AIBU to wonder why wedding speeches are still so popular?

[PolkaDotted]

Does anyone actually enjoy them? I guess some do but they're so long and tedious. Also I feel sorry for the poor Best man who has to try and be funny, and often they're awkward, overly crude and embarrassing.

Yes, if you get lumbered with three men in a row clutching sheets of paper you know it's time to head to the pay bar / bogs/ exit.

I love a wedding speech! I’ve only ever seen them being done really well so maybe I just know more interesting and funnier people?!

I personally love the speeches - DP and I are getting married next year and he is DREADING having to give a speech. I'm very excited about it

You're all mad.

I can see how they could be appropriate and moving under certain circumstances, family member who recovered from cancer, the bride who was seriously injured etc but otherwise I don't really see the point. What's wrong with a few brief thank yous or if necessary a short speeches. Why do they have to go on forever and why is it almost always just the men doing the talking?

Unfortunately people pick their best mates or brothers rather than the natural raconteur of the social group. Preparation is the key.

True.

When we married DH asked someone he had been friends with since he was 11. Waste of space as a best man frankly. I don't think he gave it any thought at all until the day and then realised he hadn't got anything prepared and so he totally bottled it and ended up just reading out the cards that had been sent - no speech at all. I can think of several of his more recent friends who would have made a much, much better job. DH admitted afterwards he didn't know what he was thinking when he asked him as he has no form for being good at social events.

When DH was a best man himself he put loads of effort in to it and practised every day in the car for a week with me listening. IMO he got it just right. Not too long, sufficiently light-hearted and humorous but not at all coarse or embarrassing.

We didn’t have any at ours.

My Dad has severe social anxiety. He would literally have spent two days on the toilet with the nervous shits if I’d told him to. 🤣

The best man wasn’t the type to know what to say or speak in front of an audience.

So just before the wedding breakfast we stood up, said welcome and thanks to our guests, that was it. Lots of people mentioned it as being refreshing afterwards.

I love speeches. None of my friends are particularly over emotional with their partners in front of me so I love hearing a true declaration of love in the groom's own words for my friend - no matter how good he is at public speaking. Hearing friends' dads talk about them too is just wonderful, it's a brilliant expression of love. Even the bad ones give you something to giggle about. And I have to say I've rarely seen a bad best man one either - we must be blessed with some articulate friends.

Just a little brag but I also did a very short speech of my own at our wedding and loads of people came up to me and said it was brilliant. My mother-in-law started crying

"The speeches are part of what makes a day unique and special to me" - couldn't agree more @Candlesonthetable

I could see how they might be appropriate and moving under certain circumstances

Would a personal declaration of love, in your own words, to your brand new wife on the day of your marriage, not fit the 'appropriate and moving' box OP?

The speeches are one of my favourite parts of a wedding! 80% of the ones I've seen have been great, that's a good enough hit rate for me.

It depends on the personality type of the people who are giving them I think.

At one of my best friends wedding her dad (who is the most painfully shy person alive) gave his speech and it was quite uncomfortable to watch because he was obviously so nervous, he didn't touch his food through nerves and wasn't enjoying everyone looking at him.

We get married in October and we are not having any speeches, my dad is not part of my life so he will not be there and my partners best man is not an outgoing person and the first thing he said after being asked to be best man was oh god I cant do a speech so we decided we would rather not put him and our guests through the pain of him standing there uncomfortably trying to get through a speech.

They were short and simple at our wedding. I went to a friend's wedding where one the dads (I can't remember if it was bride's or groom's dad) started crying at the beginning of his speech and sobbed all the way through it. It was painful to watch and sit through. No one could hear what he was saying. Everyone was really hungry at that point too and the speeches seemed to go on forever! I wouldn't have minded if the speeches were after the food! I'm sure they do them before so you HAVE to sit through them.

Same here ShirleyPhallus

Not to me. I prefer to keep such things private and I'm not one for long speeches on the subject. It's like those old fashioned cards where the verses go on for pages and pages. It seems so insincere and OTT.

The last wedding we went to, as well as the traditional speeches you expect to hear at a wedding (Groom, Father of the Bride, Best Man) the Bride, her Maid of Honour then two more bridesmaids, and each of her three sisters made a speech and each of them waffled on for ages. Everyone was bored stiff, which led to all the wine that had been placed on the tables ready for dinner being polished off before the meal had even started. Consequently, a few guests were so drunk that they didn't actually make it to the evening reception.

I made a speech at my sons wedding in the US last year, both the bridegroom and his twin brother (his bestman) would have rather cut off their arms than make a speech. The brides father went AWOL as the champagne was being poured, so I grasped the opportunity welcomed DIL to our family and reminded all the guests that all the best British families have an American DIL now!
I proposed a toast to the Happy Couple.......All done in about 1 minute, their older brother and DH said it was just the job.

Long speeches are dire, we went to a wedding recently where the groom was from the Czech republic, the brides father had got someone to translate his speech into the grooms native language for him to read phoenetically, both speeches were long.......and doubly boring.

Oh God the sobbing .. Can't be doing with it.

Men in ill-fitting grey suits and assorted meringues blubbing and wittering while infants bawl and adults brawl and buffets pall, and that's just OH's side of the family.

They are one of my favourite bits of a wedding! Especially the Father of the Bride speech! Gets me all emosh every time!

I like the speeches but thankfully the long speeches have been entertaining/heartfelt and the short ones by those who know their limits.

We are getting married in Feb, only my dp and I are giving speeches. I want to stand in front of my nearest and dearest and tell them all just how much I bloody love the man I'm marrying....can't wait.

Not to sound la-di-da but it entirely depends on the circles you move in, dahling. Not a pleb in sight for me!

I can't stand them. All that standing up and clapping and toasting and pretend laughter. The poor guests with children desperately trying to get them not to make a squeak while some bloke bores on for 20 minutes.

I love listening to the toasts!! I can't wait to hear mine at my wedding next year

I was dreading the speeches at our wedding but the BM, DF & DH done so well best described as short and sweet.

However DH's Aunt insisted on giving an impromptu speech, that lasted longer than the other three combined, it went down like a lead balloon, and was all about how it was DMil special day and if we looked about the venue you could clearly see that DH had the most guests there so he was clearly the most loved, nothing about the bride.

We had wanted a small wedding and agreed on 15 guests each, but DMil invited 15 additional people of her own which we made room for, thats why he had more people present, after the speech i really didn't know why I bothered.

I cannot bear only men making speeches at a wedding, it's so sexist and old fashioned and insulting to women. If there must be speeches it should be men and women speaking, not just one sex. Mind you, I also have a problem with dads "giving daughters away".

There are quite a lot of things about weddings I don't like

PS very happily married myself so it's not that, I just don't like sexist behaviour being accepted and fondly looked upon as "tradition". It was only a year ago that womens occupations (mothers) were added to certificates!

Strange isn't how some people find hideous sexist traditions 'posh'