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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I within rights to be cheesed off.

25 replies

Sagradafamilial · 04/08/2019 18:47

Boyfriend just back from 5 day holiday with his mates last weekend.Spent a night with me midweek. Got a last minute ticket to a sports competition in London for today. We were due to spend the weekend at his . The event meant him staying away for two nights as he wanted to spend a night with friends (drinking is my best guess) AIBU.We only meet twice a week usually with an irregular Saturday night too.Together nearly 14 month.he lives 4 hours away from London.

OP posts:
Neverender · 04/08/2019 18:51

Would he care if he knew you were upset? If not then there's your answer x

Original poster
Sagradafamilial · 04/08/2019 18:55

He would care but he would still go as tickets were hard to get and he supports the team

OP posts:
Original poster
Sagradafamilial · 04/08/2019 18:59

Thanks.Does anybody else think I’m over reacting please?

OP posts:
Wheelerdeeler · 04/08/2019 19:01

He's just not that into you.

envelopeofpubes · 04/08/2019 19:02

It’s a one-off sporting event. Unless you were planning to do something specific and special YABU. If he does this all the time, that’s another issue.

Skittlenommer · 04/08/2019 19:04

I wouldn’t mind if my husband did that. He’s always popping off spontaneously as am I. We have a lot of freedom in our relationship but I think if you feel your time together overall is lacking then that’s something you need to address with him.

ThatssomebadhatHarry · 04/08/2019 19:04

He’s just not that into you. It sucks but such is life. Move on and up.

TinyMystery · 04/08/2019 19:04

If it’s a special sporting event and you didn’t have anything special planned, I don’t really think he’s being unreasonable.

Original poster
Sagradafamilial · 04/08/2019 19:04

There were no plans to do anything special but he has been in holiday and away a helluva lot this summer.
Just not with me.I am feeling frustrated

OP posts:
NoBaggyPants · 04/08/2019 19:05

Have you suggested going away together?

Original poster
Sagradafamilial · 04/08/2019 19:05

We don’t live together so we only get together twice week.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sagradafamilial · 04/08/2019 19:10

Yes but I work in Saturdays so it’s difficult plus he always seems to have plans in his own life.

OP posts:
NoBaggyPants · 04/08/2019 19:11

What relevance has that to going away together? You don't have to live together to go on holiday.

NoBaggyPants · 04/08/2019 19:12

You sound quite dithery. If you want to make plans with him then tell him that. If you just want to hang out with him then accept that more interesting things will take priority.

cottonwoolsnowmen · 04/08/2019 19:20

I couldn't get that worked up tbh. If you want to do more, arrange it.

Lifeisabeach09 · 04/08/2019 20:19

I'd be annoyed too. He clearly is prioritising time with friends over you. After 14 months in, and considering you only see each other twice a week, he should be making time for you.

Is he worth waiting around for?

Sirzy · 04/08/2019 20:21

If my partner got the chance for tickets for a hard to come by sporting fixture he wanted to see I would be actively encouraging it unless we had something unmovable planned.

Kaykay06 · 04/08/2019 21:46

Make your own plans be unavailable when he asks honestly don’t hang around waiting for a guy to want you. If he wanted you around he’ll let you know sorry if that’s harsh. I’m sure he does but if you had made no plans then surely it’s fair game that he’d take these tickets. You are also capable of going out/seeing friends or whatever too.

Just enjoy yourself don’t spend your youth hanging off a bloke who isn’t that bothered. You’re worth more and show him that, it’s hard but a guy who wants to be with you will be with you

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 04/08/2019 22:49

If it was the Community Shield then I think YABU. It's once a year and if he's a Liverpool fan then I don't remember the last time they were in it so would have meant a lot to him.

mycatisblack · 04/08/2019 23:04

Thankfully, my DH and all my previous partners have zero interest in sport or going drinking with mates. This is the honeymoon period of your relationship so if he's dropping you to go out with his mates now, it's not going to get better.

Is this what you want?

summersherewishiwasnt · 04/08/2019 23:06

What do you want him to do now ?
What do you want from him?
Some people walk through life with you for a short while, enjoy it for what it is right now.

summersherewishiwasnt · 04/08/2019 23:08

The first couple of years are usually the best it’s going to get.

Original poster
Sagradafamilial · 06/08/2019 11:23

I’m not sure . The weekend has been and gone and while he is back ,he ha not called to see me and has no plans to call today either .

OP posts:
Original poster
Sagradafamilial · 06/08/2019 12:21

Anyone? He thinks I’m being too demanding

OP posts:
Blobby10 · 06/08/2019 12:26

@Sagradafamilial it sounds like you both have different ideas about your relationship. If you are only seeing each other twice a week, he could be thinking its really casual so has no qualms about choosing friends over you. Then he comes to you for sex. You on the other hand sounds as though you are more invested in the relationship.

What do you want? If you want a formal relationship it sounds like he isn't the one. He just doesn't sound as committed as you are. Sorry

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