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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to leave council flat for private renting? 5 in a 1 bed flat.

539 replies

Hereforhelp · 03/08/2019 23:04

Hi. So I was housed a 1 bedroom flat with council when I was 7 months pregnant with my first child. Now theres 5 of us in the same flat me, dh, dd 5 yrs, DS1 3 yrs and DS2 4 months old.

Dh and I are both employed, him full time me part time (currently on maternity leave) & don’t receive any sort of benefit.

The plan for our family increase was to return flat and private rent somewhere bigger but now private rent have massively increased £300 more than it was 2 years ago 😅 so that plan failed, leaving us cramped, in a 1 bed 🙃

We’ve tried to talk to council but according to law we’re not overcrowded as living room could be used as bedroom too and according to my room measurements each room can fit up to 2 adults (that’ll be 4 kids in each bedroom as they count a kid as half an adult).

Shall I hang in here and hopefully be rehoused after couple of years or stretch our finances and rent privately? People are calling me mad to be thinking of giving up a council home & I’d hate to give up the security of our home tbh but we are so desperate!!

Has anyone here left a council home for private renting? Or has anyone got a success story of getting rehoused due to overcrowding?

OP posts:
Nixen · 04/08/2019 07:15

I think you should go privately rented, it’s not the councils responsibility to bail you out of your crap decisions

SimplySteveRedux · 04/08/2019 07:22

The lack of empathy on this thread is incredibly disheartening.

TalentedMsRipley · 04/08/2019 07:23

I would rent privately tbh, you sound like you both earn enough. I was in private rented for 10+ years and never got kicked out. Not once.
I think it's a no-brainer?

Notthebradybunch · 04/08/2019 07:26

Why on earth would you keep having more children when you live in a 1 bed flat? There is a serious shortage of council housing, privately rent and stop expecting the council to house you because you put yourself in this position smh

neveradullmoment99 · 04/08/2019 07:26

Wow..some utterly unbelievable responses to the OP. I am shocked.
If it were me, I would stay put. Push the council into getting you a larger place. Get a local mp involved in your plight. You are seriously over crowded. For now I agree you should put the kids into the bedroom and a sofa bed for you and your dp in the living room.
Mumsnet is so depressing because it shows through reponses what a fucking shit society we live in.

adaline · 04/08/2019 07:27

The lack of empathy on this thread is incredibly disheartening.

But OP put herself in this situation. It's not like they ended up in a crowded one bed because someone lost their job or because she had triplets - she chose to keep having children knowing she didn't have enough space.

My empathy is with the children who didn't choose to be brought up in crowded conditions. Parents need to take responsibility for their DC and how they're housed - if you don't have the space, stop having children!

I don't why that's such a controversial comment. It's of course different when people's situations change and they have no choice but to move somewhere smaller - but OP knew she didn't have the space before getting pregnant and still thought more children would be a good idea!

neveradullmoment99 · 04/08/2019 07:28

Why on earth would you keep having more children when you live in a 1 bed flat? There is a serious shortage of council housing, privately rent and stop expecting the council to house you because you put yourself in this position smh

A totally AWFUL attitude.

adaline · 04/08/2019 07:29

Push the council into getting you a larger place.

But there aren't enough council places to go working - that's the entire point. OP had a
small flat with very little space, knew she had nowhere else to go and still continued to have more children.

Why is that the councils fault or responsibility?

Nothingcomesforfree · 04/08/2019 07:29

Stay.

I despair of the sanctimonious “don’t have children you can’t afford/house,/look after”. Who sets the standard. A one bed would have been considered absolutely fine with three tiddlers 100 years ago. Luxury to some in other parts of the world now.

Don’t privately rent till after Brexit.

FrumptyLumpty · 04/08/2019 07:31

We gave up a council flat due to shit neighbours and no outside space. Even though we were overcrowded (property too small before we moved in), we knew we could be stuck there for years as not a priority despite DS2 having special needs that qualified him to have his own bedroom and we're well outside London.

We've been in our rented house for over 5 years now. A few worries about Landlord selling up making us homeless but it's been fine and much better than where we were!

A relative of DH's held out for over 10 years for a bigger council property. Her DS shared a studio room with her and her DH until he was 10 before they were moved to an 8th floor flat and he finally got his own room but really, who wants to live in an 8th floor flat with a kid!

I'd try and find a property yourself privately in your position.

slipperywhensparticus · 04/08/2019 07:31

Cant you buy? If your earnings are above the threshold for benefits and you only paying for a one bed dont you have savings?

SimplySteveRedux · 04/08/2019 07:34

she chose to keep having children knowing she didn't have enough space.

OP hasn't even detailed the circumstances of her pregnancies. For all we know the third could have been a contraception fail.

Bluntness100 · 04/08/2019 07:37

The lack of empathy on this thread is incredibly disheartening

There would be plenty of empathy if she couldn't afford to private rent. They can. They are choosing to live like this for no other reason than to cling on to their council house.

Ad what's appalling is those urging her to stay. There are families in bedsits, people who genuinely can't afford to private rent, and there are posters on here urging someone who can to say fuck them, you cling onto your council house, fuck those that need it when you don't.

That's what's appalling.

adaline · 04/08/2019 07:37

For all we know the third could have been a contraception fail.

They'd still have had two children and two adults in a one bed - which while it might be acceptable for young ones it's not great as they get older.

Why don't people take responsibility for their choices and actions anymore? I don't get this attitude that it's someone else's responsibility/problem to solve.

SimplySteveRedux · 04/08/2019 07:40

They'd still have had two children and two adults in a one bed - which while it might be acceptable for young ones it's not great as they get older.

Which is a good point, yes, and would have required a solution as they grew.

SimplySteveRedux · 04/08/2019 07:45

Ad what's appalling is those urging her to stay. There are families in bedsits, people who genuinely can't afford to private rent, and there are posters on here urging someone who can to say fuck them, you cling onto your council house, fuck those that need it when you don't.

I live in a property with stairs. I'm in a wheelchair, DP is blind. 50 falls and 18 A&E admissions this year. Waiting over two years for a suitable property (bungalow/flat) so you could say I'm in this situation.

I just don't get the point of demonising the OP, yes it's a dubious moral decision to,bring a third child into the environment, and to simply expect rehousing. My stance is that giving up a secure tenancy with Brexit about to royally screw everything up would be an irresponsible thing to do right now. Once we know what's happening with Brexit, private renting could/should be on the agenda.

Whitney168 · 04/08/2019 07:49

'Shouldn't have had so many kids then SHOULD ya?' What a truly nasty thing to say. hmm

I can see why it's an uncomfortable truth, but it's a truth nonetheless. It can't be a surprise to anyone that social housing is at a premium?

OP, yes, obviously you should give up your tenancy and go in to private rented accommodation - an increased house size doesn't seem to be on the horizon through the social housing route, and a one bedroom flat is clearly not adequate for two adults and three growing children.

Driedlimes · 04/08/2019 07:50

So, because the OP lives in social housing, others have the right to pry into & judge her choices on family size...

Social housing is supposed to provide secure, low cost & decent alternatives to an insecure private rental market. That's all. It doesn't make its occupiers and their lives public property.

By any reasonable standards the OP is overcrowded. She has no living area ( or she has one bedroom between 5). One of the whole points of social housing is to provide decent living conditions.

People should be angry with politicians who have failed to fund adequate levels of social housing & not with the OP for daring to have four children & 'making' her family overcrowded. If the level of housing stock were adequate, OP could move without giving up her security.

HariboLectar · 04/08/2019 07:50

Have you tried asking for advice on this forum OP?
forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=16

adaline · 04/08/2019 07:51

So, because the OP lives in social housing, others have the right to pry into & judge her choices on family size

She invited opinion and judgement by posting about it on MN.

Feelingwalkedover · 04/08/2019 07:52

We are having to use our living room as a bedroom as well,and we have a morgage
We can’t move elsewhere because kids are at special schools that took ages to get..

malaguena · 04/08/2019 07:54

Definitely stay out OP. The private rent market doesn’t give you any stability, rights as a tenant are quite limited and you are very lucky to have a council flat. Once your youngest turns one, you should be classed as statutorily overcrowded to the Housing act. You then have to notify the council and they will have to move you ASAP. This means they will probably put you in their priority band if you have a bidding system. They might try to fob you off but the law is on your side. I know a few people who were in similar situations and they moved within months as soon as the council classed them as statutorily overcrowded ( and that’s in London). I would absolutely stay put for one more year, it will be worth it in the long term to have stability, and you might be able to get a discount if you want to buy later on. In your current situation the council should allow you to join the register as you are severely overcrowded (lacking 2 bedrooms). You need to keep complaining and look at their overcrowding policies.

myself2020 · 04/08/2019 07:56

@SimplySteveRedux the problem is that the OP seems to earn well about 60k per year - so its mot that they can’t afford private rent - they don’t want to. and them having a council flat means somebody else who would actually need one doesn’t have one.
i would rather have a cheap, guaranteed council house than my crippling mortgage. But as i can afford it, i rightfully don’t get a council house!

Palaver1 · 04/08/2019 07:59

It doesn’t matter how many children she’s had.
I really wouldn’t want to give up on a council place but it either you go back and ask for housing association list that seems to be quicker.
Or you go private the only problem with private is your at the landlords mercy.
Could you take this opportunity to buy your own property that’s the way to go.
It must be difficult take care

BigRedBoat · 04/08/2019 08:01

Having 3 kids in a one bed flat is probably not a sensible idea for anyone whether social housing or not. I would move if I were you OP, you can't have much space for toys, space for your oldest to do homework or have friends over? If you can afford private rent then go for it.