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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to ask for your help?

2 replies

Helpmehelpmysister · 04/08/2019 23:29

I really need some help, and I've seen so many professionals/knowledgeable people on AIBU I thought I would post here for traffic.

My DSis 16 and I have different mothers. I'm now married with Dtwins and live in a different county to her in a 2bedroom house (this is relevant).

She rang me in bits earlier, as her mother is an alcoholic and is insisting that Dsis hands all over her small wages over to her (despite getting benefits as she is still in full time education).

She's bagged herself a summer job but has to pay out quite a lot in bus fair every week to get there. Her mum refuses to let her shower after work as it uses to much water, won't let her use the washing machine, won't buy her clothes/sanitary wear and doesn't go food shopping. She pays her own phone bill and buys her own essentials and food. My Dsis normally eats at friends or her boyfriends but they're all on holiday with their parents.
She's very intelligent and hard working and has got herself a place on at a really good college to do her a levels in September.

She is desperate to move out and applied for student accommodation as she lives an hours bus ride from her college but has been denied. She can't move in with me as I'm even further away from her college and our local ones don't offer the qualifications she needs to go to uni.

What can we do to help her move out aged 16? Where do we go? She's worried her mother will turn violent when she tries to leave, as she threatened to hit her earlier. Our father passed away when we were children so we don't have the option of her going there. Please give me some advice, I just want to get her out.

OP posts:
dollydaydream114 · 04/08/2019 23:56

Social services need to be involved here. If your sister is being threatened with violence and denied basic care like showers and sanitary products and access to a washing machine, that is an abusive situation. She's still legally a child and this is abuse and neglect.

Helpmehelpmysister · 05/08/2019 00:01

@dollydaydream114 they have been called in the past and just paid a home visit and left again, how has always been beyond me. SS were my first thought as well. I think I'll have to contact them. I'm so worried.

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