Bullied on local Facebook page... so so angry

[TellerTuesday4EVA]

I discovered this first thing this morning but I'm still absolutely raging about it now so hoping this vent will help.

Yesterday I drove DGran (82) into our local town to do her banking, visit post office, newsagent & greengrocers etc as I do most weeks. She's a blue badge holder & walks with a frame. We parked in the disabled on street parking section & displayed her badge, walked to the high street did her various bits then went into costa for coffee & cake.

It was a warm day & she tires very easily so i suggested I go get the car while she was finishing her coffee & i would pull up outside to collect her.

I woke up this morning to a message from my friend with a screenshot of a post that's been posted on a Facebook group called 'Parking like a twat in XXXX'

There's a photo of me getting into my car, full registration visible & the comments are just vile.

The original post says 'look at this cheeky bitch, doesn't look disabled to me, taking spaces from those actually need them'

There's many comments along the lines of appalling, discusting [sic] 🤦🏻‍♀️, should be ashamed.

Then there's one saying, I don't know that fat arse could be a disability (I'm a size 10, 9st!!)

Ive looked through some of the other posts & god it is vile, never seen such vitriol & hatred spouted on a group in all my life... I commented on the post & explained the situation, ended up in a slanging match with the OP & probably lowered myself to their level with some colourful language but honestly I am so angry.... I've reported the post to Facebook & DH said I should just let it go & leave it at that but it's really upset me.

Why are people such utter wankers 😡

Wow thats out of order. We have a local facebook group and I've also read some pretty nasty stuff on there, its bullying at its worse.

Just remember that you have done nothing wrong and I hope the photo gets taken down asap.

That's horrible for you OP but don't let it get you down. They were in the wrong and couldn't even be gracious enough to admit it.

You should also remind them many people are blue badge holders who don't look disabled at first sight.

Most facebook admins will deal with nonsense on their pages. You explained - everyone should have accepted that and withdrawn their comments or apologised. So I would report to admin - who will probably delete the whole post. My local groups are really good at not allowing identifying pictures to be posted.

There is a thread on here every week where a poster sees a seemingly able bodied person using a disabled space with everyone piling on about what a cheeky fucker they are. No reason why fb would be different. People love to jump to conclusions and be outraged. You've probably done it yourself about something at some point.

They should have been more gracious when you explained. Ask the admins to delete.

Yeah invisible disabilities don’t exist....Ignorant shits!

What's going to happen when more people with mental, non-visible disabilities get blue badges?

Hubby has lung problems and osteo-arthritis in both knees, looks fine but can't walk more than a few feet on bad days, has an adapted mobility car, we still get abused parking in disabled spaces but he's not shy and gives back a mouthful

My friend who is an amputee used to get so much abuse as she wears jeans over her false leg so her disability isn't immediately obvious, that she gave up her blue badge.

But re: the local Facebook page, these pages are generally hotbeds of gossip & unpleasantness anyway, i would report to admin then delete & block the page.

You had a lovely day with your gran & she enjoyed herself try to focus on the good that you have done rather than on those nasty people on that stupid Facebook page.

I hate these type of pages, they should not be allowed to post photos of people's number plates. The reason I think this is because of OPs situation. No one knows why someone is parked where they are but you could get someone becoming abusive to the car owner.

Hopefully FB take the photo down.

Totally out of order but you have to let it go. It’s only your blood pressure rising, they couldn’t give a fuck.

Poor you though. Massive hug

Thing is, OP, would you be outraged if someone had truly done exactly what you were accused of?

Oh poor you, OP. That’s awful - that would really have upset me!

It really annoys me that with all the amazing stuff you can do with the internet - people use it to bully other people. Says a lot about the human race.

As a society everyone is very quick to jump to conclusions and unfortunately shaming people on social media appears to be the way of the world these days.

Try to let it go OP, though harder said than done. Have you tried contacting the admin of the page and explaining the situation, they could make the decision to remove it.

**easier said! Should be an edit option!

Thanks all, it has helped me get it off my chest a bit posting.

How do I find out who the admin is, it's not shown on the main page, but then I'm not a member of the group so maybe can't see... it still allowed me to comment though??

@lljkk to be honest I do mumble to myself most days about other people's parking & driving etc and hands up I possibly would think the same but I actually taking a photo of someone & character assassinating them on social media is in my opinion a step too far.

Is it a group or a page?

If it's a group join and look at the members to see who the admin are. I'm not sure what you do if it's a page

If it's a page just send a private message and the person who runs the page should pick it up.

If it's a group If you scroll down the page there is normally a section which says members, and there it will list the admins.

They might not be reasonable and remove it, but worth a try 🤷‍♂️

Doesn't sound like bullying though.

There's a difference between being privately outraged and posting identifiable pictures of people online, encouraging others to pile on and castigate them for a perceived slight that didn't even happen!

Keyboard warriors OP. Unfortunately it's the downside of FB, people write things they wouldn't dare say in real life and a lot of bored, unfulfilled people are on high alert to a bit of drama on those local pages.

I wouldn't try to police it, (much less post pics & call names) either.
It's a shame they didn't listen to your explanation.
I hope the admin will listen & remove the thread.

The concept of 'live and let live' is dying... I'm guilty of not doing that myself.

I’d report the whole page to FB and get it suspended/deleted. If people are going to admin a page they have to police this sort of thing and delete threads that develop this way.

You’ve got a blue badge, that’s all there is to it. That’s why you were parked there and had a right to park there. No more comment or judgement or appraisal or posting on fucking Facebook needed. In fact, that kind of shit should attract a heavy fine or something.

It's my experience that this has more to do with people haying the fact that some people get blue badges, so they think they should police all the "scroungers" or have the same rights themselves. A couple of weeks ago I pulled into a disabled space at work, and as I was getting out helpfully told the person leaving the car that had just parked in the next bay that they had forgotten to display their badge - my employers enforce bays and the person was likely to get a fine. What I got was a mouthful of abuse and swearing and asked where I expected her to park. I pointed out that there were DOZENS of empty spaces. Then I got "there is such a thing as hidden disability you know". My response that that it was handy, then, that there is no such thing as hidden blue badges, so she needed to get hers out. She got back in the car and drove off.

Stupidly, I hadn't even assumed she didn't have a blue badge, only that she'd forgotten to display it.