To say this is unfair and feel so down?

[Sotiredofthislife]

Name changed. Single parent for an extended period. Ex has only paid maintenance when the CSA got an Order of Sale and Possession Order for his house. He is self employed so with time (and no doubt with advice) managed to reduce his liability to £0 a week and when we were switched to CMS, I didn’t bother to open a new case. I was dreadfully bitter about money, he has gotten away with nothing short of child neglect, and I found some peace in no longer chasing the useless system and just managing alone. The letter that says he has £0 liability means so much and I keep it to one side to show the children should they ever ask - what I want is to be able to prove to them he pays sod all when he inevitably tells them he gives me a small fortune.

There is a small amount outstanding and I have today received a letter saying they are writing it off. I feel like I’ve fallen off a cliff. Why does our Government think this is OK? Why are our children so unimportant? Why am I left to do this all on my own, take all the shit about being a single parent, and he gets away with paying nothing at all?

I am in tears at this today. Why can this not be sorted out?,

Op, take rhe emotion out of it. The bottom line is you can't get bloood out a stone and if they rhink he has no money and no chance of getting any then they cannot force him to pay.

If he is lying then that would be something you need evidence of, but it would seem he's proven he is basically penniless.

I’m so sorry.
The father to my kids did exactly the same thing once he went self employed 10 years ago. He hasn’t paid a penny since. It sucks.

Now my kids are 19 and 15 and they see him for the irresponsible loser that he is.

It’s hard doing it all by yourself. Give yourself a little time to get pissed off and angry, then put it behind you and refuse to let you or your children be the victims.

In years to come, they will know who cared for them.

He is not ‘basically penniless’. But I guess expecting anything better was too much.

Bookaholic - thank you. I am just so tired. I work so hard.

This baffles me. Here in the US non resident parents are expected to pay a certain amount whether or not they claim to be able to. They can't just say 'I don't earn anything' and get out of paying. They're expected to go and get a job, or two jobs if necessary. If they don't pay they can (and will be) sent to jail. I have single mum friends for whom this has been a lifesaver. It just seems like the UK system doesn't give a shit about the resident parents left living in poverty.

My eldest DCs father hasn't contributed in 14 years - quit his job when DC was 2 so he didn't have to pay.
My DC has no contact with father (fathers choice) and CSA at time wrote off back payments. My son now sees his father for what he is without me saying a single word against his father.
Take pride in what you've achieved without his financial assistance and that you can say to your dcs 'I did my best' for along time I resented dcs father for the lack of financial emotional and physical support - however I realise its not worth it and can say I alone supported my DC and take pride in that.
It gets easier.

The system in the UK fails single parents (nearly always the mother) and their children. If the non resident parent ( nearly always the father), is self-employed or unemployed they can get away with paying little or nothing to support their child.
I've been asking myself the same questions you're asking for 13 years and the only answer I can come up with is that the government doesn't give a shit about women.
You have every right to be angry.I wish I could say something to comfort you. I report my XP for tax evasion every year but nothing has happened so far.There are no winners in this because eventually the children judge the father who has never bothered to support them - everybody loses.