To ask for your help with a tricky work conversation?

[nanbread]

Morale has become quite low where I work recently; people have huge workloads, and the leadership team is stressed and showing it, talking to many (but noticeably not all) staff members in an unacceptably rude way.

Staff are struggling and I know at least some are looking for new jobs.

This may sound normal to some of you but treating each other with kindness is meant to be important to the company and they are at-risk of losing some valuable members of staff.

I care about the people I work with and the company, and I want to talk to the leadership team about the toxic work environment (that they have ultimately created), to address the way people are being spoken to and to restore kindness and enjoyment, before it's too late.

How do I do this constructively, ie get them to change without upsetting the leadership team too much and ruining my own career to boot?

To those mentioning Glassdoor - in some workplaces, it would be very very obvious who'd done that! Where I work (low/no staff turnover, some issues with interpersonal relationships but broadly productive) I would know IMMEDIATELY who'd left the review. Not that they'd be punished for it (and definitely shouldn't be - speaking truth to power and all that) but it wouldn't necessarily make it less awkward or difficult!

1. Don't expect any intervention you make to work. Not instantly, for sure.
2. Recruit someone else at your level so you are a pair.
3. Have a meeting, explaining everyone needs to come so no one gets accused directly.
4. At meeting: 'We've had good people - who we might lose - complaining about senior staff's manners. Can we all sharpen up a bit? Rehiring and retraining is expensive.' Bang on about firm's reputation etc but focus on measurable cash loss of rudeness.
5. 'Rude staff cost the firm money.' Hammer it in.
6. Good luck.

This sounds like my previous company.
The senior management team know they shouldn't treat people like that. They know good people will leave.
They don't care.
They think everyone is replaceable.

And, to be fair, they are. It just puts more strain onto those left behind until they also leave. And rinse. And repeat.

Lots of dedicated, smart people at my previous company tried to change things - staff surveys, constructive feedback, morale improving initiatives. If the senior management team don't care, it's not going to work.

Look out for yourself, the grass isn't always greener, but set some lines in the sand and have a plan for when it's time for you to leave.

I would not say a word. You are effectively firing the bullets for other people. If the Mgt team are feeling stressed themselves they will not thank you for your unsolicited advice, they will just see you as being critical despite your best intentions.

I have been in a similar situation. I was persona non grata for a while and the people who were urging me on backed away. I lost a lot of respect for my peers and senior management.

How many people in the 'leadership team' though? it would be unusual for say 6 people in a leadership team to be running as a pack. You'll find it's one person maybe 2 and maybe the weight of the keeping the company afloat is on their shoulders alone. If you can answer this then an all-staff meeting might help?

Thanks for all the opinions.

Without giving too much away, I'm as much if not more of a victim to this behaviour as any of the others who have approached me.

I have no doubt the management team are stressed, but (drip feed) the company is owned and run by the same people i.e. the managers are the co-owners. So they are in control of the situation, it's not like they've been given a shit hand; it's of their own making. And as I said above the company is doing well.

There is too much work, but they could afford to recruit some more team members, or turn down some work.

Ultimately though, I think people would be OK with the volume of work if the owners were kinder to everyone.

It wasn't always like this; I'd say it's deteriorated a lot in the past 3-6 months.

If they are angry at or even want to fire the people who are on the receiving end, why wouldn't they start a conversation with them or manage them out. They are putting the whole business at risk.

“If they are angry at or even want to fire the people who are on the receiving end, why wouldn't they start a conversation with them or manage them out.”

A lot of companies prefer the tactic you’ve described.

This sort of behaviour is really about culture, and especially values. Poor values are linked to reduced motivation, and hence to lower productivity. HR should know this.

@RosaWaiting I understand why that makes sense for some companies, but it really, really doesn't for this one. If just three or four people left in short succession it would potentially screw them over, be a huge headache to try to fix and put the business at risk.

I honestly think they would be mortified (and yes, probably defensive) to learn how many people are feeling at the moment.

Trickyteens you're absolutely right and the SLT do know this, but seem to have forgotten it. You would not believe the emphasis this company puts on its culture and values - if they were a "normal" co I'd understand, but they really go out of their way to sell how different they are based on these. I think they've just lost their way and need steering back on track.

Ok. If it were me, and if you were in the position to do it (i.e. someone they'd listen to) I'd have a conversation that was all about the positives.

So, DON'T tell them that everyone hates them and that people are considering leaving. Don't list things they've been doing wrong.... That'll just make them defensive.

Instead, think up some positive things "feel good Friday" "cake Wednesdays" "compliment day" [I don't know, sure others could suggest better] and suggest these are implemented in the company with everyone participating.

That way you 'nudge' them towards a change in attitude without actually blaming or criticising anyone.

“If just three or four people left in short succession it would potentially screw them over, be a huge headache to try to fix and put the business at risk”

This makes me think they are doing this deliberately, even more than I did with your first post.

Do you have money invested in the company?

One thing that drives me crazy at work is all this talk of values and behaviours that nobody actually adheres to. I wouldn't mind so much if we didn't have to waste hours and hours every month trying to discuss how to improve matters - always resulting in yet more work for the staff and not the managers.
I preferred it when I could just get on with the fucking work and not talk about our feelings all the time.
Maybe staff would benefit from some clear goals and objectives and a bit of coaching in how to push back when given too much work, learn to get satisfaction from their own achievements and treat any nasty management stuff like water off a ducks back.
Sorry, very grumpy about work situations over the past few years.

@RosaWaiting what makes you think that?

No, no one in the business has money invested.

It genuinely doesn't make sense from a business perspective. To me anyway. I've seen it before and know it happens, but I think this is more likely a case of stress and annoyance and possibly greed, spilling over into unprofessional behaviour.

Recruitment to replace people is difficult, time consuming and expensive. And losing people means work isn't done well or on time plus putting remaining team under massive stress. Which means possible business loss. It's a huge risk.

I estimate that about 25-30% of staff are unhappy at how they are being treated right now, and another 25% are witnessing this and not happy at what they see.

@Beeseeinya I understand where you're coming from.

But many employees actually joined this company based on the values and the fact they didn't act like all the other companies, even taking a pay cut or moving city to do so, so take that away and you may as well work anywhere.

God I hate care companies run like this.

nanbread your comments on how the company positions itself as having positive culture and values makes it sound even more like my previous workplace.

However, actions and behaviours speak louder than (empty) words or spiel. They are not modelling those behaviours. They are hypocrites. Who knows whether they do actually believe in those values, they certainly don't behave as if they do.

If the senior leaders/co-owners are intelligent (mine were!), they know that their actions impact on their staff. They are not ignorant of this and just waiting for someone (you!?) to point this out to them for it all to get better.

It's a job. There are others. If you are impacted adversely, consider your options.

So when they speak to people badly, does anyone call them out on it? What might happen if they did?

You say you won’t speak to HR, why not!?

I also think if it’s as bad as it seems then they know and they don’t care.

I’d encourage you and your colleagues to look for other employment.

People haven't called them out on it, no. I regret that personally, but I've mostly only noticed the ire aimed at me and thought it was personal, I was blindsided by it and not sure how to handle it to be honest so I've done my best to ignore until now. It's been very hard as one of the SLT who is doing it I'd consider a good friend, who has seemingly "turned" on me.

But it's now become clear others have noticed and been shocked by the way I'm spoken to, plus it's happening to more people, not just me. Now I know that, I feel it's time to stop ignoring the problem.

HR is part of the problem, sadly.

Just leave. Honestly. It’s not worth the stress.

You could push back a bit but I don’t think it’s worth it.

I don’t think any kind of pre prepared statement will work but what would happen if you called them out next time they were rude to you? You don’t need to be aggressive about it - just a do you realise how that sounded type of comment. If they care then they might change and if they don’t you’ve got your answer.

i think you've got to just suck it up, and tell one/some of the leadership team.

what's the worst that could happen?
that you get made redundant/managed out?
sounds like you're already considering leaving, so what's the difference.

give them the opportunity to make a change.

if they can't/don't want to, then you've got your answer.

but i will say, like PPs, don't count on anyone to back up your assertions.

3 or 4 occasions now i've been in similar situations, and when people have the opportunity to speak up, they invariably don't.

seems a lot of people are happier being miserable and bitching in secret.

Just leave. Honestly. It’s not worth the stress.

I wish it were that easy... I've applied for a few things but no interviews yet

nan no you’re right it’s not a great market to be job hunting in.

I would start a log of every unprofessional thing and encourage others to do the same. Speak to ACAS or your union and you might have a case for a tribunal.

What’s the percentage of those who are disgruntled and those who are not?