Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not taking his mobile phone out with him ...aibu to be annoyed?

55 replies

whatajoket · 04/08/2019 13:31

My lovely dad is getting on a bit.
He lives alone.
He is still fit and healthy and gets all over the place but obviously I worry.
He has a mobile and never takes it out with him.
He just uses it in the house.
Today I'm ringing and ringing and no answer ..so obviously I worry.
Have to go to he's to check on him and I have a spare key.
Get there he isn't in and his phones on the coffee table.
I mean come on ..how hard would it be to put his phone in his pocket to save me panicking and having to rush across.

OP posts:
newmomof1 · 04/08/2019 14:22

Oh but if he did trip and bang his head whether or not he had his phone in his hand would make no difference... he wouldn't be able to call you.

Crispmonster123 · 04/08/2019 14:23

Only on mumsnet is 74 not old

my2bundles · 04/08/2019 14:26

74 isn't old. My parents swim 30 lengths a week. My dad has an allotment and rides his bike every day. They go on 15 mile walks every week and care for elderly neighbours. They are not old.

Jemima232 · 04/08/2019 14:27

Only on MN is 74 not old

That's because it isn't.

NCforthis2019 · 04/08/2019 14:28

Deal with your own anxiety.

Jemima232 · 04/08/2019 14:28

BTW CrispMonster how old are you? 18?

TwistyTop · 04/08/2019 14:30

You clearly have anxiety issues. I'm sorry to hear that, it must be tough, but it's not your dad's fault. People of his generation don't tend to have their phone glued to their hand, I think it's quite normal for them to leave it behind if they go for a walk.

You said yourself that he's in good health and independent. Don't smother him like this - he should be enjoying his freedom and health! He won't have that forever.

adaline · 04/08/2019 14:31

He's only 74, not 94. He's perfectly capable.

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 04/08/2019 14:31

How often do you try to call him? Could he be a bit fed up of being tracked?

Mrsjayy · 04/08/2019 14:34

My parents don't have mobiles I get it is quite frustrating for you and as you say you are a worrier, but he doesn't have to take his phone with him if he doesn't want to You are going to have to find a way round this it isn't fair on you or your dad.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 04/08/2019 15:01

Your update about your mum makes your anxiety much more understandable. That must have been horrible, and clearly you are still suffering from the impact.

But still, it is your issue to deal with, you know that. You need to keep on tackling or your anxiety will take over.

(My mum's first husband died in an accident when they were travelling home separately. She arrived home and wondered why he wasn't there yet... For many years afterwards she would get extraordinarily stressed if we were late home (pre-mobile days). She has 'recovered' to a more normal level now but it did take years.)

Crispmonster123 · 04/08/2019 18:19

The average life expectancy for a man is 80 so to say 74 isn’t old is silly

Crispmonster123 · 04/08/2019 18:20

I’m 45 btw

my2bundles · 04/08/2019 18:25

I don't know any old 74 year olds. You are as young as you feel.

my2bundles · 04/08/2019 18:27

I will be 74 in 28 years. I still feel young. So no 74 is not old

lljkk · 04/08/2019 18:32

I'm sorry I can't say this kindly.
I'd be pissed off if I was being pressured to take my phone b/c of someone else's propensity to worry unnecessarily. The worry is your problem, not his.

DrDetriment · 04/08/2019 18:37

YABU. Leave the poor man alone. He's not a child and is perfectly allowed to leave his phone at home.

Mammajay · 04/08/2019 18:48

I rarely take my phone out but if my daughter explained that she gets worried, I would take it. But I would not want phone calls whilst out - too intrusive- but texts are OK. Talk to your dad ( apologies if you have..haven't read the full thread).

cheeseislife8 · 04/08/2019 18:49

My Dad also often forgets to take his phone out with him, or leaves it in the car/pub/people's houses. It's just not on his 'going out checklist' like it is for younger generations

Mammajay · 04/08/2019 18:50

60-70s is a really weird age. Hilary Clinton, Trump, Corben etc but some people can be much more frail.

Original poster
whatajoket · 04/08/2019 19:08

Yeah my dad is deffo not frail.
He looks early 60s
No one believes he is in 70s
He walks every day.
Does his wallpapering,painting etc
I'm just silly

OP posts:
TheRLodger · 04/08/2019 19:14

He’s from a generation where people simply didn’t have mobiles and so it’s not the same type of habit. He was in his 50s when Mobile’s became so widespread

Also, how would you have coped in this predicament say 20/30 years ago when mobiles were not a thing

Mrsjayy · 04/08/2019 19:26

74 is older age isn't it ? I don't know why posters are saying it isn't why are we afraid of ageing? We can feel 21 all we like but we are all getting older.

chickenyhead · 04/08/2019 19:33

@mrsjayy

I think it is because OP said...

He is still fit and healthy and gets all over the place

It doesn't reflect any age related difficulties in particular, so age is just a number.

LadyRannaldini · 04/08/2019 19:41

Our generation don't have the same need for an electronic umbilical cord.
I have my mobile, it's often not charged unless I'm going out, mainly because it's useless in the black hole in which we live!

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.