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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Not to pay rent anymore?

20 replies

Totallybamboozled · 30/07/2019 22:36

My estranged father is a property developer and I've been living in one of his houses for 6 years. The house conditions are very poor. There is no central heating, the kitchen and bathroom are falling apart and there are sections of laminate flooring missing.
At the time I was desperate after a break up so reached out to him for the first time in 10 years to ask for help getting a house. I've been paying him rent by standing over every month since albeit at a reduced rate of about £200 less than other let's in the area (however the house is substandard and I dont complain) The thing is the front door no longer locks so I text to say I was going to replace it and he told me he would replace it instead and to send measurements. I did and have heard nothing in 2 months so withheld the rent this month. He must know as has unfriended me on facebook but hasn't text anything.
My friends are telling me to stop paying rent now and save up for a new place. AIBU to consider this as an option?

OP posts:

Alfiesmom15 · 30/07/2019 22:45

No central heating and a unsecured property.... stop paying and get yourself a nice house... he cant exactly take you to court he wont have a leg to stand on under those circumstances...

JustHereWithPopcorn · 30/07/2019 22:48

I would stop paying rent but also be prepared for him to kick you out at a moments notice. Please don't leave any valuables in your property!

Original poster

Totallybamboozled · 30/07/2019 22:50

That's my worry that I'll come home from work and wont get in if I stop paying full stop. I was expecting him to make contact so I could say i wont pay rent but will buy a new door instead but tbh I've now had enough of living in such rubbish conditions.

OP posts:

LadyRannaldini · 30/07/2019 22:51

By all means stop paying but also have the decency to get out at the same time.

Idontwanttotalk · 30/07/2019 22:53

Do you have a tenancy agreement?

If you stop paying rent is your dad going to serve you with notice to leave?

I would not stop paying rent if you have a tenancy agreement but I would write a letter about the things that are wrong with the property.

Pipandmum · 30/07/2019 22:53

Get out as soon as you can. Bunk with a friend if need be and find yourself a new home. You can live without central heating but not a house you can’t secure.

PuzzledObserver · 30/07/2019 22:53

Do you have a tenancy agreement or is it completely informal?

lifeinthedeep · 30/07/2019 22:54

Get the door fixed and change the locks. Then stop paying rent.

Thehop · 30/07/2019 22:55

Just move out now. Use this months rent to secure the door and go

Original poster

Totallybamboozled · 30/07/2019 23:03

No tenancy agreement or anything formal. The property had been lying empty for a while before I moved in so think he was just please to have the council tax etc paid as well as some money in rent.

OP posts:

LegionOfDoom · 30/07/2019 23:05

If you stop paying, make sure you already have a property lined up. The council can see this as intentionally making yourself homeless so won’t help you.

Original poster

Totallybamboozled · 30/07/2019 23:08

Problem is I've nowhere to go if I move out. I dont talk to family have a few friends but they have their own families etc and no room. I have some savings but not a great amount. I may just pay to get the door fixed for an easy life and plan my escape in a few months with more money behind me but tbh I'm resenting paying given the fact he isn't bothering keeping his end of the bargain as a landlord let alone a father!

OP posts:

caringcarer · 30/07/2019 23:13

Save a bond for a new property and move out. Once you have found somewhere give him a months notice.

Missingstreetlife · 30/07/2019 23:15

If single get houseshare. If you have kids go to council. Contact shelter

ReanimatedSGB · 30/07/2019 23:43

As PP said, look for a room in a shared house, or a bedsit, pack up and move. It's not going to get any better where you are so cut your losses.

StillMe1 · 30/07/2019 23:44

You were happy enough to get a place to live when you moved there. Just because the owner/landlord is a relative it does not mean that you can disregard your responsibility as a tenant. He could use unpaid rent to ruin your credit score which would prevent you from getting a mortgage or a different rental.
It would be in DF best interests to keep his property in good condition. I think both parties are doing the wrong thing

DerelictWreck · 30/07/2019 23:56

plan my escape in a few months with more money behind me

Given that you've been living there for 6 years and haven't managed to save enough to leave, how will you in a few months?

bernietaupinspen · 31/07/2019 00:00

tbh I've now had enough of living in such rubbish conditions

Take responsibility for yourself and get out. 6 years isn't a temporary measure!

MitziK · 31/07/2019 00:04

Are you absolutely certain he even had council tax to pay on it? You don't pay anything if a property is empty (and unfurnished, but it's not that likely anybody from the council would come round to check, so people can and do lie).

Is it even legally fit for occupation? Is he paying tax on the income he receives from you? Have the appliances been safety tested?

Slum landlords are the pits. Even if you're related to them.

PuzzledObserver · 31/07/2019 10:57

My suggestion - find a local solicitor with expertise in tenancy matters who will give you half and hour's free legal advice (many offer this). Or pay for a consultation. Then you will know exactly what rights you and he each have - but there probably aren't many.

With no tenancy agreement in place, both of you have forfeited the usual legal protections. I think - though I don't know, cos I'm not a lawyer - that he would have to go through the same steps to get you out as if you were a squatter. From news coverage, that appears to be something that's really difficult to do (assuming you have changed the locks).

Whether he can ruin your credit rating as PP suggested, I have no idea. My hunch is not, because there is no legal agreement for you to pay rent. But I'm not a solicitor.

If you do go down the non-payment route, you will of course be trashing any chance of rebuilding the relationship.

How well do you know him. Might he actually use bully tactics and threats to get you out?

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