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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School Trips!

38 replies

southoftheland · 02/08/2019 15:26

Hi all,
My DD and DS are at the same school. DD is in Y9 going into Y10 and DS is going into Y11 in September.

At the beginning of July (when DD was in Y9) her school took some students doing French to Nice. At the meetings, in the booklets and from speaking to the teachers on the trip, the students were allowed to go off by themselves in their friend groups and get dinner, explore, get lunch, go shopping etc. In the mornings the teachers took them from the hotel into the central areas and they were allowed to go anywhere they wanted except the beach which was a group activity. However, even on the beach the teachers sunbathed and chatted and let the teens swim, go and get ice cream, walk down the beach etc and they had a meeting time again. They had a couple of set activities but other than that it was a bit of a jolly!

I think part of that was because the four teachers on the France trio are very relaxed characters and have good relationships with the students and respect is given both ways etc, it worked well and DD and friends came back with unknown gushing of their French teacher who has shown herself to be a human, not too different from them! Oh and don’t get me started on how all of a sudden DD is excited for the head of geography to teach her next year after that trip Grin

Now DS is going to Barcelona with most of the Y11 Spanish students in early September. We’ve had meetings on the trip and it all looks good so far but we’ve just received a booklet in the post with extra details and the teachers taking them on this trip have specified a plan for each day, down to the minute! Grin They are to be split into actual groups with each teacher instead of walking in a clump and going off and they won’t be allowed to go anywhere a teacher can’t see them. Dinner will be together, as will lunch, they won’t be allowed to go shopping or exploring, it’s structured activities to improve their Spanish I presume. Rooms in the hotel have been assigned alphabetically, rather than they get to choose like on DDs trip.

I’ve tried to explain to DS (who’s visibly disappointed ,and it doesn’t help that DD is rubbing it in, that it will still be very fun and he will learn more than DD did etc) But he’s still unhappy.

So AIBU to ask:

a) Which trip is more normal in secondary schools as I thought they were all like DDs until now Blush I’m genuinely interested in this but it’s not as important as b

b) How should I go about getting DS to understand that his trip will be lovely and he will learn so much and enjoy himself etc?

Thank you all so much! Smile

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Original poster
southoftheland · 02/08/2019 15:27

Oh god, it’s awfully long, my apologies

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Bunglefromrainbow · 02/08/2019 15:34

I think the previous Nice trip is more "normal" with a relaxed structure and the children being able to explore a new Country and try and get by there on their own. But I'm sure some schools/departments do go for a more structured approach.

I'd probably tell your son that once they are there things will very likely be more relaxed than he's imagining and even if not there will be plenty of evening time to enjoy things with his friends.

As for going to Barcelona to learn Spanish, I think someone needs to have a word with the school to remind them that they speak Catalan in Barcelona :)

EduCated · 02/08/2019 15:35

I would suggest somewhere between the two. Your DD’s trip sounds very relaxed and informal. I would suggest that most trips aren’t like this and would have a bit more structure. However your DS’s trip sounds rather rigid - I would expect some elements of free time, and the rooms by alphabetical order whilst an easy solution seems a little harsh.

Original poster
southoftheland · 02/08/2019 15:39

@Bunglefromrainbow That’s exactly what DH said at the meeting, re Catalan/Spanish. Resulted in the Head of Spanish saying they speak both and started talking about how gorgeous the Sagrada Familia is and how it doesn’t matter Confused I will also tell DS what you said. Smile

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Teachermaths · 02/08/2019 15:46

It sounds like the students on ds's trips are a tricker bunch and perhaps there are some students who can't be trusted. If I take students I don't trust, I have a watertight plan like the one listed above. I bet Dds trip had students who are better behaved.

Alphabetical rooms makes it easy and avoids any arguing as everyone has been treated fairly. There may have been behind the scenes issues that led to this.

He'll have a great time.

Zebraaa · 02/08/2019 15:47

Barcelona is abit more sketchy than Nice. Lots of prostitutes and thieves when I last went. Maybe this is the reason why?

IsobelRae23 · 02/08/2019 15:49

Ds’s school trips and the ones I attended have been more like your dd’s. It also helps for the children to see the teachers as human! Lol actually we have a reunion coming up, and many teachers are coming, because we are all fb friends so still in touch. I would have hated structure like that. I went abroad 3 times with the school, and also done trips to London and Scotland etc. Never were rooms assigned- that I find odd.

Maybe an extreme example, however one of ds14’s friends wets the bed. His friends know. When he sleeps at ours we put the protective sheet, he puts his nightpad straight in the bin, and showers- it’s no problem. His friends don’t tease him, they understand. I could imagine him being on the trip, then finding out he could not share with his friends, and he would pull out.

cuppycakey · 02/08/2019 15:50

Another one who cannot understand why you would take children to Barcelona to improve their Spanish, when they speak Catalan? Confused

Pangur2 · 02/08/2019 15:54

Trips I have been involved with have been in-between what you have described. The leader of the last trip I went on planned loads of activities, but we did allocate time for shopping and exploring as well. The kids had to decide who they were sharing rooms with in advance and order food in advance. No issues! It was a great trip!

Original poster
southoftheland · 02/08/2019 15:55

@Teachermaths
Yes you’re probably right, I hope no one has been bullied or anything or feels they will be left out, that’s really shit if they have been.

@IsobelRae23 That’s actually really true! Would be much easier if they could be with their friends but people might be left out but then again incidents like that can happen also.

@cuppy DH flagged it up and was basically told he’s wrong Hmm

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Original poster
southoftheland · 02/08/2019 16:01

@Zebraaa Didn’t think of that. I’ve been to both and Barcelona does definitely have more thieves but it’s honestly not as bad as people make it out to be, well from my experience anywayGrin

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Isthebigwomanhere · 02/08/2019 16:02

Both of mine have had similar trips.
Dd1 went to Krakow in Yr11 and was given a detailed itinerary before hand.
Once they got there the teachers basically said
" no boys or girls in each other's room
No drinking or smoking
No being an idiot
And if you do any of the above don't get caught " 🤔😀

Original poster
southoftheland · 02/08/2019 16:10

@Isthebigwomanhere
Grin

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stucknoue · 02/08/2019 16:11

Haha, they don't speak Spanish in Barcelona! The teachers didn't think that through did they. My friends speak Catalan and refuse to speak Spanish (they live in England so obviously speak English)

Original poster
southoftheland · 02/08/2019 16:12

DS is still really upset, he’s been moping around on facetime to his friends who are also going on the trip. He’s supposed to be going to a party with one of them tonight but he’s saying he doesn’t want to go and he’s really upset that he’s wasting a week which he could use to revise for GCSES or hang out with friends etc when he won’t even have fun

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cuppycakey · 02/08/2019 16:18

My DD wouldn't go on a school trip if she couldn't share with her friends.

The school should rethink this.

Original poster
southoftheland · 02/08/2019 16:30

@cuppycakey

Should I ask them to? Or would that be creating a scene/making a problem?

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RabidRabbles · 02/08/2019 16:42

At our secondary school, somewhere between the two trips would be more usual.

On DD's trip they were asked who they would like to share a room with and the teachers did their best to arrange it for them.

There was a very busy schedule of places to visit and things to do, so they didn't get a great deal of free time. They were allowed an hour or so here and there to look in the local shops or to choose which exhibitions they wanted to spend more time at.

They went around as one big group, so the school wasn't at all strict about allocating particular teachers to particular students. The only time I've seen that happen is when individual students need to be allocated to particular members of staff for health or behavioural reasons but they don't want to make it obvious to everyone else.

Then again, I couldn't imagine our secondary school giving Yr 9s the level of freedom that your DD had on her trip. Maybe in Yr 11 or older but I think the Yr 9s would be considered too young for that.

Original poster
southoftheland · 02/08/2019 16:45

@rabid

To be fair to the school, DDs trip was a mix of Y9 and 10, right at the end of the year (days before summer) so it was taking 14 and 15 year olds, more or less Y10s and Y11s.

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cuppycakey · 02/08/2019 16:45

Speak to DS and find out what exactly his concerns are (they may not be the same as yours/what you think his are) and take it from there.

If he doesn't want you to take it further then don't.

I know DD would have refused so I would have contacted school and asked for an adjustment and explained that we never would have booked it if the frankly odd arrangements had been communicated in advance.

I honestly cannot imagine the teachers want to be sorting out friendship/sharing issues on this trip on top of everything else they have to deal with (like Spanish not being spoken) Good luck!

YouBelongHere · 02/08/2019 16:48

We went on school trips to Spain with an itinerary and almost everything we did was with the teachers. The only thing sticking out to me as weird is that they can't pick who they share a room with - really odd?

Original poster
southoftheland · 02/08/2019 16:49

@cuppycakey DS has explained that it’s going to be boring because everything is structured to the minute and there won’t be time to breathe or make memories. He also doesn’t like how French Y9s and Y10s last year were allowed more freedom than this years Spanish Y11s and he thinks it’s unfair.DS also thinks it’s ‘beyond stupidly mad’ how he can’t share a room with his friends and nearly all of them have surnames beginning with letters at the end of the register but his is an early one so he is likely to be the only one alone

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LIZS · 02/08/2019 16:50

Dd's trips were more like your first example, but in uk or mixed with local students. Perhaps the system on the French trip raised issues which the Spanish trip has taken on board. Pickpocketing is rife in Barcelona. Are the groups similar sized? I expect there will be some less supervised time but the kids need to demonstrate they can be responsible. He won't be revising for his gcses in September anyway!

elQuintoConyo · 02/08/2019 16:51

Of course they speak Spanish in Barcelona Hmm most of those working in the service industry will be from South America (mostly Chile, Argentina, Peru). Anyone else will realise the kids are foreigners and flip languages.

If you want Catalan, try Girona, Lleida, Vic, Tarragona...

Original poster
southoftheland · 02/08/2019 16:51

@YouBelongHere I think DS understands that it’s a school trip so a lot is structured. If was the same for DD, she had structured events then they all traveled to the central areas and let the children go off and have lunch with friends and explore before going to another event. Some days were much more relaxed but that was the general gist. However with DS he won’t get any time like that whatsoever and I too don’t understand the room situation

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