9 year old taking 5 year old to park

[Tinydancer08]

Aibu? When in care of his kids my ex let's our 9 year old daughter take our recently turned 5 year to the park on her own. He lives a 5 min walk from the park but the park is situated on a busy road beside the main shops. My daughter is a worrier and my little boy can be hard work. Am I be unreasonable about this as I can struggled sometimes when out with him.

Yanbu

Have you spoken to him about this?

I would not be happy with that.. too much could go wrong and it's not fair on 9yo. I am ok with giving 9yo a bit of responsibility when Playing in the garden or at home but not at a park by roads and shops with an at times.
Difficult to manage 5yo. Yanbu

Yes I told him last time it happened I wasnt happy and didn't want it happening and he agreed. And then it's happened again

God no! My children are that age, no way would this be happening

Nope. Very Unreasonable bordering on dangerous.

Not sure what you can do though.

I'm sure this is wrong. I'm not a parent. It just makes me sad as I recall my older brother taking me, along with our neighbourhoood friends, to the park. I was always barefoot. I always seemed to burst my toe open. He always carried me. I understand now why that was unsafe, but no harm came to us and those days form such great childhood memories for me.

There isn't much I can do. As he said he will do what he wants with them while there in his care. I'm just so annoyed

No way! The 9 year old should not be responsible for a 5 year old in any circumstances, especially the ones you describe

I have a 9 and 5 year old and there’s no way I would let them go 5 mins to the park together.

Can you get advice from nspcc or social services if ex refuses to stop letting them go?

My children are that age and there's no way I'd leave DS1 in sole charge of DS2 - and DS2 is pretty easygoing and compliant. He may say he can do what he likes when they're in his care, but I'd wager social services or a court would disagree. It's neglect, and you should report him.

I am genreally a relaxed parent and think children should be independent. So generally I would allow that (and even encourage it), if both children are rather responsible, tend to behave as they should and the way there is safe.

However, in your situation, with your younger one not fitting the description above and a busy road - no, I wouldn't.

Can your 9 year old say no? Will he respond to her not wanting to go the park with him.
If he'd accept her not wanting to go and she doesn't want to take him, then it may be worth empowering her to talk to him.
If you think he'll take it badly from her, then obviously don't. Work on park safety with both your kids, and give her strategies to help manage your son.

I am a slack parent, and would allow a 9 year old to take a 5year old to park, if it was extremely local. But definitaly not in circs you describe.

Has he done the journey with them a couple of times, pointing out potential difficulties and helping them to get it off pat?

They would know the journey as I do the route a few times a week with them. But he's dropped them home and I've asked him not to allow it again and he's agreed. So we will see how it goes

Thank you everyone aswell. Its good to know I'm not on my own in my way of thinking

Not at all, it seems like too much responsibility for the elder one to have to be constantly watching the younger.