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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take DD on holiday on her birthday?

8 replies

Ess11 · 30/07/2019 18:41

So I've had this holiday booked since last year, It's only a few weeks away now and DD's dad seems to have suddenly realised this is during her birthday. We won't be back untill 2 days after her birthday and he's now saying I shouldn't take her away on her birthday. I asked him before booking if that would be okay and he said yes but I think he's annoyed now because he's busy for a few days after we get back so he can't see her then either. I did warn him months in advance that this was the plan and if he wanted to do something with her it would have to be before or after, obviously he wasn't listening well enough

OP posts:
raspberryk · 30/07/2019 18:44

We alternate birthdays so as long as he gets her next year surely no problem?
Although if this isn't the plan and you don't do every other birthday then you were a bit unreasonable to not be explicit and ask before you booked and be clear it would be over her birthday.

Original poster
Ess11 · 30/07/2019 18:47

I did ask before I booked but he doesn't seem to think I did

OP posts:
wonderingsoul · 30/07/2019 18:49

Ynbu
I would remind him that you did ask before hand a d the only person hed be hurting is his child. .. the birthday girl.

He can do something with her before or after. Make sure shes available to speack to him on the phone.

Original poster
Ess11 · 30/07/2019 19:09

This is the second birthday she's had since we separated, last year I had her for the morning and he had her for the afternoon but we hadn't said that would always be what we would do, alternating birthdays would probably be easier in the long run

OP posts:
Benjispruce · 30/07/2019 19:15

If you told him, it's his lookout. You need to make a plan for the future though because it's not fair on your DD.

BeanBag7 · 30/07/2019 19:31

How old is DD is she aware that it's her birthday and does she have an opinion on whether she wants to see her dad on her birthday?

You checked and he didn't click that it was over his birthday - his fault
He is busy for a few days after - his fault

Original poster
Ess11 · 30/07/2019 19:35

She's turning 5 so yes she is, she knows she won't be seeing him on her birthday because of the holiday and she's okay with that

OP posts:
raspberryk · 30/07/2019 19:45

Always a good idea to have a record of things that have been agreed, ex's always do this "you didnt ask" shite.

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