Toilet cleaning

[Yarwell60]

I'm a grandmother, not a mum, with serious health issues, and since last October we have had to get a 'cleaner' to keep on top of the place - i.e. she washes up, changes beds, vacs through, does the bins/ recycling, does the washing and ironing and cleans the loos and bathroom, and she does a basic Aldi shop for us once a week. She makes me a coffee, and my lunch, takes to/fetches from the surgery, as I can't drive atm. In other words, she's very flexible and helpful, and she's more than a cleaner. It's also nice to have her in the house, as I'm housebound for now. All good, so far, you'd think. BUT she openly admits she doesn't like cleaning (!!), and my husband can't really tell if she's been that day. She works 8 hours a week, which we can just cover with my ill-health retirement pension, and in that time I would expect it to look pretty sparkling or at least fairly. It's obvious she likes variety, so she's helped me sort the dining room out, did some sewing for me once, dropped things at the post office, has even mown the lawn. I tried to get a clearer picture of what she is prepared to do - i.e. could she use a step stool to reach the window by the sink? (always splashed), reach the tiles in the bathroom? the kitchen cupboard fronts? as I end up doing these after she's gone, but the main thing is she tells me she thinks we should ALWAYS clean the toilet after we use it. My husband has been my full time carer, plus works full time, since October and he can't always brush the loo as he dashes out to work, when he has just got me my breakfast. I always try to brush the loo, as I know it's not a nice job for her, but I'm really very ill, and can't always manage it. Unfortunately, she's very deaf, which means it's really hard to discuss anything properly, and I think she doesn't understand a lot of what I say to her. Also, I suspect our working arrangement is too loose, which is why I tried to address the problems last week. Despite being poorly and dependent on her, I am still paying her, after all! AIBU expecting her to clean the toilets when necessary?! What do you think?

I think your husband needs to step up with the toilet cleaning tbh rushing for work doesn't make it acceptable to leave a shit stained toilet for somebody else to clean.

It's obviously different for you as you have health issues and can't use the toilet brush, would keeping some bleach accessible to swill around the bowl be a possibility for you?

I'd also definitely make a clearer arrangement possibly in writing so you can make your expectations clear. Maybe 3 hours a week cleaning with a detailed list and the other hours to be used as needed for various errands each week?

For the loo, treat it with bleach as soon as its soiled and it won't need much brushing. However, if you have employed her to clean she needs to clean! That includes loos. If you like her and she's trustworthy I suggest making a list of 'must dos' and any other jobs by arrangement.

No-one should expect another human to clean their skids off a loo unless they are physically unable through age or disability.

Your dh ibvvu not to clean up after himself every time.

You or your husband can surely just leave some bleach and use it as necessary?

However you have bigger problems as she’s not cleaning.

Also, I don’t understand being squeamish about toilets. Rubber gloves, a swirl of bleach, leave 10 mins. No problem. My cleaner has never even mentioned needing us to clean it first.

I do keep them clean but cannot be guaranteed that my 5yo hasn’t been in afterwards.

We have our cleaner for 2 hours and she does a full house clean excluding bedrooms in that time. She quoted be an extra hour for the bedrooms (5) to give you a guide. Add an hour for laundry/sheet change, an hour for shopping, plus time she spends doing other things for you - ironing etc 8 hours seems fair enough to do a good job, but your dh needs to be doing "daily jobs" in between, bleaching loos, vacuuming if you have a pet, wiping down work surfaces etc, the things we all have to do despite full time jobs, kids/caring responsibilities and extra health issues.

I help an elderly lady and find the Harpic tablets (in a box) are great for her to use on her own - they do keep the loo pretty clean.

How dirty is your loo?

I’d agree with others - put bleach in if someone leaves a skid.

I think there are several things going on here. She's perhaps not the greatest cleaner, but it sounds like she does an awful lot more for you. My grandfather had a cleaner who was fairly mediocre at cleaning but did a huge amount for him day to day, which ended up being much more important. So I think it might be a case of working out what your priorities are. Most cleaners won't ferry you around, make you lunch, take stuff to post office. If that stuff is important to you, I'd be inclined to accept some of the other stuff.

I've got clients who leave a toilet skiddy. They don't have a loo brush and by the time I get there each fortnight its quite baked on. I bleach it but if there is any left it stays there. They haven't complained but if they do, tough.

There's absolutely no excuse for skid marks to be left in the loo. It takes seconds to deal with. I'm disabled and have a cleaner and would be mortified to leave skid marks for her to clean.

From what you have written she may not be the best at cleaning but she sounds amazing and does so many other things 99.99% of cleaners wouldn't consider doing. I guess it depends on what is more important to you - a pristine house or your current arrangement? I guess the alternative would be finding a better cleaner and hiring a separate home help.

Two issues here.

It is disrespectful to leave shit stains for someone else to clean up. It takes seconds and not much effort. Even my kids would not dare do this. I would expect a cleaner to clean to toilet otherwise though ie giving the seat/handle/rim a scrub and wiping the dust off the lower part.

She admits she hates cleaning and you feel she doesn't do a great job. Though the other tasks she does have a value and are things a cleaner would not do.

Why not keep her on for x hours as a carer/general help to deal with specific tasks but absolve her of cleaning and get an agency cleaner to do that.