What to do about dp

[Whattodo20191]

Dp came home from work tonight and immediately said he had a match to go to this evening. He works away from home during the week so it's another evening at home alone for me with our colicky baby.
Then he went to look for something. He couldn't find it so came to ask me where it was. I said I'd never seen it. He said it was in my car so I must have moved it or dumped it. I said no, I had never seen it in the car. He continued being really horrible saying I had dumped it. After about 20 mins he said it was in a shopping bag in the car and I must have got rid of it..
Then I remembered that his boots were in a bag in the spare room from last time he went to a match. Went to check and there was what he was looking for, HE had left it there. He then said all that I had known all along it was there, I didn't.
He's left for the match with our older ds. As he was leaving he asked me to leave the door unlocked for him when I go to bed. I said no, take your keys. He turned to our ds and said 'your mother can be so horrible sometimes.'
So I am completely fed up with him. I don't think I can continue with him. But he's going to come home after the match and get into our bed :( if I get out to sleep somewhere else he'll follow me. If I ignore him when he talks, he'll shout until I answer I can't get space.
So please tell me how can I end this? Ideally he'd just leave the house (rented) and let me stay with the dc's but he won't go easily. I can afford to rent and pay bills on my own but don't want to move the kids. So what do I do?

Are you both in the tenancy agreement?

@cherrysoup

Yes we both are

Text him when he goes back to work or email and tell him exactly how you feel and what you want to happen also contact your ll and ask about changing the tenancy over or ending it early

He works away during the week? Then I would keep quiet for the weekend and as soon as he's safely wherever he goes to, I'd tell him that all his things are ready to go.

He sounds really aggressive.

What sort of place does he stay in throughout the week? Can you have his things sent there? Or to his mother's?

@stressedout10

I think that would be the easiest way out of it. It's just a pity he'll be home now for the whole weekend. And if I text to tell him what I'm thinking and want and he doesn't agree, then what can i do?

HollowTalk

He has a room rented in a house where he works, he could stay there or at his parents house. But I know he won't go easily and I don't know what to do about that.

You can give your landlord notice, however, your DP does also have to agree. You might be better off waiting for the tenancy to run out (unless it's a rolling one with you able to give notice when you want) then not renew. You will need to agree to split up, we'll, not really agree, but organise for you to move or get him to agree to go. Your landlord might agree to keep just you and the DC on.

You just have to be strong, if he refuses to move out, then I’d give the notice on the tenancy in your name, and try and secure other property.

If you cannot I’d move into parents house etc...

That we he cannot control you.

Have you got somewhere else to stay for a while?
Do you think he would ge violent?
How long is left on your lease

Sorry for so many questions

It's a rolling lease so I could give notice at any time, but houses are so hard to find in my area so worried I wouldn't be able to find anything else.
I think if I left and stayed at my parents he would go there in a temper and not leave until I'd spoken to him.

Could he afford to pay for the house and his flat on his own? Might be worth talking to the ll if not, maybe end your current tenancy and move out to your parents for a while and then when he moves out you could start a new tenancy and move back.
You seem quite scared of his reaction have you considered talking to someone at woman's aid or the police?
If he did turn up at your parents house call the police they'll get rid of him quickly and efficiently

He could afford both so he wouldn't have to give up this house if I left.
He has never raised a hand to me but would kick things, bang doors etc if very angry.
My only worry is my parents live in the countryside so could take police half an hour to get there if they were called.

Have you spoken to Women's Aid? 0808 2000 247

This is classic domestic abuse, so 1) it's ok for you to call it that (it makes it easier for others to know how to help you), and 2) there are people and organisations out there who can help you and will want to help you.

Freedom Programme can help too once you've sorted the practical stuff now.