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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if this is fair?

27 replies

IceAndASlice123 · 03/08/2019 13:39

To make it easier, will use fake names.

Emma is annoyed that Sarah asked her a question about babysitting in a text on Friday night. Emma still hasn't got around to making plans regarding care for her son and Sarah said she urgently needed to know as had been waiting to hear the plans for quite some time. Sarah had been told she 'might' be needed to help in 2 weeks time.

Emma feels that Sarah should not intrude on her weekend when she knows Emma is with her new partner. Before Emma met the new partner she would regularly text Sarah on a Friday night and of a weekend. Sarah is feeling frustrated that she is being left hanging and of feeling ignored.

Who is being unfair?

OP posts:
NoBaggyPants · 03/08/2019 13:41

What? Just tell us what happened.

imustadmithehassomeflare · 03/08/2019 13:42

Are you Sarah? Emma IBU.

Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 03/08/2019 13:44

Yes, I am Sarah. Just wondered if I was being unreasonable. Have been left 'hanging' for weeks and now feel I am being ignored. All I want is a 'Yes/No' answer.

OP posts:
FairyDust92 · 03/08/2019 13:44

Just don't babysit if she is messing you around?

Totalwasteofpaper · 03/08/2019 13:45

Emma is a CF.
Sarah should tell Emma to fuck off and find another babysitter.

HTH Grin

SallyLovesCheese · 03/08/2019 13:45

So Sarah texted to ask Emma if she (Sarah) was required to babysit for Emma's son next Friday? And Emma couldn't say yes or no? Then Emma is being unreasonable. Sarah probably wants to make her plans seeing as how it's less than a week to go.

Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 03/08/2019 13:48

Yes, Sally. That's what happened.

I have since seen Emma on social media posting photos of herself with partner taken earlier.
Just seems that since Emma met new partner, Sarah must now only get in contact when Emma is not with him. Even a text message regarding her son's care which would take a second to answer.

OP posts:
Coffeeandcherrypie · 03/08/2019 13:49

Sarah is an entitled, fair weather friend twat and doesn’t deserve free babysitting.

Coffeeandcherrypie · 03/08/2019 13:49

Sorry, substitute Emma for Sarah

gregoire · 03/08/2019 13:51

God that was confusing! But based on Sally's summary YANBU, Emma is being a dick.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 03/08/2019 13:51

Emma is BU. She can't expect someone to hold availability indefinitely; Sarah should say, can you let me know by x please, so I can make plans for my own life.

Emma also needs to realise that Sarah can text whenever is most convenient to her. If it doesn't require a prompt response then Emma can respond when it's convenient to her.

Sarah should chill a bit whilst Emma is in honeymoon phase. Sarah should realise that things will change now Emma has a boyfriend but it will come good. This assumes that Emma does make active attempts to maintain their friendship, and not just regard Sarah as a permanently on-call babysitter.

Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 03/08/2019 13:57

Just wanted to check I wasn't being unreasonable.
I do feel that since Emma met the new partner, I am almost not 'allowed' to text her during the times they are together. I rarely do but got frustrated last night at being left still not knowing the situation. It is a case of a simple 'No thank you.' Or 'Yes please, I do still need your help.' That is all.

OP posts:
NeedingAdvice29 · 03/08/2019 14:03

Just tell her you’re no longer available and make your own plans. She’s taking the piss cleary

Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 03/08/2019 14:09

I think that will have to happen. I love her DS but dont feel I am being shown any respect.

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 03/08/2019 15:55

Fuck her. Don’t keep that time clear for her. She’s rude to ignore you.

Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 03/08/2019 17:35

Thanks everyone. Was worried I was over reacting but feel a bit stronger now

OP posts:
Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 05/08/2019 14:44

Got a reply this morning saying-

'Hi Sarah. Was away this weekend and thought I had responded to you. I will look when I am home and get back to you asap.'

It's just gameplaying now. I think I should just ignore it ?

OP posts:
Coffeeandcherrypie · 05/08/2019 14:47

Yep ignore her...you’re not planning to babysit are you?

AnastasiaVonBeaverhausen · 05/08/2019 14:47

Tell her she is out of order to intrude on your Monday and you'll get back to her if/when you feel like it.

Bluntness100 · 05/08/2019 14:50

Just take control and text back and say I'm really sorry I can't do it, other plans have come up that I need to attend.

Why are you basically begging to baby sit this kid and allowing yourself to be treated like shit?

Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 05/08/2019 14:56

I'm not begging at all. Just really like the child and enjoy our time together.
But you are all right. I don't deserve to be treated like this.

OP posts:
KatharinaRosalie · 05/08/2019 14:59

Hi Emma - as I didn't hear from you, I assumed you had made other arrangements, am no longer available

Coffeeandcherrypie · 05/08/2019 15:02

Yep go with Katharina’s text. And continue to be unavailable.

shiningstar2 · 05/08/2019 15:08

I think you need to show that you are entitled to and expect some appreciation when offering free babysitting. However if Emma has got used to you just sitting waiting to see if she needs you she will continue to take you for granted. Anybody can reply quickly to a text and it is you who are doing her the favour not the other way around. I think I would be texting back 'sorry ...as you didn' t get back to me I have other plans for the weekend' Believe me it will make your head spin how quickly you will be contacted about arrangements in the future if it interferes with her own plans when she doesn't bother to consider you.

newmomof1 · 05/08/2019 15:12

Has she told you you shouldn't interrupt her time with her new partner or are you just being sensitive because she didn't respond within 12 hours?