First post, long time lurker, I am not sure how to post new topics so apologies if this is in the wrong section. I am so miserable at the minute. I am a divorced mum of 2 sons. I have been a single mum for 10 years. Ex husband abandoned his sons about 7 years ago. No contact, nothing. This was around the time he got remarried. He was her 3rd husband. I warned him not to tell his sons it was her or them, but he knew best. Needless to say they are now divorced although I have no sympathy for him he chose to walk away. My eldest son is an adult, autistic and struggling with life. We have had the usual fights for services, made harder by the fact I had to do it alone. Endless meetings, Statements, EHCP, DLA and onto the dreaded PIP. Universal Credit etc. I am a nervous wreck at times ! Youngest son doing well and seems happy. I never thought I would get divorced, I stayed in the marriage as long as I could, but my ex was starting to drink really heavily, he is ex military. On more than one occasion my sons witnessed his abuse towards me and had abuse directed at themselves. He was too clever to actually beat me, it was more along the lines of mental abuse. Throughout the years, I am really struggling to find anything positive about myself. I started suffering with horrendous panic attacks, insomnia, weight gain, anxiety and was diagnosed with PTSD. I just feel that I am useless. I hate looking in the mirror, in fact there is one in the house, it's small and round and in the bathroom so my sons can see to shave themselves. I have no direction in my life. I have no sense of purpose anymore and I feel like I have completely lost myself. I feel like I on a pity party with myself but it's so hard to find motivation at times. Maybe I just need a cyber kick up the bum?