AIBU - PIL smelly sheets

[MRex]

We stay sometimes in PIL holiday flat and are there now.

Before DS I'd change the sheets and then change again to clean ones or put back on the PIL used sheets, depending on what MIL asked for. Last year MIL said she'd put on clean sheets and we came with baby DS, who had norovirus from the first evening so the sheets were all vomited on and had to be changed several times. At this point I discovered that MIL was double-stacking sheets and pillow cases; weird but anyway. The washing machine broke, so my mum did washing for us throughout the week including sheets a few times.

We've only just come back; again MIL said she's put clean sheets on and to then just leave the beds. The bed started to stink during the night, it smells of sweaty FIL, who's lovely but doesn't wash enough. I'm as certain as can be that she's put clean sheets on top of his stinky sweaty sheets, so now they're all smelly. DS's dear little head stinks like FIL's 3-day unwashed armpit. DH claimed he can't smell anything, I can't even sleep in it.

So, I think I need to change the sheets and leave all 3 sets for MIL, I'll have to explain when we get home so she knows to bring more clean sheets when they come. I love her dearly and I know she'll feel embarrassed about me thinking they're dirty. She's been unwell recently, but I don't think that's related to her shortcut, I think she's just unaware of how much FIL smells or she'd surely make him shower more. If I don't tell her then she'll just do it again each time we come and we'll always be faced with stinky sheets as a "shortcut". But then DH doesn't even think it smells, so maybe I'm being over-sensitive and unreasonable?

Other options I've come up with

1. Get my mum to wash both sets of sheets, dry and return them; this isn't really feasible before Monday.
2. Live with it - but it's so grim, it smells awful.
3. Buy new sheets, then swap back for dirty ones and hide the clean ones in the suitcase PIL will be bringing back for us.
4. I've no idea if there's a launderette and we have no car.

Find a laundrette and wash them all yourself

I'd buy new sheets to use. The sheet stacking method sounds grim, but you are right to not want to offend MIL.

If you have a holiday gratis in their flat I would buy some relatively inexpensive bedding / i.e. sheets etc and change the beds when you get there. Then change back. I do think sometimes other people ' s things smell differently from your own. When DS came back from Granny's he smelled differently. Not dreadful , just different.

I would go for option 3.

Take your own duvets pillows covers sheets slips. Problem solved.

Buy new sheets and pillow cases and pillows and bring them back next time.

Does double stacking sheets mean putting two lots of clean sheets on a bed and just taking the top layer off? If so that's gross.

I would wash them this time and in future visits just bring my own to change at the start and then put hers on again at the end. No need to offend the woman.

Yeah, 3. She might have washed them but the smell hasn't come out. That can happen if it's too ingrained because you need to wash at 60 or higher to dissolve the oils and grease that carry sweat smells. Sometimes washing machines don't actually get to the stated temperature either and in my experience of sweaty sheets it takes a couple of hour washes to really shift the smell for good. So I wouldn't necessarily assume she has put clean sheets over dirty. DH probably can't smell it if his childhood sheets were washed in the same way.

It could be the actual pillows and duvets that smell so the stinky person smell is coming through the sheets. That’s why goof pillow protectors and washable duvets are essential as far as I am concerned.

So, since you can’t wash I’d buy my own bedding, put that on and bring it home. And strip the beds for MIL and leave them stripped when you leave. In future I would pack my own bedding.

A couple of hot washes, not hour.

Why would she put clean sheets on top of dirty ones?

I’d just wash them all obviously.

Personally I'd buy some dettol all in one spray and liberally spray the beds and then get a big blanket/throw over the bedding and sleep on top of that under a sleeping bag.

You take blankets, sleeping bags and spray home. Nobody is offended and no conversation required.

you are right to not want to offend MIL.

Really? Why should she worry about offending MIL, if MIL clearly doesn't care that her grandson is sleeping on her husband's vile sweat-soaked bedsheet?

Buy new ones then take them home for next time. No need to mention anything if you don’t want to embarrass her.

Perhaps she uses two sets on the bed to protect the mattress? A mattress protector would be better tho... and saying that I think in future I’d just take my own bedding.

Are you sure it isn’t the smell of goose down pillows and/or duvet? They smell awful to me and not unlike an old, sweaty man smell.

@MyOtherProfile - yes, there are 2 lots of sheets. I can't tell the situation for sure as I've been told the sheets are clean. Whatever the system, it looks likely that the bottom sheet isn't being washed.

@BillywilliamV - the launderette is over a mile away, buying new sheets might actually be easier. I guess I need to work out if I need a new duvet cover too, or just sheet, mattress protector and pillow cases.

@BertieBotts - that's very possible, I think MIL usually washes at 40 degrees, though she does also usually line dry in the sun, which would resolve residual smells.

@MaybeitsMaybelline - and the mattress, I'm worried it's the mattress. Febreeze maybe? We can't possibly carry duvets and pillows with us. We could leave spare pillows here and say it's just preference on type, plus pack the sheets we use unobtrusively in a bag to be brought back. That's looking like the best option.

Why should she worry about offending MIL, if MIL clearly doesn't care that her grandson is sleeping on her husband's vile sweat-soaked bedsheet

Sometimes people are kind to one another and care about the feelings of those they love, or even those they don't! People's feelings and relationships matter, slightly stinky sheets don't.

Anyway yes I agree I'd probably buy new sheets to use now. It's a very small payment for use of a holiday home.

I'd probably also tactfully mention it. She might have others staying there, friends or guests, and presumably she'd rather know. You don't have to say it was FIL smell, just say they 'didn't smell as fresh as usual, maybe they were a bit damp when they went on or something? Never mind, just got some new ones, happy to leave them at the flat or bring them back washed' or whatever (I couldn't quite follow the options)

Waterproof mattress protector over her sheets, then make the bed up with your own. Just take your mattress protector and sheets when you leave. I would buy your own pillows and leave them there for your use.

If you stay there regularly for free, I would think it's reasonable to buy a replacement washing machine. Can get one second hand for cheap, or buy a low end model. Sorry not an immediate solution though.

@envelopeofpubes - no, it's the synthetic sort of duvet and pillows.

@adriennewillfly - We come once or twice per year. FIL is a bit bonkers about household things, I suggested a cheap model from John Lewis who can fit and also dispose of the old one and he said no he wants to try to repair the old one. Which is ridiculous because it's old and used to be his mum's, but I can't take that decision for them. MIL told him she wants new with an integrated tumbledrier, which then means it needs a new extractor fan in the room. Also MIL would undoubtedly look up the cost and give me the money, with things in the past when I've said no she's given the money to DH, who happily takes it, so it would end up looking like a very passive aggressive "get a new washer" move.

@Bezalelle - because she's a lovely woman who doesn't deserve to be upset. We also don't know the full situation with the sheets, everyone is just guessing here as to the cause of the smell.

@Esto - the damp smell I could possibly use as an explanation, I'll think about it.

You don't like my suggestion OP?

@Phimma - we're already there, so we can't take our own. We also couldn't have carried them as we didn't travel by car. Sorry I didn't respond before.

Also the flat can be a little damp and musty, so I wouldn't want our nice duvet here and back home again.

I still can't get over the fact that you a) stay in your PILs flat twice yearly and b} your own DM does your laundry for you . I'd be counting my blessings, frankly .

Failing that, buy a washing machine and get it installed yourself, using a fraction of the thousands of £££ you've saved on holiday expenditure. .

Oh dear. I do this with pillow cases. I just see it as making sure the pillow stays clean, and don’t wash the bottom pillow case every time. I’m a bit horrified to read so many people saying it’s disgusting!

3) Buy new sheets, then swap back for dirty ones and hide the clean ones in the suitcase PIL will be bringing back for us.

If you do this you will have to sleep on grim sheets when PIL arrive surely?
I’d just wash everything and next time bring your own sheets.

It sounds utterly grim.

Also the washing machine has been broken for a year!?!
I would be booking an Airbnb or speaking 1-2-1 to MIL and buying a new one position it as an early gift for Christmas or whatever.