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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find “just call me anytime” manager annoying?

19 replies

ArgumentativeAardvaark · 01/08/2019 13:06

At work last week I set up a short meeting with a senior manager to talk about a project that my team want him to sponsor. He blew me out at the last minute due to “running out of time before my holiday”. He then said “oh but just give me a ring anytime later in the week” (his holiday is in the UK and he’s out for 2 weeks).

I don’t find this flexible I find it stressful- how do I know when he’s playing with his kids/sitting down to lunch/on the golf course/having a few drinks/having an afternoon nap or a bit of afternoon delight with his Missus. He is known for being tetchy at times, but he is also the King of taking calls day or night, constantly has his phone glued to his ear talking to clients.

I think that the discussion can wait till he’s back in the office but my boss was copied on his email and wants me to ring him so she can get things moving sooner. I know him better than she does and don’t think he’ll focus properly. Am tempted to say I tried to call and no answer but I know that is unwise! I tried texting yesterday to ask if it was a good time but he didn’t respond.

AIBU to be fucked off that he’s giving the outward impression of being all flexible and “oh call me on my holiday it’s no problem at all! “ when in fact it is inconsiderate and a bit disrespectful?

OP posts:
AryaStarkWolf · 01/08/2019 13:09

Tell your Boss that you text him asking when was a good time to call but he didn't respond so you'd rather wait till after his holiday

Kochicoo · 01/08/2019 13:11

You're fine, you sent a text and he didn't respond. Ball is in his court now and if he doesn't reply, you don't need to try again. Oh and YANBU.

TayoTheLittleBus · 01/08/2019 13:12

You’re overthinking it. If he can’t talk he won’t answer. You leave him a voicemail and he’ll call you when he’s ready to talk to you.

Alternatively text him and ask when is a good time to call. I get why you don’t want to do it but it doesn’t sound like he’ll be bothered at all

elessar · 01/08/2019 13:13

Don't lie. Just try and call him at a sensible sort of time (ie.11am). If you get no answer then text and suggest either he calls you at a time to suit him, or to let you know when it's convenient.

If he doesn't reply then wait until he's back in the office.

Teddybear45 · 01/08/2019 13:14

Just call him.

Madfrogs · 01/08/2019 13:15

Are you sure his not saying it because his expected to say it.

My dh gets lots of emails, calls and texts from work colleagues when his off. What he does is put it on airplane mode and checks it once or twice a day. That way he can respond in his own time often once the office has technically shut so he knows he won’t be ropped into a hour long call about something that really shouldn’t even of needed to happen.

It’s a works phone that he is expected to carry with him and we both know very well that if we where aboard they wouldn’t even attempt contact but because it’s just the uk it’s not a proper holiday Hmm

edwinbear · 01/08/2019 13:16

Call him, leave a vm. When he calls back, if he's distracted, he's more likely to sign off the project isn't he? So he can get back to his holiday - that's good.

Original poster
ArgumentativeAardvaark · 01/08/2019 13:20

Yeah, my problem is less that he’ll be annoyed I called at an inconvenient time (he asked me to call any time so not my problem), it’s that he’ll try to discuss it at the inconvenient time, not focus and cut me off. I need 20 mins, he knows this as that’s how long our meeting was set for. That’s quite a long phone call. Whereas if he’d agreed to a time or even a window for the call he could remove himself from the beach/bedroom/golf course.

OP posts:
Original poster
ArgumentativeAardvaark · 01/08/2019 13:24

He’s very very senior MadFrogs, he makes his own rules about when to answer calls and emails. If it’s a client he’ll respond at anytime of day or night. But internal stuff like my team’s thing always gets shunted to the bottom of the pile. Which I am fine with, I just can’t be arsed second guessing when he’ll make time for it.

OP posts:
Madfrogs · 01/08/2019 13:27

Pop an email outlining it and leave it. Push it to the back of your mind.

If it ever comes up you have a paper trail.

Brefugee · 01/08/2019 13:31

text him to find out when he's available and do the call

Original poster
ArgumentativeAardvaark · 01/08/2019 13:41

Already did that and he ignored it. Well, I texted saying “is now a good time?” which to me would expect the response ”no, but how about x time/day?” Or “sorry, only just saw this, how about...?”.

Basically I am just annoyed that the hierarchy means that I have to do all the running. I know that’s how workplaces work but a bit of courtesy would not go amiss.

My team often gets meetings cancelled at the last minute by people who have clearly known for quite a while that they were not going to make it but they get caught up in whatever urgent client business is consuming them and don’t think to tell us and we sit around like numpties until their secretary confirms that they left the building 20 minutes ago.

OP posts:
Brefugee · 01/08/2019 15:41

It is absolutely infuriating - but I think that rather than give up I'd send one more text saying "is X time suitable or Y time?"

And if you get blown off again just reply with "ok, we'll discuss after your holiday" and get on with whatever else you need to do.

I feel your pain, people who waste my time at work are going to be the first up against the wall.

Original poster
ArgumentativeAardvaark · 01/08/2019 16:42

But the bullet, rang, he was actually OK and listened properly and made the right noises. And now that we can get it moving I reluctantly agree that my boss was right to want to push ahead. I guess that’s why they are boss and senior manager and I am where I am! Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
ArgumentativeAardvaark · 01/08/2019 16:43

By rang I just mean dialled the number and hoped it was a good time, no more texting.

OP posts:
Brefugee · 01/08/2019 20:01

to be fair - it could be that he really needed to get away (perhaps it was his turn to pick the kids up?) and he didn't want to leave you hanging until he got back?

I'm a manager and I'd rather have my team call me for something like this, rather than wait and it be urgent or too late. (or if something is about to blow up if I don't give a - for me - relatively easy and quick answer - I'd rather know about it rather than everyone else wait and worry)

So it all turned out all right! Flowers

Original poster
ArgumentativeAardvaark · 01/08/2019 22:51

But would you not give your team member a window to call in @Brefugee, or a quick bit of info about when was the best time of day to ring? PMSL about picking up the kids though. I’m not sure he could tell you their names without asking his wife....

OP posts:
Alislia17 · 02/08/2019 04:51

This reply has been deleted

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Brefugee · 02/08/2019 10:19

Probably not. I'd tell them not to to call at certain times if I had plans but that would be it.

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