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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to make DS have this sleepover

29 replies

AnotherMarrogFromMars · 04/08/2019 17:55

DS (13) has a mate from nursery school who he used to see a lot all through primary (although they were at different schools). This child has learning difficulties and ADHD. He's a really lovely boy, and I'm very fond of him. DS and he were good friends till they were about 10.

DS and this boy have grown apart. DS has a lot of new friends; I suspect the other boy has fewer.

The boy's mum has asked whether her son can come and stay with us for two nights. Her DH is ill, and there are few places the son is willing to go to stay. I immediately said yes, as she was desperate.
Now DS is very cross with me. Although he can understand the idea of helping out (he's usually very considerate and lovely - or he was till he hit adolescence), he thinks I've put this on him unreasonably. I've said he can do what he likes, and that I am hosting the boy (e.g., I can take him to the cinema without DS if DS has plans). DS says it doesn't work like that and that if he's here then DS will have to entertain him.

WIBU?

OP posts:
AnotherMarrogFromMars · 04/08/2019 22:01

Thanks again, all, for being nice about it and also for the ideas about how to consider DS better in it.
I've had a chat with him following lots of your suggestions, and he's less cross with me now. He does say that I should ask him in future (although I suspect he may often say no, and them we may argue...). And actually this relates to him being very conscientious about his duty to make sure his friend has a good time and is looked after.
Anyway, thanks again - this was very helpful Flowers

OP posts:
BoneyBackJefferson · 04/08/2019 22:49

Teacakeandalatte
I don't think you should have to check with your ds and I would tell him I am disappointed with his attitude if he keeps it up.

Why? It directly effects him don't his feelings count?

As for telling him you are disappointed, A healthy dose of emotional blackmail goes along way.

BarbedBloom · 04/08/2019 22:55

I think fine providing he can continue with pre existing plans and he doesn't have to share his room. I really wouldn't have been happy at that age to have to share my private space with someone who wasn't family or even really a friend anymore.

KylieKoKo · 04/08/2019 23:00

OP you sound lovely. I think this will be a valuable lesson to your son about putting others needs first when they are in need

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