How long is reasonable to be off for?

[HolyJaffaCakes]

I've just lost another pregnancy (it's one of many losses) and I just feel so drained by it all.

I want to ask the doctor to sign me off. Not just because of the physical aspect but the mental we well. I just don't know what to do with myself. I can't function properly day to day. I just want time to breath and go slow for a while.

I'm worried about taking the piss. This whole thing has left me with anxiety about everything so I worry and overthink all the time.

I'd like to have at least two weeks to myself to just not think about anything. Is this reasonable or am I being ridiculous?

I'm just so sick of the world carrying on like it doesn't matter. I'm desperate to just stop for a while and catch my breath. I feel like I'm falling apart.

I'm so sorry for your losses OP. More than reasonable to ask for some time off in the circumstances. I hope it gives you a bit of breathing space at a very difficult time. Please be kind to yourself

It’s better to take enough time off now than to rush back and everything get on top of you later. I had 8 days off after a MTP after scan results at 20 weeks showing it wasn’t a viable pregnancy, rather than wait for it to pass. First day back at work my headteacher (who knew why I was off) had me teaching sex ed to the boys, including what happens if a pregnancy doesn’t continue 😒

I struggled through, but come the summer holidays I completely broke down and spent weeks in bed all day and drinking all night- not at all healthy.

Many years later I had a mc naturally at home, and had 3 weeks off to properly get my head around it, as well as physically be well enough to go back to work

Visit you GP and get their advice on being signed off. If they say two weeks, you can always return.

But please speak to your manager and HR. Get them to raise an OH referral for you and discuss the possibility of a phased return. That way you’re in the workplace, but not with the full weight of expectation on you.

There’s no right or wrong. Some women feel better go in back a few days later as they welcome the distraction. Others need a lot longer. It’s what you need that matters.

@HolyJaffaCakes not unreasonable at all, it's important you take time when you know you need it. Take the 2 weeks and see how you're getting on and reassess

another question is how long can you afford to be off work? lots of places only pay SSP which is around £150 per week or so.

I took two weeks, and it wasn't enough. I went back and work was very busy and I almost burned out. It wasn't wise, and my GP would have signed me off for longer, I just thought I "should" be okay after two weeks. I would listen to how you feel about this, I wish I had.