To think FB posts about children should be banned?

[MagicKingdomDizzy]

Or any social media content?

A bit contentious perhaps. But the amount of Facebook, instagram, Twitter posts I have seen about a child, containing personal information and pictures and open to the public is very high.

Today I saw a post on Facebook. A woman's toddler had been in a car accident. What followed was a very dramatic in depth post about it, along with pictures of the poor child on a hospital bed, covered in tubes, blood and bruising.

How is this allowed, and why do people even do it? To post pictures of your child at their most vulnerable and without their consent (of course at that age they can't give it) is awful.

Should there be stricter regulations in place regarding children and social media? I feel like there should be!

I don’t necessarily think it should be banned but I think people should take a lot more care with what they post. As an adult who thankfully did most of my growing up without social media, I can’t imagine I’d be very happy to have had my life since birth documented online for everyone to see - even if it is only “just close family and friends”

I think over the next couple of generations people will begin to really see the impact of having raised their DC on Social Media. I've been on Facebook for over 10 years and post pictures of the DC on adventures/holidays etc, but am always conscious that at some point in the future the DC will be able to access this photos and posts, and I've always been cautious of oversharing or causing them any sort of embarrassment because of that.

There should be limit and restrictions, absolutely. But parents should be smart enough to have privacy settings high enough to protect their pictures and information.

It’s the privacy settings. My posts can only be seen by friends. I have about 20. Even then I don’t say where we live, I don’t use pics of the outside of my house, and only do short descriptions of pix (like ‘first bbq of the year!’). I certainly would not post about car accidents or anything serious. That does not belong in social media

• people concerned would get a personal call/ text/email.

I think in some cases it’s unwise parenting to say the least (eg car accident example), but making a law against any social media mentions of anyone’s children sounds a tad excessive.

“Well Mr Smith, we were going to offer you the job of CEO, but our social media search for your name shows that forty years ago your mother made you a Thomas the Tank Engine birthday cake and mentioned it on Twitter.”

YANBU OP

I wonder about how children who have had personal, and sometimes embarrassing moments shared online, will feel in the future.

Even with the best privacy settings. Unless you only post the picture for you alone to see, and lets be honest no one does that, as they wouldn't post if they didn't want to share. Then anyone who can see the post can share it with others, and then goodness knows who will end up seeing it.

It's definitely going to cause arguments and resentment, as the children grow up and realise how much has been shared.

I only posted minimum information and pics to a select few. My kids have asked me to stop I completely respect this and have. I think some people forget children are entitled to grow up privately.

I think banning all pictures of kids would be a case of a small minority spoiling it for everyone else.

My rules are high privacy settings, only people I know in real life as friends, only pictures where the child is fully clothed (no bath photos!) happy and clean. If my child was to look back at the photos when she’s a teenager I wouldn’t want her to be embarrassed.

YANBU. I have my privacy settings so only family can see my posts and put pictures of my children up maybe 3 times a year. I never put anything I think could potentially embarrass them, like semi naked, covered in food or upset in any way.
It’s like our parents posting our baby albums online. I’d cringe.
I also have a bug bear when people have pictures of their children as their profile picture. Why?! It’s your profile. You are not your children! Anyone can access that or save the image. It really bothers me.

I don’t think it should be totally banned but people should think a lot more about what they post. There are children that I’ve never even met before who’s parents seem to share absolutely everything. I know these kids medical information, birthday, school, everything that should be kept private.

Also hate when people post hate for their ex partners with whom they have children with. One day your children will grow up to read all that.

Maybe a full ban is overkill (not that it would ever happen anyway). But certainly stricter rules allowing the social media platform to delete anything which would be considered an invasion of privacy for the child.

Not all parents are as considerate as previous posters of their children, regarding privacy settings. Some people just seem to care about the number of likes they get, forgetting that the child in their post has had absolutely no say in their image or info being put online.

Some people are total idiots on social media and this naturally extends to posts about their children. The hospital type posts make me cringe.

This fact does not stop me posting pics of my children on days out etc.

I've posted similar on (my very locked down) Facebook. Updating family and friends about stuff like this is actually really difficult when you're in hospital with one of your smalls, there's just no time. I posted a fairly detailed update with a couple of not too bloody pictures, so that I could give all the information to everybody at once (obv close family already knew).

I also needed support, and it was a way of reaching out. . It was a difficult time and having people stepping forward and offering to look after my eldest while I was in hospital with the youngest was incredibly helpful.

How about you withold judgment and (im guessing here) thank your lucky fortune you've never been in this situation.

I know it's not for everybody, but for me it was just a good way of communicating to people without having the same conversation a hundred times (virtually impossible with the signal you get in hospital), and it let everybody know I might need a bit of help.

YANBU

You’re extremely naive if you think having your privacy settings turned up to 11 will somehow protect you. This is Facebook, a quick google on Cambridge Analytica shows you that however you use the medium you are compromising your data just by logging in.

"Should there be stricter regulations in place regarding children and social media? I feel like there should be!"

What about stricter regulations regarding feeding children to be more broad than long? Or regarding rotting milk teeth? Or regarding intellectual degeneration by putting them in front of the TV all they long? Or regarding smoking in a home where children live?

I know there is a social media "hysteria" at the moment, where people think it might have a negative effect on them in the future if there are pictures of them as toddlers cruising the internet. However, there are a lot of things many parents do that have proven negative long-term effects. So if you want stricter rules to protect children from stupid parents - which would be a good thing - I think we should start with those.

I have a friend who posts videos of her children coughing, laying in bed when they are sick. It's bizarre, complete lack of respect for them and their rights in my opinion. I have no idea why anyone would want to do this.

so that I could give all the information to everybody at once

I'm really not trying to be goady here, but why did everyone need to know that your child was in hospital? I understand telling close family, to help out with childcare, but I don't understand why 100s of other people also needed to know.

“What about stricter regulations regarding feeding children to be more broad than long? Or regarding rotting milk teeth? Or regarding intellectual degeneration by putting them in front of the TV all they long? Or regarding smoking in a home where children live?“

Can we only choose one? it doesn’t have to be a case of either or. We have already seen the adverse effects of social media on, for example, democratic processes. Why shouldn’t we assume it will impact on our children’s lives in the future too?

why did everyone need to know that your child was in hospital

Can’t speak for that poster, but the person I know who did this about her newborn did it because she was getting a ton of chirpy “how are you getting on with the baby?” messages from a wide circle of people and didn’t want to have to explain that the baby was seriously ill and in intensive care, over and over again.

“with a couple of not too bloody pictures“
Completely unnecessary IMO. Just screams attention seeking. You can share your message without the photos.

IWantMyHatBack

Updates sure, but graphic photos of a child in a vulnerable situation, when they haven't consented? I don't see how that is ever necessary.

SmartPlay

Social media is a very different example to the ones you have mentioned. You can't compare them.

"Can we only choose one? hmm it doesn’t have to be a case of either or."

Of course! But the thing is, that I hear wishes to prohibit photos of children on social media many times, but never read a demand about laws against physical abuse of the kind I mentioned. It seems to me that it currently simply is modern to be against parents posting photos of their kids.

"We have already seen the adverse effects of social media on, for example, democratic processes. Why shouldn’t we assume it will impact on our children’s lives in the future too?"

I do not deny that social media has a lot of negative effects on various aspects of life. I simply doubt that pictures of children have a great effect on those children. The argument often is "Employers tend to google applicants, what if they find those pics!?" - Yes, what if? What will happen if 20 years from now an employer will google a name and find a photo of that person as a toddler in a hospital bed after an accident? I can hardly imagine that someone won't be employed or will a partner who googles him break up with him or won't get accepted to university because they were in an accident when small.
I'm not talking about embarassing photos, or ones that give the impression the child is stupid or anything like that.

We’ve had our first baby fairly recently and made the decision not to post any pics of her on social media.

I’m on every social media site going and used to be very active (pre-baby).

We think it’s her decision whether she wants her pics put up and so won’t be posting any until the day she can decide.

It goes way beyond employment @SmartPlay. Not even Facebook could have predicted the Cambridge Analytica scandal, let alone your average user. But we are starting to realise now that facial recognition technology, coupled with all the information that we voluntarily give up along with it (health issues, education, leisure activities, friends) means your child’s information is being “banked” for future use. We have no way of knowing how that will be used and how it will impact us.

OK, to put it another way, I can imagine an AIBU on here.....

"AIBU to be annoyed that my sister posted a photo of me after an accident on FB without my consent?"

You wouldn't do it to another adult without asking them first, yet it's ok to do it to children?