I have a complicated relationship with my dad. For background, My mum left when I was 8 and my sister 12 and we stayed with him, by his choice, he wouldn’t let my mum take us.
He re married and we got on well enough with step mum over the years
We get on well. But clash sometimes. See him once a week with the kids and on occasion as couples with my DH and his DW and he often works for my husband in his business. So all very close etc
He has some good traits and is quite affectionate and makes it clear he cares about us, always posting on Fbook about how cute our kids are and things we have done with them but the reality of spending time with him is very different.
He just insults or criticises the whole time, could be about my weight, about the kids running round , them being noisy, the fact that my house is a work in progress and it isn’t immaculate ( we have ongoing decorating and building stuff despite living here 4 years ) - how he can't believe I haven't got any lounge curtains, why don't we do this that and the other , when are we going to get the drive done, I could go on but spending time with him is stressful because there always something he has to say about something. When challenged he would say I’m being sensitive or he didn’t mean it like that or whatever but either way he’s already done the damage.
My sister and I have had enough and resist seeing him because it basically makes us feel like rubbish.
What do we do? Say something or just cut down how often we see him?