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Original poster

To ask what's it like from 2-3 kids

62 replies

snackarella · 31/07/2019 18:33

Trying to decide wether to go from 2 dc (aged 18 months and 3.5yr) to 3.
I have struggled with 1-2 but they are both so lovely and I'm just coming out the hard times as the 18m becomes more independent etc.

I'm a sahm so work isn't a factor, although I have started some freelancing recently.

Does anyone have any advice or experience they can share? All my friends have stopped at 2!

OP posts:
AlwaysOnAbloodyDiet · 31/07/2019 20:01

I found my 3rd easy.
He was easy, because I was so busy with the 2 others that I was too tired & too lazy to get him into a routine or try and put him down or get him to sleep.

I just left him sleep with me and fed him all the time on demand (breast) - that's pretty much my only memory of his first year. He was happy out and so was I Smile

Of course the housework suffered and I had to lower some standards, but I found all that easier or possible once he got to 2 or 3.

It's busy now that they're older, but we love having 3.

I would have another if finances allowed it and if I wasn't such a worrier - I'm afraid to roll the dice again, having had 3 healthy pregnancies, deliveries and children

Sparklybanana · 31/07/2019 20:07

Gawd. Can't read this thread. Having a surprise number 3 and not sure I'll stop hyperventilating until they're 10.

InTheHeatofLisbon · 31/07/2019 20:10

Sparklybanana I thought that too, was shit scared.

DS2 is 5 now, starts school in two weeks and I wouldn't change a thing, he and DD are a wee tag team and they adore each other. DS1 is a bit too grown up to join in but sometimes he does, and it's lovely. DSD1 is 16 and after a bumpy start with her and DD they're inseparable.

Congratulations

AlwaysOnAbloodyDiet · 31/07/2019 20:18

Congratulations @Sparklybanana

Our 3rd was planned, but instant reaction was 'oh sh*t, what have we done'? But he really was and is just the best thing ever Smile

YouSetTheTone · 31/07/2019 20:30

Car seats is a PITA! We got a multimac to get around it and I dislike the newborn seat as it is very ‘upright’ so feels like DS3 is tipped forwards Sad - but I think when he’s out of that it’ll work well.

Mine are 7, 3 and 3 months, mine don’t sleep as babies and I breastfeed too. TBH the only way I’ve been able to bf this time is with lots of family support - school runs and entertaining older ones. BUT I always find bf hard to establish. If you’re one of the ones who can pop baby on and off and move around with them on the boob etc then you can do it. 2-3 has been a shock to the system but partly that’s the age gaps - a blessing in many ways but we had just got out of the shitty baby stage and now back in it... plus trying to potty train DS2 at the same time... (he has been appalling at it! That’s just bad luck!)
BUT I know that once we’re over the worst (I’ve always preferred babies from 6 months onwards) it’ll be brilliant. DS3 is a darling. Right now a PITA darling but I can still see it... and his brothers adore him.
Sorry. Not a very helpful post really. Do consider how much help you’ll have and whether financially you can manage. You don’t become exponentially happier the more children you have I don’t think.
However I do feel ‘done’ now in a way I didn’t before. Smile
(And DH has already had the snip!!)

ringadungding · 31/07/2019 20:37

@celtic1hair, if you're in two minds about it, before you make a decision, check out today's news story about Prince Harry and spare a thought for the planet. These guys were all over the TV this morning: populationmatters.org/the-facts

Happyspud · 31/07/2019 20:43

Very. Very. Tough.

Montsti · 31/07/2019 20:46

I found 2-3 much easier than 0-1 and 1-2...

When no.3 was born, no.1 had just turned 5 and no,2 was 2.5...

pastaparadise · 31/07/2019 20:46

Research shows 3 dc of 5 and under is a risk factor for depression. Just saying.

HalfBloodPrincess · 31/07/2019 20:49

2 to 3 was easy for me. My older 2 were 12 and 13 (16 months between them) when I had my 3rd and I really like both the age gaps. My 3rd is now 2y1month and I have a 4th who is 10 weeks! It’s lovely, like having 2 sets of 2.

Milkmachine15 · 31/07/2019 20:52

1-2 was the hardest for me, found it quite hard to balance it all and find my octopus arms to do more than one thing at once! But 2-3 was actually quite easy I’d got the hang of juggling it all, hoping 3-4 goes just as well!! Mine are 5,4,21m and I’m due any time now!! One warning is that each pregnancy has got much much harder and this one has been a huge struggle even considering that I have ‘easy’(no complications etc) pregnancies so cant imagine how it would be if you did!

CherryBlu · 31/07/2019 20:53

I found 2-3 much harder than I thought I would 🙈 my eldest is 11 then 6 and 2, it changes everything.....bedroom sharing, bigger car, days out and holidays more difficult etc. I had two sweet little girls first then I had a boy last which I was over the moon with but man oh man he keeps me on my toes 😂🙈😍 I think I struggle more because I'm no spring chicken now too! 23 when I had my first and then 32 when I had my last, I'm ALWAYS tired but then aren't we all 🤷🏻‍♀️ I wouldn't change any of it for the world but just thought it would be an easier walk in the park then it is and not as expensive 😂

Almostfifty · 31/07/2019 20:55

2-3 was hard, 3-4 was a breeze. No sleep, but hey, it's for wimps isn't it? Grin

CherryBlu · 31/07/2019 20:55

I do however like my age gaps as I only ever had one at home as the next one up was just starting school, so always had quality one-one time with each of my babies and never had more than one in nappies or needed a double pushchair etc

Smile19 · 31/07/2019 21:01

I've got 3 (6, 4 and 1). I have to say I love it. They are amazing together. I can't explain it really. I found 1-2 easy. 2-3 was ok, but as other people have said it's things like cars and holidays (we don't go on any...) which made it a challenge rather than the actual baby(!) Love having 3 :)

HuntIdeas · 31/07/2019 21:22

To be honest, I think it’s really difficult with 3 to give each one the attention they need. Just simple things like only being able to hold 2 hands crossing the road, or if they want to do different things at the weekend then DH and I can only split ourselves 2 ways

CheshireDing · 31/07/2019 21:38

I second what the pp said about things you wouldn't think of like crossing the road. When we are crossing a road I hold the 3 years old hand and the 5 & 7 year old hold each others (they are super sensible too though).

We did have to change our car as DC2 was still rear facing and all 3 car seats are massive (plus the dog is huge too). We went from a lovely Kia Sportage to a Citroen Grand Scenic which we hated to swapped for a Nissan Elgrand (basically a camper van), which we all love Grin

ceebeejeebies · 31/07/2019 21:41

I have 3, oldest 5, youngest is 1. Im a single parent so that will obviously make my experience different but it is very hard work. I think my oldest feels quite left out sometimes. I obviously try my best to make sure he feels happy but most days I can't seem to keep up with them. They all have a lovely bond though and love each other very much. We have some really lovely moments amidst the chaos. And I was very surprised at how easy the baby seemed to slot into our routine... I feel like he had no choice though 😂 if you feel mentally prepared to spend at least another 2/3 years without a seconds rest then go for it. I honestly never knew what sleep deprivation was until I had my third!

maroonpink · 31/07/2019 21:45

Find this thread interesting. I have twins and they're 1.5 years. I don't know if I want another one. Don't think so. 😂

BottomleyPottsSpots2 · 31/07/2019 21:47

0 to 1 - holy crap. We've thrown a grenade into our lives.
1 to 2 - pretty smooth, getting more confident
2 to 3 - easiest yet, just fitted in with everything

3 to 4 ... I'll find out in October, fingers crossed.

PS - I've worked full time throughout, other than maternity leaves of 4-6 months. I suspect it would have been much, much harder if I'd been a SAHM.

user2085372673 · 31/07/2019 21:53

I’ve got three and it’s really hard work. I absolutely love ours but really, think about why you want more, as if it’s because you think it looks fun, it’s lovely but endless washing, picking up things and packing thing up and putting away. It’s so hard to give everyone the time they need and our third is one and I can still barely put her down.

I really think 1-2 improves life and makes it more fun but 2-3 really is a lot more work.

user2085372673 · 31/07/2019 21:57

By the way, what is also really interesting is that I read a hundred of these threads before having three and now I have three completely different things stand out. Before I would read ‘it’s lovely / I love my tribe / there was something missing / my family is now complete. Now all I can see is people saying what hard work it is. Let me tell you again, it is very hard work.

maroonpink · 31/07/2019 22:10

@user2085372673 interesting. I am seeing it's hard work and I have 2 , twins!

YoloTF · 31/07/2019 22:12

Bloody awful. Hope that helps Grin

MoltoAgitato · 31/07/2019 22:22

You need responses from people who now have 3 teenagers. I know people who were evangelical about 3 when the 3rd was a baby, but once they got older, the expense and headspace required was much, much greater than just with 2.

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