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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

'Detained' at petrol station for not having my bank card

491 replies

Willowcat77 · 31/07/2019 07:39

Yesterday I stopped at my local village petrol station to refuel. I was on my way to pick up my DS for an important hospital appointment. I am a regular customer as it is the only petrol station/shop in the area and always get my car MOT'd there. My DP has been a customer/friend of the owners for over 20 years.

I went to the counter to pay but then realised that I'd left my bank card at home. The shop assistants knew me by sight so I said I'm really sorry but I'll need to go home to get my card, my house is only 5 minutes down the road. The assistant told me no, I would have to phone someone to pay for me and that I was forbidden to leave the premises!

I was very taken aback, but I phoned my DP. Unfortunately he wasn't answering his phone so I had to leave a voicemail. There was nobody else I could phone in the area. I was very worried about missing the hospital appointment, so I tried to reason with the shop assistants. I explained the situation and offered to leave my phone and £20 cash as security whilst I fetched my card. My petrol bill was £39. They knew I was local and my DP and I have spent 1000s of pounds there over the years.

They refused, saying if necessary I would have to stay there all day until my DP came to pay for me. They said this was "the rule". I wanted to speak to the owner but he wasn't in. I have ASD and am easily panicked. I was getting later and later for the hospital appointment and could feel I was having a proper ASD meltdown. I was getting so distressed I couldn't even redial my DPs number any more and had to ask them to do it. Eventually, after about 20 minutes, DP unexpectedly arrived and paid for me. I still feel very upset and that I can't ever go there again out of embarrassment.

My DP has since found out they did something similar to an older lady recently who was also local and a regular customer.

Aibu to feel I was treated badly and to make a complaint to the owner today? What were my rights in this situation? Could I have left to get the money?

OP posts:
JinglingHellsBells · 01/08/2019 19:29

@Willowcat77 15 pages of comments. The only one I'd add is no one who is not the police can detain you and even then they need a good reason.

You should have walked away. You'd have been back with the money before the boys in blue were after you.

Ok, someone can make a citizen's arrest but I doubt they would have.

You should have walked home and got your card.

Witchend · 01/08/2019 19:32

You can't do a "if they're a regular then different rules" because people will misuse that.
Op thinks she was recognised as a regular. Maybe she was. But then person B is in the same position, but isn't recognised by staff so they refuse. She then puts a claim of discrimination in. How do they prove that one person was recognised, the other wasn't if they both go in similar lengths of time.

I know from where I work that often being nice to one person comes back to hit you. I know that silly things like paying for parking-we're cheap compared to the council run car parks. If someone is accidentally (or eg doesn't have cash so we say not to worry) not charged once, the next time you'd expect them to say "oh that's nice, I didn't pay last time, I saved once". No they get angry "how dare you charge me when I/my friend didn't pay last time."

We've had people tell us that "we shouldn't charge them" (for bigger amounts than car parking) because they're "regulars". "Regular", to give one example, was her daughter, involved in an activity that took place there once a year. She hadn't done the activities for 10 years.
We did an offer for people in a specific group for their children... they were very grateful. And then we started to get the calls from cousins/next door neighbours/people that were "definitely going to start attending".

And we do have regulars who also regularly take the micky. They never have the right money and expect to be let to "pay later", they expect to be given discounts, to be able to come in at times when we're shut, to use equipment that isn't available for use...
They'll also be very vocal.
So how do you distinguish between person A who is one of the above and person B who you know will always do their best. In my case I'll sometimes pay out of my own pocket for the person B. I don't blame someone for not wanting to do that though.

NemosMum21 · 01/08/2019 19:33

Haven't read all 15 pages, but there is no civilian power of arrest for this, and OP could have left at any time. Of course, she would have been embarrassed, and probably not thinking straight. I would have thought that most garages would have been prepared to let her leave the car and keys there and go home to get her payment card, or fill in a form on production of ID. If anyone tried to detain me in this way, I would have rung the police and got them to explain that there was no lawful power to detain. I appreciate, however, that she has ASD and negotiating this kind of situation must be very daunting. I don't think she should avoid the garage in future. It was a simple mistake, albeit that 'drive-offs' have meant that it has now been made a criminal offence. How sad that those who might make an honest mistake should be treated in this way!

CasanovaFrankenstein · 01/08/2019 19:34

I'd complain I think. They have handled it poorly.

Honestly I could've put money on one of the first posts telling you this is a 'lesson'. 🙄🙄🙄

CBsDad · 01/08/2019 19:37

Am I correct in thinking if you leave your contact details it's a civil matter? This must happen all the time, at the end of the month when he had no money my housemate used to do this deliberately and never got detained.

Aridane · 01/08/2019 19:40

Tinchy - regrettably, that's not the case for retail workers, though the deductions by law are capped at 10% of gross pay. I think it's a piss poor practice

GabsAlot · 01/08/2019 19:49

Ive never been able to go over 30 on contactless where do they let you do this

Sicktobloodydeath · 01/08/2019 19:51

To be honest, I’d have just left.

spongedog · 01/08/2019 19:51

I will be interested to hear what the owner has told your DH. My small guess is that he will tell him, no of course DW didnt need to stay, you are a regular; whilst telling his staff something different.

manicmij · 01/08/2019 20:00

As it was so local, 5 mins walk from your house, why didn't you lick your car give them the keys and then walk home to get your card. Happened to me once, couldn't get in touch with DH. Too far to walk home. Managed to contact friend who came with money (card) to pay for me. The garage I was caught out at a big supermarket just asked me to pull into an area away from pumps until I sorted situation out. Absolutely no hassle from them.

smilingontheinside · 01/08/2019 20:01

Not read through but they should have proper forms that you fill in and sign. You have to pay within 7days or the police are informed and it becomes an offence. No way should they have put you through that and as a regular you would imagine a little common sense would play a part. I understand that some will try and pull a fast one but a local village station with regulars who live there could have used some discetion surely Hmm

Oscarsdaddy · 01/08/2019 20:02

Many garages will allow you to complete a form but I’d expect they’d need some form of ID as well to prove you are who you say you are.

Those that say ‘just leave’ and ‘just because they have a sign up doesn’t make it law’ are of course making their personal opinions but if you choose to leave then it’s theft, pure and simple. No different from going into Curry’s asking for a TV and expecting to be allowed to take it home without any means of paying.

I’d imagine the garage have a policy of deducting any ‘stolen fuel’ from staff wages so perhaps that’s why you met the situation you faced

MarshmallowHeat · 01/08/2019 20:06

The staff may have had ASD too. I’m not sure that’s a valid point.

I can see there’s a procedure. It’s a shame they didn’t let you just go home to get the card though, surely humanity and trust don’t always need a policy b

llangennith · 01/08/2019 20:07

They had no right to keep you there and I'm surprised you complied!
Apart from the fact that you are a regular customer, they could easily trace you via the police and your car registration number if you didn't pay within a short time.

busyhonestchildcarer · 01/08/2019 20:11

I was childminding and had young children in the car.Realised id left my card at home.I offered to phone my husband so he could pay on his but they refused.They told me I mustnt leave until someone could come to pay.I was very distressed because of the children.Eventually they gave me forty minutes to drive home and back for my card having explained it would take an hour.I was late back but paid and left then never went there again

sophe · 01/08/2019 20:11

Of course they have to apply a strict rule and cannot possibly make exceptions. It is more than their job is worth. It is awful but the only recourse you would have had would have been to call the police yourself and involve them in accompanying you to your home to get the card. You could have attempted to walk out and then if they grabbed you, claimed an assault. They would have been in their rights to exercise reasonable force. All you would have achieved in this would be to get the police involved and hence a speedier resolution. Really, get over it. Go back. Apologise for the horrible position you put them in and then continue to use the place as if it had never happened.

Elision · 01/08/2019 20:20

@sophe that’s possibly the most remarkably idiotic comments in this idiotic thread. Quite an accomplishment.

JinglingHellsBells · 01/08/2019 20:21

@sophe You are breathtakingly wrong on so many accounts.

They should not use reasonable force to detain her.

And SHE ought to apologise to THEM?

You are joking? Yes?

BenWillbondsPants · 01/08/2019 20:30

This happened to my sister. She was also on her way to hospital (she thought she was miscarrying and was in a state). They also refused to let her leave so she called the non-emergency police number and explained that she had to get to hospital and they would not let her leave the premises. The police told her that they should give her a form to promise to pay and spoke to the staff. Miraculously, the form appeared from under the counter and she was able to leave.

sunshinemode · 01/08/2019 20:38

My partner who is a doctor went in to refuel his car after a particularly traumatic day. He then drove away without paying completely lost in his own world. A few days later when he was away at a conference the police knocked on my door. I explained what must have happened and they were fine about it just asked him to go and pay when he got back despite me offering to go and pay.
I think op was treated very badly.

CharDee · 01/08/2019 20:41

Something similar happened to me. Their card machine wasn't working and neither was their cash machine. There was no sign up anywhere to warn people paying by card and to get to the closest shop with a cash machine I would have had to drive. I was told I'd have to call someone to come and bring the cash and until then I couldn't leave.

The man was so rude to me when I suggested I left my phone and purse with half the cash needed to pay. He basically accused me of trying to get away with paying. Even though I clearly had every intention to pay! I had to pick DS up from nursery and was going to be late.

I called the non emergency number and told them what was happening and they told me about the form. Apparently the cashier hadn't heard of doing that.

I got DH to go on and pay on his way home because I didn't want to see that idiot again. Apparently a person in the shop overheard what was happening and kindly paid for my petrol.

Catsinthecupboard · 01/08/2019 20:45

Im sorry OP. Similar happened to me when my 4yo dd was in car. I was cursed at and had no idea i could put petrol in my car without the card going through. I was so afraid and confused.

Next time (God forbid) call the police yourself. They will sort it out.

Also all of you "perfect" mnetters, take a chill pill bc I am certain that none of you are perfect. This was a mistake. Everyone makes them.

Accidents are called accidents for a reason.

KaceyA · 01/08/2019 20:58

@Idontwanttotalk More specifically, www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1971/24/section/2

No more than 20p in in total coppers (1p's and 2p's)

No more than £5 in total of 5's and/or 10's (silvers not more than 10p)

No more than £10 in total of 20's and/or 50's (silvers more than 10p)

£1, £2 and all the notes are legal tender up to any value.

However they can refuse payment with even legal tender (e.g. £39 in £1 coins), BUT there's a subtle difference - if someone tried to pay say 30p in coppers, the creditor could (in theory) sue them for non-payment as that's not legal tender, if someone paid the aforementioned 30p in 5's, 10's, 20's etc, the creditor can refuse them but they would not be able to sue the debtor for non-payment, as it's legal tender - they'd have to show why they refused.

kezibear · 01/08/2019 20:59

I was in a station near me and bought a few other bits then remembered my petrol. I hadn't paid yet and joked "ooh, and pump number 3.... imagine getting arrested for nicking petrol." He actually told me they do nothing if people don't pay as the police don't really want to know so it not worth the paper work.

Kittekats · 01/08/2019 21:10

OP - what did the owner say to your DH?