Looking after friend's dog.

[Yappy12]

Do you think I'm mean for expecting wife's friends to pay us something for looking after their dog? If they put her in kennels it would cost them. They paid for 5 of them to go to Philippines in May and asked us to have their 8 year-old Staffie. We have a 6 year-old Beagle. I said NO and asked why they didn't put her in kennels and was told "Oh you have to pay" FFS. Of course you do. They can afford thousands to go there but not make arrangements for their dog. So night before they flew my wife was at their house and they said they'd got a man to have her but he was ill so we'd have to have her. Wife brought her and I was so angry. Dog was in season, drops of blood everywhere but never bothered to tell us that. Why didn't they have her spayed? "It costs money" They've never even offered me anything. Gave me her food but it was nowhere near enough so had to buy more.
You see our 22 year-old daughter died suddenly last April and my wife was scared of her ghost. The Filipinos have these superstitions! So she slept there for a few weeks until her sister and niece came. She feels we owe them for that so should have the dog. They're all going again in Jan. and I really just don't want her again. Am I mean? Am I awful for thinking they should pay us or at least offer?

It is a pisstake really and they blatantly took advantage of your wife the night before by lying about someone being ill, it's selfish of them if they think you "owe them one" after they consoled your wife over the death of your daughter( sorry must still be hard)...also what is a Filipino? And I'm also not getting why your wife would be scared of your daughters ghost?

You should offer to pay if someone is looking after your pet. If your friend turns it down, then a small gift.

Think your wife is being a bit unfair. She won’t walk your dog or neighbours dog ‘because they are ‘not hers’ ( but the one is now yours) but she will her employers?
Even though you have a disability and your neighbours took such good care of her?
You said no but she agreed. I think you have more of a problem here with your wife.
This is very unfair on you ( and on your poor dog when you can’t walk it).

No i would not charge my friends, i would expect them to provide all care though, so food, medication, bed etc to be offer to be reimbursed if i had to purchase anything, poss small thank you gift for the favour.
I would also never use boarding. Not due to money but my pets would not cope, some animals do not react will outside of their regular surroundings.

You have a wife problem over walking your own dogs, especially when you were ill. She can say no to you but not the others. Why is this? She doesn't sound very kind to you or the dogs.

Presumably Dw is having the employers dogs because they are paying her and she feels she can't say no.
Presumably she said yes to the friends dog because she stayed in their house. They didn't really give her a choice by lying about the man. They sound cf's but then she stayed at theirs. It sounds a very strange relationship. Do they have some sort of hold over her?

She's repaid the debt. You must now say no to January on the basis of it upsetting your dog. Tell them that you won't have it last minute either, if they pull the same trick as before. If Dw doesn't listen to you and overrides your wishes then I'd be looking at your relationship and its viability.

Mardymarvis, a Filipino is someone from The Philippines, in Asia.

Some Filipinos get afraid when someone has died. Not up to us to knock their beliefs and superstitions.

And you weren't comforting your wife because...?

The posting style of this thread is exactly the same as the crazy post about ruining out of money and sending their child to live at a friends for a year on the property board. Seems like someone is trying to froth people up.

I WAS comforting my wife but she just said she couldn't sleep here as she was scared of every single noise at night outside as well as inside. They asked her if she wanted to go there. Wasn't my idea.

I haven't made any post about a child going to live at a friends. Our only child died last year.

I don't think you can expect payment. A generous thank you, definitely, but payment betwen friends always seems awkward. Saying that I always offer money to people who look after ours, but we have a lot and it takes about an hour a day. But I now have one friend who also has quite a few so we just reciprocate.

I think the last time was a fair thank you for your wife staying at theirs tbh. However, it's appalling that they gave you no choice about the matter, didn't tell you she was in season and didn't give you enough food. I hope you got the money back for what you spent on her.

Why did your wife not walk the dog though? I can understand her not wanting to walk yours (though am not impressed she let her go 4 days without a walk) but since it was a favour for her that was being reciprocated it should have been her to take charge. I'd tell her that she'll need to do it if the dog comes back in January.

Whenever anyone looks after my dog I bring them something back from holiday normally a bottle of whiskey and a bottle of perfume... I think it’s totally rude not to personally.

I think if your wife agrees to take the dog even after you have said no, it has to be up to her to walk, feed, clean up after and pay for extra food etc.

My DB who I am very close to, dog sits our dog when we are out. He enjoys it and often asks to do it and I still offer him money. I think it's quite rude not to.

I don't think doing someone a favour after their daughter has died, should be something that needs re-payed, esp not in the form of dog sitting.

If you can't afford care for your dog whilst on holiday, don't have a dog or don't go on holiday 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think it's because I don't work, took early retirement through illness, and she works full time as a nanny, that she thinks I should do all the dog caring and walking. Our late daughter wanted a dog in 2013 but she never took her out much either and died suddenly from SADS last April, so it's all fallen on to me. As her employers are away and she doesn't have to go she's walking their dog instead but hasn't once walked ours.

UPDATE. Had the shock of my life the other evening. Was putting my shoes on to take our dog out and wife said "I'll take her" She's never taken her once in 6 years. I said "Are you okay or are you ill or something?!

Also her friend sent me 6 tall tins of red salmon last week, said it was for looking after the dog.