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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not want to be told how to drive?

8 replies

pebblemix · 04/08/2019 01:41

I’ve been driving for many decades now, all over the world, and I’ve never ever had an accident. I drive a lot. Everytime we go on a long distance car journey my OH starts passenger seat driving. Telling me that traffic is slowing down ahead. That I should move lane. Rocking back and forth when he thinks I should be putting my foot down etc etc..I flipped today after over an hour of constant low key instructions/verbal driving comments. It’s like having a driving instructor next to me! I asked him to please stop dictating to me how to drive. It’s not the first time I’ve had to ask this. Today, when I asked this, he became stroppy and insulting. Told me I wasn’t paying attention, which I was but I do end up frazzled after listening to him dictate whilst I’m trying to concentrate. It’s frustrating because I’ve driven competently for so many years. He’s the one who has had previous accidents! Anyway, it ended up in a huge row because I’m sick to the back teeth of being spoken to like a child and told what to do in that sort of situation. I wondered if I’m BU and it’s a normal thing that people comment on each other’s driving when in the car together?

OP posts:
Weenurse · 04/08/2019 01:44

I left my husband on the side or the road in rural Tasmania for this very reason.
YANBU

pebblemix · 04/08/2019 01:47

Thanks weenurse. That made me smile after a crappy day. Why do they do it? Has yours got any better or does he still do it?

OP posts:
TheseThingsAreFunAndFunIsGood · 04/08/2019 01:49

Yanbu! My Dp does/did this and a couple times I've practically screeched to a halt and told him fine he's driving and then just chilled out in the passenger seat; I refuse to drive him hardly at all now (& the odd occasion I do he keeps quiet!). If I was you I would either do the same or if you don't want to not drive just kick him out of your car and tell him to make his own way from a to z. No way should you have to stand for that!

vodkaredbullgirl · 04/08/2019 01:50

I would have stopped the car and told him to fucking drive lol

Weenurse · 04/08/2019 01:53

Actually he has got better, we live 800 km away from family so share that drive a lot. So better with back seat driving but he fiddles when driving.
DC picking up on his fiddling with things while he drives.
Middle aged men more likely to be distracted while driving in recent studies and this drives me nuts.
The disc player in his current car is in the passenger side glove compartment so he can’t change discs any more while driving.
I prefer to drive when it is distance and we swap once we reach the city .

gamesanddaisychains · 04/08/2019 01:55

I feel your pain. My OH has yet to realise that the reason I don't volunteer to drive is because is because of the constant criticism of my driving - he wants me to take risks that I wouldn't even consider, and it does affect concentration - I feel your pain. I just wish he would shut up

gamesanddaisychains · 04/08/2019 01:58

Sorry for the repetition, that will teach me to preview!

SimplySteveRedux · 04/08/2019 02:01

and I’ve never ever had an accident.

The one time I crowed about this, I had (recently) an accident the next week!

I hate back seat driving too, reaaaaaaly pisses me off. Wish I had an eject button sometimes....

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