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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not feel as bad as I should?

27 replies

Sweetrevenge · 05/08/2019 19:17

NC as well revenge is never something to be proud of.

Sorry if this is long but back story is needed.

So 3 weeks ago bf of 5 years dumped me via email while I was at work.
Apparently he had not been happy for quite a while. Not that I was aware. We still had sex still stayed over/went out.
No other explanation was offered.

I think for the last 3 weeks I have been in shock as I have not cried or been broken hearted or contacted him.
Today we had to chat by email due to a joint venture we had and I asked him for answers.
I said after 5 years don't I deserve a little more than "your dumped I was unhappy"
He replied "I had reached a point where I did not want to be with you anymore. We are done. You need to deal with it".

I won't lie it hit me then and I am devestated. Truly heartbroken.
He has treated me so cruelly after 5 years of telling me he loved me.

It's my own fault. His ex before me told me he was selfish and cruel but I thought she was just bitter.

Anyway I found out from a mutual friend a few weeks ago that ex has money issues ( yeah he will do cos this idiot paid for everything) and his car in not taxed or mot'd and has not been for months yet he still drives it.

I am so angry and hurt... I reported him anonymously to the DVLA.

So AIBU not actually not feel as bad as I should and that he will get a large fine and his precious car impounded?

I am 41 4 DC he is 46 no DC so its not like we are teenagers. Although I appreciate my behaviour is childish.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 05/08/2019 19:18

Yeah yabu and childish

ooooohbetty · 05/08/2019 19:19

No. Stuff him. Serves him right. Don't feel bad at all.

PrayingandHoping · 05/08/2019 19:19

Wouldn't feel remotely guilty! He shouldn't be on the road!

PrayingandHoping · 05/08/2019 19:19

Wouldn't feel remotely guilty! He shouldn't be on the road!

PrayingandHoping · 05/08/2019 19:19

Wouldn't feel remotely guilty! He shouldn't be on the road!

PrayingandHoping · 05/08/2019 19:20

Not one part of me would feel guilty! He shouldn't be on the road!!

PrayingandHoping · 05/08/2019 19:20

Not one part of me would feel guilty! He shouldn't be on the road!!

Neckercheiftheif · 05/08/2019 19:21

YANBU you’ve only reported him for what you believe to be true! It’s not as if you’ve maliciously made something up!
Hope you feel better GinWineHalo

NeverGotMyPuppy · 05/08/2019 19:24

Nope, perfectly fine thing to do IMO!

Do you have friends or family around you? Someone to go out with and swear about him with?

PrayingandHoping · 05/08/2019 19:26

Sorry! It said it hadn't posted my reply 🙄

littlepaddypaws · 05/08/2019 19:29

he shouldn't be driving, you did the right thing, it will get better for you, be kind to yourself, he's really not worth it.

Sweetrevenge · 05/08/2019 19:30

Thank you everyone.

Yes my lovely friend is spending the weekend with me when DC are with their dad.

I planned a whole future with this man because he promised me that's what he wanted. I introduced him to my DC ffs and I have never done that before.
I supported him financially and emotionally yet 6 months after his big payrise whoosh I make him unhappy.
Wanker.

OP posts:
Janedoughnut · 05/08/2019 19:30

If he doesn't have NOT or tax then will probably not have insurance so getting him off the road is good.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 05/08/2019 19:32

There might have been malice behind your report but if it’s true, he shouldn’t be doing it.

SteelRiver · 05/08/2019 19:36

You've done a good thing, he is a danger to other road users. Don't feel bad about it.

ChikiTIKI · 05/08/2019 19:36

If someone had driven me around in their car regularly without telling me it wasn't taxed and insured I would report it.

What if you had got in a an accident that left you with lifelong physical injuries, and you couldn't claim on the insurance for loss of earnings etc?

I wouldn't feel bad. You're protecting him and other people by reporting him.

Notthetoothfairy · 05/08/2019 19:37

He sounds like a twat. You did nothing wrong anyway, the law is there for safety reasons so you could actually have saved someone’s life by reporting him (a bit like reporting a drunk driver).

Missymare · 05/08/2019 19:44

No I would have done the same why should they get away with no tax or MOT

AcrossthePond55 · 05/08/2019 19:51

He was breaking the law, you have reported it. What's the sin in that? It's our duty as good citizens to report lawbreakers!!!

MarieBaroneIsMyMom · 05/08/2019 19:55

I think you’re being a bit of a hypocrite. He’s been driving around without MOT or tax for several months before you broke up, and you were fine with that?

CrispSandwiches19 · 05/08/2019 19:58

She didn't say whether she knew he had had it for months. She sounds like she wasn't aware.

Blueoasis · 05/08/2019 20:01

He's a twat. Don't feel guilty at all. He shouldn't have been driving around like that. It's his own fault.

Sweetrevenge · 05/08/2019 20:05

I didn't know until a couple of weeks ago when mutal friend said he has money issues. If I am honest I didn't register it at the time I was still in WTF has happened state of mind.
I never went in his car when we were together we always drove mine as his was a gas guzzler. Plus I was either the designated driver Hmm or we got a cab.

OP posts:
justbinthefeckinbyebyebox · 05/08/2019 20:23
Halo

He may have done you a favour, the absolute bastard!!
You did the right thing in reporting him.

FlowersCakeWineCake for your pain op.

MarieBaroneIsMyMom · 05/08/2019 20:31

If you were still together, would you be reporting him?

I’m not saying you’re wrong for reporting him, I just don’t think you can attribute it to anything other than revenge on your part. You’re not doing a good deed for the sake of it.

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