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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being selfish?? Need opinions.

36 replies

Sjoe456 · 03/08/2019 19:13

Okay so.. I am really not sure if I am being selfish or not.. I'm 9 weeks pregnant on Tuesday. The morning sickness has been horrendous, every day I dry heave and just have that constant nauseous feeling and feel SO dizzy and light headed aswell. Possibly think I'm low on iron. This is my first baby. He is nearly 30 and has a 7 year old from another relationship.. he cant drive at the minute but is getting a car in febuary, a month before our baby is due.. but I'm finding things very tough at the minute because when he gets his daughter it's me that has to go and collect her then we usually go to the park or do something fun and it's me obviously driving there.. today I went and picked his daughter up, he suggested his 8 year old brother came with us so I then had to drive from our house about 15 minutes away where his mum lives to get his brother, went to an indoor play park, left his brother home, took him and his daughter to the supermarket in which I couldnt go in cause I felt sick and was waiting in the car for about 45 minutes and ended up falling asleep, then left them home.. and I had to end up saying I'm goin up to my mums for a while to nap and chill out. It annoys me that little bit more as his mum drives.. so it would be nice if sometimes he asked his mum to do it, AIBU or is it him being unreasonable as I'm sick as fuck, I just dont think men truly understand how horrible pregnancy sickness is and especially when its driving about in the heat at the minute..

OP posts:
Sjoe456 · 04/08/2019 00:26

I agree or taxi or train. We live IN the town also so it's not like buses or trains are hard to get to . It's about a 10 minute walk if even.. I wouldnt even say 10 mins to the train station

OP posts:
fedup21 · 04/08/2019 00:31

He can want all he likes, but you don’t have to agree.

He wouldn’t be able to go all these things with his daughter if you weren’t there as his chauffeur. He couldn’t do them if, for example you had a broken leg. You are pregnant and feel like shit-he can’t do them now either. He needs to get a bus, a cab or make some alternative plans. If he doesn’t want to and won’t do this, you have huge problems ahead.

MammaBot211 · 04/08/2019 00:49

Morning sickness is awful, eat little and often and try nibble on Ginger biscuits. But unfortunately life goes on, especially when your a mum/stepmom.

As for his licence, if he has a medical condition, if his Consultant has deemed him safe to drive, The DVLA would send his licence back. His medical condition does not just disappear in February, please query that because that seems off.

Weenurse · 04/08/2019 00:57

Ginger tea or biscuits, dry biscuits often.
Nothing made me feel better except vomiting, sorry you feel so crap.

SpoonBlender · 04/08/2019 01:21

Avoiding messing around with sheep and lambs is only important during lambing season, so you can put that worry to rest.
www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/pregnancy/why-should-pregnant-women-avoid-sheep-during-the-lambing-season/

You're totally being taken advantage of. You'll have to start saying no.

ElstreeViaduct · 04/08/2019 09:47

He can want all he likes, but you don’t have to agree.

OP, Fedup is spot on. You need to channel her.

Mamabot that doesn't sound off to me. For example if you have an isolated fit you lose your license for a year, I think, subject to not getting any more. Of course if you do get more within the year, then yes you can't get it back. OP if it's somethg like that then he is not guaranteed to get it back in Feb and it's all the more important that you stand up to his demands.

Sjoe456 · 04/08/2019 10:22

Yeah it is he has epilepsy and he had the first one in 7 years in febuary and he wasnt on any medication but now he does every day so he should hopefully get it back in febuary..I hope, although I said he should drive only when needs be, I think.i would mostly drive if the baby was in the car.. havent rang him and asked can his mum leave the wee girl home today but going to now will be interesting to see what he says

OP posts:
BumbleBeee69 · 04/08/2019 16:53

how did you get on OP, sorry for alarming you about the sheep I couldn't recall the exact reasons etc. Flowers

Sjoe456 · 04/08/2019 18:38

Hey guys I said to him this morning can his mum do it as I'm sick and he just said yeah no problem .. I'm just gonna have to put my foot down more, anybody else think men can be so stupid and not think sometimes ???

OP posts:
Allli · 04/08/2019 18:44

Good for you. Just put the baby first and him second. And as the baby is currently inside you that means put yourself first too!

Re men, I think that topic may dominate this whole thread ha ha!

ElstreeViaduct · 04/08/2019 19:02

Great update. You must be so pleased you said something.

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