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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can I give this as a wedding gift?

44 replies

PAWeddingGuest · 04/08/2019 21:43

I’ve NC for this in case anyone recognises me.

One of DH’s best friends is getting married, the bride is a very selfish and rude person who has managed to offend most of the grooms friends in one way or another, including me.

Both bride and groom have always been anti-marriage, it’s only a bit of paper types so we were surprised when they announced their engagement. She’s written on social media tonight that she’s only getting married to get cash gifts to go on an amazing holiday, to be fair I’d assumed this was the case based on things she’d said previously anyway and the twee poem requesting cash in the invites.

DH has said he’s only going to the wedding to support his friend because he doesn’t think many of their other friends will go, and if it was anyone else he’d have declined the invite.

The groom is a real foodie while the bride definitely isn’t and is a really picky eater, she only eats a few very specific things. Would we be unreasonable to give a kitchen gift, I was thinking an engraved mixing bowl or personalised cheese board so only the groom would use it?

OP posts:
SecretLimonadeDrinker · 04/08/2019 21:45

I say go for it! We've actually gotten someone who is a big cheese fan a personalised cheeseboard and they loved it! 🧀

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 04/08/2019 21:46

Don’t be a bitch. Just give them the money you’d spend on the cheeseboard. They’ll probably find that weddings are expensive and you’re unlikely to even break even on gifts.

chocolateworshipper · 04/08/2019 21:46

Now I know that I SHOULD say YABU, but I would do exactly the same. How about a gift voucher for a restaurant that the groom would love, but she would hate - then maybe he'll take your DH?

Aquamarine1029 · 04/08/2019 21:47

She’s written on social media tonight that she’s only getting married to get cash gifts to go on an amazing holiday

I would NOT be attending this wedding, and I wouldn't care what my husband thought about it. If he wants to go, fine, but not a £ of my money would be going to buy them anything.

Original poster
PAWeddingGuest · 04/08/2019 21:48

@TestingTestingWonTooFree I know that’s the right thing to do, I really do, but I’m just fantasising about how much it would piss her off.

OP posts:
Sunandrainallconfusedhere · 04/08/2019 21:49

So wrap a travel plug and a suitcase tag....

VeThings · 04/08/2019 21:49

I’d think she’s trying to be funny about the reason why to get married - bet it’ll cost more than she’ll get in cash gifts (unless parents are paying for it)

Original poster
PAWeddingGuest · 04/08/2019 21:50

@VeThings sadly she’s not trying to be funny, she has said in the past the only good thing about getting married is the presents and she wasn’t joking.

OP posts:
SandAndSea · 04/08/2019 21:53

Couldn't your DH sort something out for his mate? I would leave it to him.

UnmentionedElephantDildo · 04/08/2019 21:55

I completely get the urge.

But you shouldn't get random items unless you are close enough to someone to know they'll like it despite express wishes.

But you could give them John Lewis vouchers, or similar, if you want to nudge them towards something household-y (though it'll probably be spent on holiday prep things)

catzrulz · 04/08/2019 22:02

Definitely a foodie gift the groom will appreciate, I'd not get it personalised though. When the groom comes to his senses he won't want a cheese board or whatever with her name on it.

Original poster
PAWeddingGuest · 04/08/2019 22:12

@catzrulz That’s a good point!

OP posts:
Grumpyunleashed · 04/08/2019 23:17

If groom is a foodie then perhaps a voucher / gift card for a good restraunt.

Pipandmum · 04/08/2019 23:23

It’s your husband’s friend he should choose the gift.

BloomingHydrangea · 04/08/2019 23:24

No, nothing engraved. We said no gifts and got loads of personalised tat

You cant give it to the charity shop and as we found out it doesn't burn in the woodburner

CocoLoco87 · 04/08/2019 23:32

Definitely a cheese board. Write in the card it's for when she's really grating on him...or when she leaves him and there just a pile of de brie left...or you've gotta take the gouda with the bad. If she doesn't find it funny, ask her if she's laughtose intolerant.

I'll get my coat...

SandAndSea · 05/08/2019 01:06

I would also hate to get anything engraved. Don't give anything that can't be easily donated to a charity shop.

SandAndSea · 05/08/2019 01:08

... Or otherwise transferred or recycled.

Ellmau · 05/08/2019 01:19

What about a voucher for a special meal on this honeymoon? It would be a bit more subtle.

OneHanded · 05/08/2019 02:03

You win @cocoloco87 Grin

VenusTiger · 05/08/2019 02:22

Just comment on her bf post the only reason we’re coming to your wedding is to spend time with your husband to be and then chuck just a tenner in a card

VenusTiger · 05/08/2019 02:23

*FB not bf

Purpleartichoke · 05/08/2019 02:37

A cheese board or maybe a salt plate.

Lolyora17 · 05/08/2019 02:44

This reply has been deleted

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bambalaya · 05/08/2019 03:07

Go for it