Annoying "when I was pregnant" top trumps

[clarissa469]

Does anyone else get really pissed off when other mums/mums to be spout how amazingly active they were when they where pregnant and how "all other women milk it, when I was pregnant I vomited everyday even in my sleep and had to walk 6000 miles to work with 5 kids on my back whilst breast feeding and doing the shopping!"

Good for you, Linda.

I'm pregnant and swollen and hungry and I'm not moving for 9 months. This is my first child. Let me milk it.

(Just needed to vent)

Pregnancy can be easy to bloody impossible. A breeze to completely exhausting.

Wait for the birth stories to start... Then it will be feeding sleeping, terrible twos . Etc etc.

Good luck. Enjoy it when you can.... Each stage brings its own good things and shit things and these are different for different people.

People love to give their opinion on pregnancy... unfortunately they are usually condescending arseholes and I hate them all and their 'advice' and anecdotes (I'm pretty sure this is not the hormones talking!😂)... I mean, good for you if you're glowing insert name of perfect pregnant person here, but I've hated every fucking minute of it!

@clarissa469 YANBU most annoying thing ever. Only thing worse is other mums telling you “you’ve no idea what you’ve got yourself in for”, “ your life is going to be completely different now”, “you think 1 is hard try having 2”

I recall being asked in a military hospital after the birth of No 2 why I didn't mix with the other mothers, I had a room to myself, I told her that all they could talk about was bloody babies and stitches! There seems to be an almost Olympic competition, or a version of Monty Python's 4 Yorkshiremen, about who had the worst pregnancy and/or birth.

My sister and sil try this when I need to lie down in the evenings due to my back pain (I also can’t bend forward anymore and so am unable to load or unload the dishwasher so DH does it instead). I have to remind them of the months they spent passing out / vomiting at every street corner because they were too weak to function. Compared to them I am far more active over all.

People like to prove how much easier their pregnancy was, but how much harder babies are. It's so strange.

I got fed up of people saying "you think you don't sleep now, wait until the baby arrives!" well, actually, I'm sleeping much better now with a baby feeding through the night than I was in the third trimester, and I'm much less exhausted than I was in the first trimester. I've never known tiredness like it!

I think it makes people feel superior if they can prove that they coped better than others during pregnancy. The fact is that no two pregnancies are the same. You have no idea what someone else went through, our bodies are all different.

My pregnancy has been difficult but I certainly haven't been a hero about it lol! Doctor has me on bedrest now and I've kept to it. I suppose if I was a better person I'd be climbing Everest right now but here I am in bed eating sweets and cuddling the cat, like I have been doing all day every day for the last two weeks. I just hope you can all keep up with me ladies!

Some people are just obsessed with themselves and their experiences. You'll get this through all the stages, birth, weaning, potty training etc.

My DH does it, if anyone talks about planning a wedding for example, he's straight into the, "At our wedding, this happened, blah, blah" "We did that...etc"
I just want to scream at him, shut up! It's not about you! It's fine to say, "We found it stressful" or recommend a dress shop or something but why not ask about them and their plans instead of endless anecdotes and details about your bloody wedding, no one cares!

Oh god I hated this too. My pregnancy was a breeze until the last couple of weeks and even then it was only difficult because of all the extra appointments I needed - I didn't feel poorly but I had issues iyswim.

My mum does reverse top trumps. Her labours were only two seconds long and she simply breathed us out and she was chopping logs until her waters broke and climbed Everest the day after she had us. She didn't understand why the other women in labour made a noise and screamed. She sneered at my sister for using pain relief and my sister in law for needing induction. She wasn't allowed in when I was in labour

There are only two sorts of pregnancies
(a) I was so sick I was hospitalised
(b) I am mother earth and am goddess like in my serenity

These are followed by two types of birth
(a) 48 hours, ripped to shreds, two miles of stitches and a fanny like a wizards sleeve flapping in the breeze – I nearly died from blood loss
(b) 20 mins start to finish, come out looking serene

This is followed by two types of baby:
(a) colic ridden , never latches and never sleeps and screams incessantly - mastitis
(b) performs according to the manual. Sleeps over night from day one, eats every 4 hours on the dot, 8 ounces

It's all competitive one upmothership

Well, you’ll hate me. Didn’t know I was pregnant with twins until almost 6 months. No sickness, only gained 2kg (at this time - gained another 15 before the end), still worked out 6 days a week. Elective c-section - all went perfect, children only had short naps during day, but slept a solid 6 hours at night from three and four weeks and increased overnight sleeping hours a lot over the next few months. Even with twins I managed to get up and shower and dress first thing everyday.

I understand it’s not like that for everyone and empathise, but the reality is I’ll will never understand why everyone says it’s so hard (but I hide my smugness well 😁)

@ScotsinOz to be fair it's been an easyish journey for me. I keep quiet when the other mums at playgroup are lamenting their lack of sleep and their constantly screaming babies. I get a good 8 hours a night with my 6 month old and have done since she was 2 months old. Before that she used to wake anything from 4-8 hours for food. I'm exhausted, despite sleeping well and don't think it's fair for me to whinge when my friends have had three broken hours in the last week.

I have an exceptionally chilled out baby but I know she will wreak havoc when she's a teenager and I'll regret my current smugness.

But my house is STILL a tip so I don't feel too bad.

I’m 36 weeks and surrounded by the ‘you have no idea how hard it’s going to be’ brigade.
It annoys me no end, like everyone thinks I’m going into this blind!!

I hated being pregnant. Was knackered and sick all the time. Had thrush, a gallbladder infection, jaundice, gestational diabetes, nausea and vomiting and anxiety. Having previously had MH issues I was referred back to my psychologist who told me that at that moment i had to psychological issues, I just felt physically rubbish so was miserable and not depressed. Funny enough I was just so glad that someone acknowledged how shitty I felt. DH was amazing and did nearly all the housework and cooking. My mum never tired of reminding me that I was just pregnant and not I’ll.

@IAskTooManyQuestions pissing myself absolutely spot on

I'm hating the competitive weight gain (or lack of it). "I only gained 1kg when I was pregnant"; "I left the hospital in my size 8 skinny jeans"; "well I actually LOST weight when I was pregnant - had to buy a whole new wardrobe when baby arrived!". Great, good for you. Now fuck off and let me eat my Ben & Jerry's in peace.

KatnissK I lost 3 stone... but to be fair I was 22stone at the start 🤣

I think it’s a pride thing more than anything else. Our bodies are amazing and we tend to learn a lot about our selves (both mentally and physically) when we’re pregnant.
Pain threshold is something I learned about anyway

You will never hear me say anything like that. In fact I think it's a race to the bottom with my friends! Just smile, nod and find new people to chat too. Pick the woman looking green, rocking slightly in the corner and main lining cereal from Tupperware in her bag whilst her toddler rampages around the playground!

Same it's fucking annoying! Wait until the baby's born... then it's birth stories, how more sleep deprived every one is, how terrible twos were way worse for them... bla bla bla.
And that's on top of all the "helpful advice"! Good luck to us all.

“You’re pregnant, not ill” Yeah thanks for that. I’m well aware if I was just ill I’d be able to take something to help with the crippling back pain/lack of sleep/nausea/heartburn etc. My step mum is particularly good at telling me I look like I’ve lost weight. I’m 24 weeks pregnant, and definitely not losing weight. 😏

I had enough of the “you’ll have your hands full” comments from people when I’d found out I was having twins in one day 😩

Then there was the divide between being asked extremely personal questions from women who had never had twins so wanted to know how different it was to a singleton pregnancy... I didn’t bloody know my twins were my first pregnancy! The other side of the divide were those saying that it might be twins but pregnancy is still pregnancy and to suck it up!

I did lose weight in their pregnancy - wasn’t happy about it though because it was due to HG and my body having to take from me what nutrients it could to support my twins growth!

Add to that those who took a morbid fascination in them when they were born extremely prematurely and low weight and the ever constant comment from birth to present day of “I don’t know how you manage/cope” and I’ve decided to avoid other mums for a bit 😂

The worst I had was at a special mum and baby group for premature babies. It was a constant one-upmanship on all things pregnancy, birth and the experience of NICU that I found it really frustrating, one woman was there whose baby was one week prem and got to go home after two weeks NICU stay, she was a lovely woman just trying to get across how frightening the whole experience had been for her. Another woman then had a go at her because her child had been in NICU for a month so she should have ‘considered herself lucky’ - I then chimed in that my twins had to stay for four months but it didn’t make woman A’s experience any less terrifying for her - to make a competition out of something so absolutely gut-wrenching as a poorly baby is horrible. This same woman asked me why my DD was so skinny too, not small or slight, skinny. As blunt as a butter knife and with the emotional range of a teaspoon. I didn’t go back.

I agree. I've had so many pieces of contradictory advice on exercise in preganncy. I was explaining to a relative about how I'm trying to keep up a moderate exercise schedule (one that is increasingly flexible and punctuated with naps) because I've heard there's benefits in remaining reasonably active in pregnancy and despite well meaning input, my midwife is more than happy.

They told me not to bother because:
"you shouldn't be worrying about your weight in pregnancy" - I'm not. I want to retain fitness and the fresh air helps my sickness.
"no pregnant woman is entirely sedentary and we've all been there and got on with it". Followed by examples of things they selflessly did whilst pregnant that aren't in anyway related to what I was talking about.

It's great you boarded out the loft and painted the nursery yourself at 7.5 months pregnant Karen, but that has nothing to do with me choosing to go for a run so please stop dismissing my fitness approach when I'm fitter than you despite being pregnant.

I don't want to say it annoyed me but it annoyed me.

I was very lucky and had easy pregnancies, HOWEVER it’s hard work growing a baby for 9 months, amd I sometimes think the last couple of generations of women have done their sisters no favour with their competitive doing it all when pregnant. I know it isn’t an illness, but I s bloody hard work and can come along with lots of painful and tiring side effects.
Be kind to yourself

I encountered a competitive one when in the 3rd tri of my second pregnancy. I was a few weeks off getting crutches and clearly struggling with mobility. Having gone through SPD before, I knew the way it was going...

I think we stumbled into the conversation by what we do (jobs) I'd said that I was a supply teacher but obviously wasn't working as I was hardly employable in my current state of pregnancy/ poor and rapidly declining mobility. (If I was a regular classroom teacher I'd have had to sit most of the time, be in one classroom and be coming close to having to go on early maternity leave due to constant pain- not viable on casual supply!) She didn't get it and got quite ranty about how she'd managed to work to the end of her 3 pregnancies on her feet all day and wearing a lead apron (radiographer). She was really quite unpleasant that I had the audacity not to work though pregnancy, and fortunately there was no need for me to anyway. Lovely that she kept going with her demanding job. Absolutely wonderful for her. But we are all different. (I wondered if it was just me being sensitive, but my friends were surprised by her attitude too)

Pregnancy/ birth/ babies/ children are all different experiences. You can only tell the story you have, just don't get judgy and superior or dismissive over people with a different experience. The range of normal is vast!

Pregnant women going running at the stage that I was on crutches, brilliant. I'm genuinely pleased they can. Just don't brag that pregnancy is not an illness or judge because someone else's body just won't do it and expect it to be normal for all.