Argh bloody stupid thumbs! Posted too soon.
Anyhoo- I have multiple issues related to breathing which are gradually worsening and will limit my life expectancy quite dramatically. I have 2 DC who were both born severely prematurely because of my physical condition and I'll never get over that guilt.
DH is amazing. He's my rock and would think nothing of doing every single household chore, plus all childcare plus working full time. I currently work 4 days a week and run a successful business from home. The day I'm not working I can only have 1 DC as I can't physically manage 2.
But this isn't what I want. I had DC to be a mum, to play with them and cook for them and pick them up and cuddle them. As it is, I feel faint and breathless from simply picking one of them up and have to quickly sit/put them down.
My illnesses are completely invisible but life threatening. A recent asthma/respiratory flare up saw me blue lighted straight to resus and dropping SATs.
I'm not sick enough to be at home full time and claim PIP, I have to work. My business pays our childcare bills and is essential to us managing. But my god, tonight I'm just fed up. I'm constantly exhausted, fatigued and feel like a terrible mum/wife.
There's sod all anyone can do and I just feel like a rant, but does anyone have any tips for dealing with the crushing mental lows that come with chronic illness?