AIBU to think that all teens/children don't know what they want to do as a career?

[Milicentbystander72]

I think this post is more to get this off my chest.

I have a dd14 and a ds12. They are relatively happy children. Dd does drama a lot through school and is learning guitar. She sees her friends, loves cinema and plants etc.

My ds does Scouts and every year does a stage production that includes singing, dancing and comedy sketches. They rehearse every Sunday for 6 months. Ds has lots of friends that he sees but is also happy on his own doing drawing and writing his own comics.

Neither of them like sports.

Recently all I've heard in the past 6 months from family and friends is people asking what they want want to go on to do after school.

Friends and family with dcs similar ages have recently told me their children want (collectively) to be Policemen, Doctors, Nurses, Sports Physiotherapists, Navy Officers, Graphic Designers, Dancers, Engineers.
Now, I think it's great if their dcs have an interest and a desire already to do something specific but people have given me a really surprised look when I say my dcs don't know what they want yet. My eldest has just chosen GCSE options she likes and is fairly good at.

Please tell me they're not so very unusual? Is it really the norm for your dcs to know what they want to be when they grow up at this point?

It's getting me down a bit. It's like I'm doubting myself.

Some do. Some dont

Some teens know what they want, and go on to do it.
Some teens know what they want, and later change their mind.
Some teens don't know what they want.

If doing A levels you can put off 'knowing what you want' for ages. By studying what you enjoy & are good at there is a good chance it will lead you to a suitable career.

More of an issue is for the less academic who need to pick a vocational course / apprenticeship for after GCSEs.

My DD1 didn't have a clue when entering y10, and my DD2 doesn't really either.

Mine don't and they are at uni. They know what they'd like to do but they don't know what they'll actually do.

Most don't. How can anyone possibly know what they want to do in the future at such a young age, with no life experience? It's with the benefit of hindsight that most of us can see what we should have/would like to have done. Besides which, most people will change careers during their life and many jobs of the future don't even exist yet! Don't worry at all op!

Mine does at the moment, but she will change her mind I'm sure. Her preferred career is based on her perception of cool rather than reality and as a fairly unmotivated teenager, it's not looking likely.

Most don’t. Or if they do it will change ten times between now and actually doing something.
I wanted to be a commercial pilot at 14 and I don’t even like flying! Then a vet, then a teacher, then a policewoman in Bermuda... needless to say I did none of these.
Bet you most 30 year olds don’t know what they want to do either!

I did from a young age but I've always had a very particular interest. Most people don't know!

My DP is coming up to 40 and still has no clue what he really wants to do!

I'm still waiting at 54 to find out what I want to do... rather than drifted into

Some kids know what they want to do from an early age.

Some kids think they know what they want to do but will have another idea next week.

Some kids have no idea and might work it out eventually.

It takes some people until their mid-20s before they're settled on something.

Most don’t, and nor do many adults: hoe many people do you know who have remained in the same career or industry all their working lives or who plan to?

I think it’s very limiting to expect or encourage children to decide on a career path before they even understand that the working world is far bigger than they can conceive. They know of common professions like doctor or solicitor or chef. They know nothing of the huge range of other jobs which exist.

I would say most don’t and it’s a fortunate few that do.

I loathe the constant pressure of knowing what you want to do with the rest of your life that comes from schools and family.

We’ve got one who knows, one who can’t decide between a couple of directions and one who’s regularly changing their mind.

If I remember I’ll come back in 5 years and let you know how it ended 😊.

Our expectations are that they make an effort with school exams to ensure they can optimise their future options - treat them like stepping stones. After that, it’s up to them to find/create/wait for opportunities that they want to take advantage of.

I work in strategic finance and change management with a housing association, for example. I find it interesting and fulfilling and it gives me a good salary and quality of life. How many 16-year-olds have a clue it’s a job option that even exists?

Responses so far are very reassuring thanks.

I am an over-thinker but the 'shocked' look on their faces when they asked what my dcs want to do (especially my eldest)....really upset me. It's happened lots now. It got me thinking my dcs were already some kind of wastrels .

I didn't know what I wanted to do exactly until after Uni. I'm still doing it at 47 and quite successful.

My dh is 52 and is even considering a career change

My dd has a flair for English, History and creative writing however at the memory I'm finding that only STEM subjects seem to be valued amongst her friends parents etc and even my extended family.
I think I just need to stop thinking too much!

Memory = moment

I didn't have a clue till I'd left uni. But to be fair, most kids won't know most jobs exist. Unless it's something like a doctor or a vet or a teacher. How is a kid going to decide they want to be a project manager or an accountant or an insurance broker? they just aren't exposed to those things.

I agree that’s it’s a small minority who know what they want to do and end up actually doing it. I think our education system isn’t geared up for this though and being able to give up subjects and concentrate on others through school and university limits future opportunities. We shouldn’t expect kids to focus on science or arts based courses. I like the US idea of majors and minors and not cutting off subjects too early in case there’s a change of heart.

I knew exactly what I wanted to do at 12. And then changed my mind at 16. I now do a job that I had never even heard of when I was 12. (I’m an actuary.)

Dh does a job that didn’t exist when he was 12 / 14. (He’s a web / app developer.)

As your friends and family seem to respect STEM then perhaps you could smile smugly and say “with the speed that the world is changing so many jobs will be obsolete by the time Lizzie and Lucy leave university and many of the top jobs then don’t exist now. We are encouraging them not to think too hard about jobs now as we don’t want them to miss out due to making the decision too early.”

I would think only a small minority know at that age! I'm 39 and still don't have a clue.

I have a dd who is 14 and will start her GCSEs in September, she's chosen subjects she enjoys but she hasn't got a clue what she wants to do when she's older. She said that she feels pressure from school to know what career path to take, we've just said to her not to worry about it and that there's no rush.

I'm.mid 30s and have never had anything I wanted to do. Not one thing has every struck a chord with me. My sibling on the other hand loved a sport but was told by the career guidance woman that it was a ridiculous dream to aim for that sport and he "needed to chose something else that was practical", so that killed his dream for many years. If your kids have things they love doing, maybe they'll try and make money out of it when they're older. But myself and almost all my friends never went for a career - we just worked what we could.