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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DHs comments about me not eating meat

40 replies

Pooshy · 02/08/2019 18:54

I've recently decided to cut out meat - I've never really liked it

I've not wanted to tell people if we're going to a bbq or whatever as I know there will be plenty of non meat options and I really don't need something special cooked for me, and I don't want to be inconvenient

Tonight we were ordering a take away, and I ordered what I would usually order, plus DHs meat based main

He said "he knew it would be annoying that I'm now vegetarian" and went on to say it was inconvenient

This pissed me off! Aibu?

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 02/08/2019 19:50

I think your mistake was telling him.

I rarely eat meat and I didnt say anything to ex when I cut it out completely for a few months for health reasons. It was only when I mentioned to my mum that I was off meat for a while when she invited me for dinner that he realised. Suddenly he was all over it, had to shut up when I pointed out that he hadnt noticed the previous 3 months when I wasnt eating it.

mussolini9 · 02/08/2019 20:10

I don't like tomatoes but somehow we make the marriage work

Grin Grin Grin

Pimmsypimms · 02/08/2019 20:14

He's being an arse. My dd is a vegetarian and my dh is on a low carb diet so no rice or noodles. We manage perfectly fine to order a takeaway that suits us all.

mussolini9 · 02/08/2019 20:14

FFS - YANBU!

"he knew it would be annoying that I'm now vegetarian"

Snarky comeback: "are your logic circuits paining you again dear?
Tell you what, I'll carry on not remarking on your food choices, & you can have fun copying me".
Said with a placid smile of course ...

PalmPrint · 02/08/2019 20:27

What I've found is that some meat-eating people seem to take vegetarianism very personally and become unnecessarily upset at the thought of someone choosing not to eat meat. After discovering that my sister had gone vegetarian, my BIL (on my dh's side- so not related to my sister) once gave me a 20 minute lecture about how unhealthy a vegetarian diet was because Quorn was junk food and worse than eating a MacDonald's. It didn't matter how many times I repeated that my sister didn't eat Quorn and that she had a very healthy varied diet, he just kept banging on and on about it. Every time he sees her he asks whether she's still a vegetarian and questions her about what she eats on a day-to-day basis. When she answers him he then tries to find fault with everything she has eaten.

Her in-law's are always serving her meat despite knowing she's a vegetarian, and has been for at least 5 years, and then make a fuss because they don't have any "vegetarian" food in the house. This has happened at every meal they have invited her to (she reminds them each time they're invited that she's vegetarian). They just won't accept that she doesn't like or want to eat meat.

Her best friend keeps accusing her of eating meat and texting my sister's dh to find out what she's eaten that day in an attempt to catch her out. It's really really bizarre.

She isn't a high and mighty preachy vegetarian who constantly mentions being vegetarian. She just lives her life how she wants to and eats what she wants to eat. There's really no need for people to be so judgy and annoyed by a decision that doesn't affect them at all.

mussolini9 · 02/08/2019 20:53

This is very aggressive of BiL. @PalmPrint -

Every time he sees her he asks whether she's still a vegetarian and questions her about what she eats on a day-to-day basis. When she answers him he then tries to find fault with everything she has eaten.

I would be sorely tempted - & I would give in to that temptation - to hear BiL out one last time, smile sweetly & reply along the lines of:

"thanks for yet another lecture, I forget - where did you study as a nutritionist? Oh you didn't? Well never mind, I'm pretty clued up, & it's my turn to bore you now! Isn't this fun? Did you know that [insert dodgy meat fact]? I know! Shall I tell you this every time I see you, or would you prefer to stop boring on at me about my perfectly mainstream & valid dietary choices?"

But then I'm pushing 60, have forgotten how to care about Mansplainers' opinions, & get arsier every time I hear some entitled male twat banging on at length to an unwilling victim about a subject he doesn't comprehend :)

LaurieFairyCake · 02/08/2019 21:01

Just don't go vegan, people take that REALLY personally Hmm

JoJoSM2 · 02/08/2019 21:04

He's being rude and inconsiderate. I'd tell him to stop the nonsense.

tararabumdeay · 02/08/2019 21:05

I deliberately stopped eating meat to annoy my 'D'H as he's a greedy work shy bastard.

trilbydoll · 02/08/2019 21:06

DH has been veggie a year or so and people do take it as a criticism. I however am more than happy to admit I'll cuddle a lamb at a farm and then eat one for tea Smile more often than not I'll cook for him but sometimes me and the kids are having meat and I don't have the headspace to make something for him. It's not a big deal unless one party really wants it to be.

haveuheard · 02/08/2019 21:12

Another mixed household here with no problems, one veggie and meat eaters. Doesn't say a lot for your DH that he isn't prepared to make a tiny tiny compromise in respect of your feelings and choices.

Trickyteens · 02/08/2019 21:34

But why is it annoying??

Original poster
Pooshy · 02/08/2019 21:48

He apologies for being a nob. Think he was a big hangry! It is interesting tho that some people do like to take it personally and pick at your choices when it doesn't actually affect them
Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
Pooshy · 02/08/2019 21:48

*apologised

OP posts:
ChangeYourThinking · 02/08/2019 21:54

Do you eat prawns / fish OP? Because then you are a pescatarian not a vegetarian. He sounds annoying either way.

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