Ex partner mrs

[aintnutinchanged]

First time poster (long time lurker lol) me and my ex have had a falling out about him not taking his children as much as he could be so his gf decided to get involved by phone texting etc telling me I was out of order and I had no right saying stuff him bla bla bla, so I have now decided that I only want the children to be at his house whilst he is there (not having her look after them without him being there) can I do this or am I being a witch

It's your reasoning for it. You're doing it to lash out and making yourself look like a dick

Genuinely no. You can’t stop him and you would be unreasonable to do so.

She is in their life, despite the fact you don’t get on - maybe try and see it positively that she wants to spend time with the children.

My problem now is our youngest doesn't want to stay there because he doesn't get on with her girls

How old are the kids?

As it's school holidays, did the gf have something lovely planned to do with the children today? Were they looking forward to socialising with other people seeing as you've admitted you're a bit of a recluse?

If so, then yes, you are acting like a bit of a cow!

10 and 11

@usersouthcoast nope she was just sitting in today

@aintnutinchanged yes but the only reason you want him to drop them off is so that she doesn't look after them. If she hadn't have called you up I bet you would never have said that.

She shouldn't have got involved but there's no point making it into a big massive petty war. Children are in the middle.

@usersouthcoast I don't mean I sit and hibernate all the time though the kids do get out and I often take their friends when I can too

@WhenISnappedAndFarted yes I guess your right if she hasn't called name calling I wouldn't say anything but the fact is she did and I suppose I am just really angry at her

They are 10 and 11 and you have never left them with anybody at all?. They probably don't want to get up before he goes to work.

Surely you are only hurting yourself by doing this and you are setting up your ex with the perfect excuse to ditch the kids at the drop of a hat.

I suppose I am just really angry at her

Totally understandable. You can’t bring the children into it though. Don’t potentially affect their relationship with her.

@sweeneytoddsrazor my dad took them before (me and ex were still together) but sadly he's no longer with us and other than that the kids are with me (unless at their dads)

@JacquesHammer I wouldn't jeopardise their relationship (as in I wouldn't say anything to them about what's going on) but our youngest boy doesn't like going to his gfs and her girls hit him and annoy him etc

Why do you get to dictate everything? He is their father and has as much right as you, stop playing games with the children's lives. When he is meant to have them, what they do or do not do is their choice. Similarly, what you do when the children are with you is your choice.

He is an adult and also capable of deciding what is best for his children. As for this girlfriend, it may be she's happy not to provide free childcare, but what goes on between them is their choice, you need to back off.

You will only create issues for yourself the pettier you behave. Be an adult and deal with things in an amicable manner.

The hitting and annoying your son is a completely different subject that needs addressing.

if she hasn't called name calling I wouldn't say anything but the fact is she did and I suppose I am just really angry at her

You're perfectly entitled to be really angry at her but as an adult, you should be capable of being really angry whilst not dragging the DC into it.

@WorraLiberty yeah apparently I am an idiot because I take he work of a 10 and 11 year old that the girls are lifting hands etc so I'm basically pissing against the wind with that too