can't go home because of risk of flooding?

20 replies

Flamingle18 · 05/08/2019 23:06

My dc(6) and I were evacuated on thursday from Whaley Bridge and since then have had to stay at 3 different places, living with just the things I managed to grab in the 15 minutes I was allowed back home for. I am not earning as SE. Obviously extremely glad we are safe and so very grateful to the response teams that have worked tirelessly to make the dam safe.
Tensions are high, everyone is tired and very emotional yet the majority of the town have really pulled together and supported each other and helped out where they can. There's obviously been alot of interest as it's not every day something like this happens and you have a chinook flying over your house but I have a friend who has been basically chasing news reporters round, trying to get interviewed and also has been making videos and taking pictures from areas that are classed as a danger zone, not only putting himself at risk but others who are trying to get on with their job.
Tonight he has made comments that someone has posted a video thst he took and has shared it on YouTube as their own. I casually said they must of thought it was a good video and that's why they've shared it (don't do YouTube so not sure on the sharing etiquette!) He then went into a big rant how its his video and he hasn't given rights to share it and how he's now searching news reports and YouTube to check no one else has shared it and he wants money if the press use it.
I feel like telling him to stop being so childish/ insensitive and using this extremely worrying and stressful time for his own SM/financial gain and there are people putting their lives at risk and he's treating it like it's some form of entertainment. I know I shouldn't care but it's really got my back up because I'm feeling extremely drained and fragile and don't know when everyone can go home.
Should I just change the subject whenever he mentions it?

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nothanksbyenow · 05/08/2019 23:09

Yes, change the subject and if he keeps bringing it up I think it’s fine to state that you’re not in right frame of mind to discuss it right now. It’s a very trivial thing against all your very real worries.

nothanksbyenow · 05/08/2019 23:12

Btw, I live a few villages west of you, and someone on the local Facebook page has suggested people visit Whaley Bridge after the dam is repaired to support local businesses which I thought was lovely.

Flamingle18 · 05/08/2019 23:14

I know its trivial and I shouldn't be giving it a second thought but I think its just a build up of worrying plus lack of sleep and tonight I'd just had enough of his persistent lack of thought!

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Flamingle18 · 05/08/2019 23:14

I think that's a lovely idea too! I will definitely making more effort to shop locally!

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nothanksbyenow · 05/08/2019 23:22

He needs to get it out of his system I suppose, fingers crossed he’ll find someone else to moan to! Hope you’re back home soon FlowersBrew

Flamingle18 · 05/08/2019 23:25

Hopefully! And Thank you 😘

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HappyLoneParentDay · 06/08/2019 09:16

I'm so sorry for what you're all going through @Flamingle18
Where are you staying? Are you able to visit your homes quickly at any point to grab anything?

What do you mean by not earning as SE?

Thanks
Flamingle18 · 06/08/2019 09:40

Thank you.
We are now at a b&b that they have kindly let us stay at but before that just wherever we could but that got too difficult as alot of the surrounding roads have been shut off. We aren't allowed into the town at all as some people were signing in with the police to have their 15 minutes but then not leaving so the police have to keep checking on them and try to convince them to leave.
I'm self employed and alot of my clients are in danger zone or the roads to them are shut.

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CruellaFeinberg · 06/08/2019 10:03

He then went into a big rant how its his video, let him rant and then say parklife at the end (Blur)

wheresmymojo · 06/08/2019 10:10

I'd just tell him how you feel to be honest...otherwise he gets to continue living in his little bubble.

You don't have to make it a big deal just say "I appreciate that you feel XYZ about your video but I feel XYZ so can we agree not to talk about it again?"

OhRuddyHell · 06/08/2019 11:06

I don't think you're being trivial at all. He sounds like an attention seeker and very tiresome. I don't see anything wrong with calling him out on it.
Hope you're all doing okay and you get home soon Flowers

Celticrose · 06/08/2019 11:36

We have an expression used here that I would be saying to him. "You need to catch yourself on" in a good Norn Iron accent or maybe just hand him a grip Smile

Witchend · 06/08/2019 11:59

He does have a point though. if it's his video and someone's passing it off as theirs, I can totally see how that's both frustrating and actually I suspect they're breaching intellectual rights, even if not copyright. He needs to contact youtube and tell them.

I suspect that he's using it as a coping method because he's stressed out about it as well.
Personally I'd probably let him vert, but I can let that sort of thing wash over me with a few sympathetic murmurs, and then change the subject.
If you're finding it too stressful, then fine, ask him to can it. You can do it nicely though. "Yes, it's your video and that's rubbish if someone's pinched it. Can you contact YouTube about it because there's no point venting to me because I can't do anything I'm a bit stressed with other things at the moment."

ifpossible · 06/08/2019 12:14

Oh my heart goes out to you. I felt so gutted for you all watching the news - horrendous that you had such little time to leave your life & all you own behind for good potentially. This man is just an attention seeker - you always get one in terrible situations. He potentially put others at risk by staying there. Leave him to it as I am sure you are not the only one who is annoyed with him & probably someone else will snap with him. I’m sure it’s been a rollercoaster of emotions - don’t let others add to it. Hopefully you will get to back to your lovely home again within the next day by looks of the what I just saw & that media interest will die down quickly. All the best Smile

SmartPlay · 06/08/2019 12:15

Only because something else is worse, doesn't mean you can't moan about something shit. Videos are a property like everything else - it's like someone takes a piece of your furniture from your house and sells it. He is in his absolute right to complain about that (and take action against it).

Just as you are in your right to moan and complain and feel bad about your situation, even though there are millions of people in the world who have it far worse.

Flamingle18 · 06/08/2019 21:19

So looks like we can go home tomorrow! I know the video thing was something and nothing and there are worse off people out there but the emotions this has caused have been crazy! I can be fine and then the slightest thing can make me well up!
I told my friend that if his videos being used bother him then he needs to put his name on them and he said he shouldn't have to. I really wanted to say I shouldn't have to be worrying about looters breaking into houses because they've seen on the news that the town has been evacuated but I am because there have been sightings! Instead I took a deep breath and said yes but there are some CFs out there! He has compiled a video of all the floods. I just text back "so upsetting" because it made it all hit home how close it was. He then tried to live video call me from the dam which still hasn't been passed as safe so I rejected call and ordered a glass of wine!

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5foot5 · 06/08/2019 21:34

All the best Flamingle. I have been following this story closely and really feel for you all. I hope you will be home and safe soon.

Flamingle18 · 06/08/2019 22:11

Thank you 💐

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S1naidSucks · 06/08/2019 22:15

Someone who lives close to the village and is on a running site I’m on, has also suggested organising something, so hopefully that’ll help the locals. Glad you’re going back home soon, OP.

Flamingle18 · 06/08/2019 22:43

Thank you. Yes loads of talk about events and supporting local shops etc plus it seems there are a few prints, tshirts, car stickers etc going on sale to raise money for all the services that have helped 😊

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