Why do I still want him when he treated me badly?

1 reply

WhyIsItMe · 04/08/2019 08:48

Split up with bf about 6 weeks ago, I can’t stop thinking about him or wanting to be with him. But the thing is when we were together he didn’t treat me right so I know it’s for the best we aren’t together, so why do I still want him!? It’s driving me mad.

I always felt like I was a convenient option for him, he fitted in seeing me when he didn’t have anything better to do. He wouldn’t make any effort to spend time with me or talk to me. I also found out he was still talking to other women on dating apps after we’d talked about being exclusive. I feel like there’s something wrong with me for knowing all this but still wanting to be with him.

I asked him if we could talk last week (I know that’s fucked up) he said no and now I feel so sad about everything again, I cry everyday and then get annoyed at myself because I know I should want better. I think it’s the promises he made of what i thought it could be that I miss so much but even that I know wasn’t true so how do I stop feeling like this?

I’ve deleted his number and blocked fb now so I won’t be contacting him again.

OP posts:

Ellabella989 · 04/08/2019 08:53

I’ve had a couple of relationships like these and now that I’m in a very happy one I could kick myself for wasting so much time and energy on those idiots who just destroyed my self esteem.
When your self esteem is at rock bottom it can often seem better to be in an unhappy relationship rather than no relationship at all. I would get lonely and very needy when I was in that headspace. I would also be desperate to “have what I can’t have” and would try and change myself all the time to get them to like me more.
You have done the right thing by blocking him. It will be hard but try keep yourself as distracted as possible and after a few weeks you’ll feel less sad about it all. Don’t look at his social media pages either as it will drive you mad. And trust me when I say it’s FAR better to be alone than to be treated like shit and made to not feel good enough. Do you have friends you can spend some time with?

Flip