DH & I can't agree on DS first birthday

[tabbycat985]

I would like to have a small buffet, with cake & homemade photo booth so that we can make a photo album for DS.
There will be roughly 12 people attending plus a couple of babies (all family).
DH wants to use his parents house as it's more spacious but it's also a 40 minute drive which some of my (older) relatives wouldn't be comfortable with. This would lessen the numbers essentially making it pointless to use PIL's house & means there would be people missing from the photographs.
We could rent a room but we'd have to pay for the hotels catering & it just seems less personal/silly for the number of people.
AIBU? Do I just suck it up & rent a room?

Here is a photo of my daughter's first birthday party - it may be the only one we took. In the garden. Relaxed.

His "more space" argument becomes a bit ridiculous when it will actually exclude members of your own (therefore your DSs) family from attending though doesn't it?

It's a 1st birthday, why is it all about the adults?

Stick with your idea, seems like that will be nicest and best for your DS.

people missing from the photographs.

How very OTT.

How very OTT.

Only if you place less importance on family than you do what it looks like.

Personally I think family relationships are far more important than surroundings. Especially when you're 1!

I think you have had a hard time of it op for a very sensible approach to a one year olds party. The most important thing is getting everyone there that you want, pictures last a lifetime. My kids love looking back at early birthday parties where we all squeezed in the house. As they get older this type of party doesn't happen as often.
Agree could stagger it as a opwn house but in my experience they still all turn up together.

@hostofdaffodils wtf is the man behind your daughter wearing???

Could you do a few "parties" ie small one at yours for your family and let MIL host the in laws side? Still have the photos without everyone physically being together. My DS 1st we took him out me DH and DS then small meal at my mums and DH mum with extended family at both? Three cakes 🎂 win win

Sounds like your husband and/or PIL's want it at their swanky place.

I'd say the baby doesn't want a 1hr 20 round trip on their birthday. Have the do at yours and then have the next day at the PIL's wanky swanky house