DM problems

[sallycinnamonn]

I’ve had a lot of problems with my mum since my baby has been born.. to name a few..

Feeding my 10 week old dd solids twice despite being told not to.
Telling me dd WILL eat solids when she is 4 months old despite me saying she’ll be have nothing but breast milk until we feel she is ready.
Overall constantly challenging everything I say or do with dd and constantly telling me or making me feel the way I choose to parent dd is wrong because it’s not what she did with with her dc.

Earlier, I received a text asking how dd was. I forgot to reply as, as soon as I went to, dd woke up. She later text me saying “I asked how dd was earlier” I replied saying sorry and explained what happened. I sent a picture of DD who is super chubby lol and has gotten a bit sore in the crease of her neck, spoke to the HV, we’re dealing with it and it’s getting better.

Mum pointed this out and I told her we’re dealing with it. She said “no don’t do that.” I just ignored the text as I didn’t want to get into another debate with her. She then text me again and said “I’ll have her, I know how to look after her”

To me this seems as though she’s saying I don’t know how to look after dd. Especially after all the other arguments she’s caused and wishes she’s gone against because she doesn’t agree with how we parent dd.

This has really upset me tbh, I know I’m a good mum and don’t deserve this from my mum. It’s extra stress that I just don’t need right now. I don’t feel as though I’m being unreasonable to feel this way? Although I could be because of all the pent up feeling I have towards mum due to all the other situations that have occurred. Please tell me, AIBU? How would you deal with this?

Forgot to add.. when she said “I’ll have her, I know how to look after her” I replied saying “so do I” and she then replied saying “not as well as me” 🙄

Why are you still in contact with her. Anyone speak to me like this then they are not worth my time

She's awful!!!!

I would reply that you don't require her input in your daughters life, you have all the advise you need from professionals.

I would reply “please stop interfering in how I am looking after my daughter. If I need advice I will ask for it, thanks”

Very, very low contact needed now OP. Bland communication which gives very little away and doesn’t make you vulnerable.
This is NOT ON, and you need to give her this message.

Irritating but I hardly feel this is toxic enough to go NC with your mum for. Try not to engage or get drawn into discussions, just bland hmmm or change the subject.

Tell her you'll always be following professional guidance, and don't need her criticising your parenting at an already stressful time. And if she can't respect that, then you don't have the oomph for negativity from anyone and would appreciate if she left you and your new family alone until she can respect your wishes.

She needs to be reminded that you are the mother, you make the rules and you may even on occasion be too busy to drop everything to reply to her text messages. If you disagree with something she says, you must explicitly (kindly though) tell her. Never assume she knows something and don't keep quiet to keep the peace. You are the mother. You are ultimately in charge of your child's health and well-being, not her.

How rude 😩

You may not parent the same as her and that's fine, normal in fact. People parent differently, doesn't mean you're not doing a good job.

I'd be sending short blunt messages, not giving away much. Not letting her over or watch baby. Hopefully she'd get the message that she's been interfering too much.

What a nasty cow! I’d do what the people above suggest otherwise she will get worse.