To think Facebook Marketplace is a cesspool.

[WhenYouCantRunYouCrawl]

I listed a toddler carrier last week on Facebook for £5. There's nothing wrong with it and it cost over £100 new. I was happy to just give it away as it was taking up space but the last time I listed something for free I had every wheeler-dealer type in a 50 mile radius message me, clearly seeing the ££ to be made.

Anyway, I listed it and within an hour had about 20-30 messages. Most were straight to the point (is this still available). Some were clearly so short on time they could only afford me one word (available?) and some were from those who hadn't bothered to read, with questions such as "how much" (it was listed as £5), and "would you deliver to X town 20 miles away" (no I fucking won't it would cost me more than £5 in fuel and the advert clearly states buyer to collect).

Thankfully, so I thought, the first person to contact me was someone I vaguely knew. So I arranged with her a time for her to collect it and responded to the other messages to say someone was coming to collect it. Around half a dozen others then responded to ask if I could let them know if it wasn't collected. Fine.

Collection day comes and buyer doesn't turn up. I message her to ask if she still wants it and she apologises and arranges a new time. Fine. Second day arrives and she doesn't turn up again.

So I go through my messages and find the person who was second to contact me and who had asked if I would keep her informed. Message her and wait a day and get no response. A week has now passed since the original advert and rather than going through my old, now buried messages I decide to relist.

Again it's a popular item. Lots of messages. One asks for more photos, which I don't respond to straight away because I'm out shopping. Half an hour later she follows up with just "??". Fuck off, I'm not a catalogue and I have a life outside Facebook Marketplace. Another asks how much. Another "do you deliver". One woman gets shirty with me because she asked about the original advert and I didn't keep her informed when the buyer didn't turn up. Fuck off, I'm selling a £5 item not running a customer service empire. Think I'm just going to charity shop everything from now on.

I tried sell a macbook on marketplace. Received a steady stream of ridiculous offers, followed by abusive messages saying I was a dumb blonde who clearly didn't have a clue what my mac was worth because I rejected an offer of half what I'd listed it for.

Ended up selling it for full asking elsewhere.

The shorthand speak pisses me off too.

When I enquire about any item I edit the automated line of "is this available?" To "hello, is this available please?" Takes 2 seconds and is so much more polite.

Agree with everything you've wrote. I've started to state in the post that it will go the first person able collect. I receive loads of messages and make it clear that I will let it go the first person able to collect, if they ask to collect it in a couple of days I tell them yes but if someone can come before that then it will go to them.

I didn't know you edit the 'is this available?' I use it but always felt it was rude.
Marketplace round here is full of people who won't pay above a fiver and don't drive. Unless I see something I would like then it's snapped up within seconds!
I've had loads of time wasters but if DH lists something he seems to have more success for some reason. It's amazing how many people's children suddenly become ill, or have a family crisis the minute they're due to collect something.

I have concluded that there is no point either sending an 'is this available?' message or responding to them. If I want something I say so and ask when i can collect. My experience of people who send 'is this available?' messages is that your rarely hear from them again even if you do reply. There is no point taking people's comments personally though. Just ignore them.

I have never had a Facebook account ever because I have a dream that humanity isn't full of screaming fuck wits, but I do so love these threads.
Thank you all.

I actually don't mind delivering if someone is buying something large and they live within a few miles. It's tough for people on low incomes with no car. But I am retired with time on my hands.

I no longer give out our house number and get the buyer to text when on their way and then I tell them (they have our road and postcode). It has been quite good at stopping time wasters who never show (and then I worry they'll just randomly turn up if they know my address). It's a pain for me and them, but serious buyers don't seem to mind.

Actually today - I was selling a highchair toy - brand new in its packaging still and selling for £10 on amazon, selling for £5 on Shpock or whatever it's called, some woman had offered me £3 and requested I deliver it. I can't catch my breath at some people.

Never ever Facebook Marketplace. It's full of utter jokers and I so hear you on the idiotic misspelled one line enquiries. I call them enquiries but they are actually sort of virtual grunts.

I only sell on FB on very localised parent/mums type groups run by sensible admins.

For all eBay's faults, when it comes to selling more valuable items it's still better than fucking FB.

You are absolutely not being unreasonable OP. I’ve had a couple of successes but also alllll of the shite you’ve described!

I was selling a dining table. Seats six, but legs come off. Bloke asked if I can deliver, despite advert stating collection. As it happens he didn't live far from me and I'd not had a ton of interest, so I said I'd check and get back to him.

Turned out it wouldn't fit in my car, so I couldn't deliver. He got arsey saying 'But you said you'd deliver!", no dickhead, I said I would check and now I've come back to you to say I can't.

He kept badgering me about me 'promising' to deliver, I spelt out to him that it DID NOT FIT IN MY CAR.

I then sold it to someone else, who collected and changed it to sold. Only for dopey bollocks to message me again to say it was his table. Oh, do fuck off.

Facebook is a cesspool in general to be honest. Most middle ground people don't use it anymore. It's either people with the i.q. of a dead squirrels slipper, far right or far left idiots. The middle folk are too busy just getting on with shit and living their life.

It's all true, but I think you need to step away from the computer for your own stress levels!

YANBU. I've listed quite a few things on there, mostly free. I give people one chance to turn up and then move on to the next. No second chances.

I get annoyed by the people who want you to reserve your free item for them because they can't come to collect it until the following week, or longer in some cases. I usually list things for free because I want them gone ASAP.

What annoys me most is people who don't read measurements and turn up in their tiny car expecting you to help them miraculously squeeze your massive chest of drawers in it actually happened to me

Reading this having come back from picking up two things I've just bought off Facebook! Most of the stuff I buy is household and for renovating my house so not necessarily hugely popular. I was lucky enough to win a £750 greenhouse for £100 but I had to dismantle it and am still lugging away the bricks from the dwarf walls 😄. Today's bargains were an old fireplace for £20 and a trolley to become a conservatory plant stand for £10, and I'm hopeful of picking up another fireplace on Monday. I've not yet tried selling but Freegle was a pain in the arse, as was Gumtree for furniture and household goods so will try Facebook just to get rid as charities here are very fussy.

YANBU. And as for the freebies, I think people can set up freebie alerts on their phone - hence the flurry of timewasters - so you are doing the right thing by at least trying to sell it for something.
But yeah, the charity shop is probably easier all round!

Ha, we only discovered marketplace recently - notched up a few quid for our holiday by clearing out the garage and selling some stuff, also offered a couple of items for free to save a trip to the tip. Even my mums broken down old bicycle got collected.

And yep, totally drowning in fuckwittage for the duration - my DH nearly lost his mind in frustration at people's rudeness and idiocy. Personally I have lower expectations of the human race and tuned the worst of it out, but he got really rather irked at some people.

Totally got owned as a buyer though - was very pleased to have found the IKEA chest of drawers I wanted just up the road for £25. I pitched up, handed over the notes, thought her house smelled a bit odd. Put the unit in the car...it stunk the car out with some weird musty perfumey smell. Got it home, stood it in the garden to give it a wipe down and an airing...you could smell the thing from indoors.

Took all the drawers out - and the back of it was so mouldy it had virtually eaten through the backboard.

So that went to the tip, along with my dignity. Sometimes I smell it in my dreams.

If only there was some kind of online marketplace that had something in place to filter out or disincentivise the scammers, time wasters, hagglers and various other troglodytes that inhabit them. They could be rich.

Who wants to start it, put the others out of business

Ugh I have a FB account just for joining local groups I used it recently to sell on baby stuff and it is full of weirdos.

There is the “hun” brigade, “ooh hun” makes my teeth itch.

The “is it available” group that then immediately leave the chat when you say yes.

The “i’ll come on Thursday” jokers that then never show up or reply to further messages.

I’ve even had someone offer me double the price (for a Moses basket) if they could come that night, it was 10.30pm

The ?????? Brigade who send you relentless messages if you don’t respond within a minute!

This week I sold something to the nicest chap and after dealing with utter cretins for months it was like a breath of fresh air. His messages were polite, respectful, properly written, negotiated on price reasonably. He arranged a collection that day, showed up on time and then messaged me to say thank you after. Amazing how someone acting like a normal human being really stood out. I fear for our future if FB is anything to go by.

I gave up and put my sofa in the garden. It was gone within an hour
My v good condition mattress went to the British heart foundation after someone messed me about
I have a leather chaise I was going to do free to whoever wants it but I CBA with the marketplace. Local charity are taking it for someone who was homeless and needs furniture

I sold a child’s bike on there. Woman turned up hours late as she couldn’t find my house and sent me a million messages - literally my house is the easiest to find in the whole world. She seemed to be walking back and forth at the end of my street.
Then gave me some story about giving her daughters last bike away for free and suggesting I give her this bike for free and then moaning that she had to get a taxi home. I shut the door after she had paid, she got a bargain.

because I have a dream that humanity isn't full of screaming fuck wits,

No, @Bravelurker, thank YOU!

and thank you too, @Blutopia. Sometimes MN is just priceless:

So that went to the tip, along with my dignity. Sometimes I smell it in my dreams.

YANBU! I had a similar thing on eBay. Sold a bmx bike for 99p. Didn't turn up when they said they would to collect. Came on another day and I kid you not I had to ASK for my 99p before they left!
I would have rather given it away to someone else.